Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 19: Bad Days

 Bad Days

I think, in general, I am a very positive person. Obviously, not all the time; everyone has their bad days, but I like to think that people notice my positivity. On Thursday, August 29th 2024, I got off work at 4:00. I was getting off the highway 10 minutes later and I had the green light.

I made my turn, but unfortunately, someone ran their red light. He only hit my front bumper, and there was minimal damage, so no witnesses stopped. The guy who hit me pulled over, and I glared at him as I passed him to pull over, too. This guy, who couldn’t have been older than 21, mouthed “sorry” as I pulled over, and when we both got out of the cars, he said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t notice that the light changed.”

I called the police, and then my parents and I was about to call Paige, but by the time I was done with my parents, the police had already arrived, so I just texted her. While I was on the phone, the other guy had been, too, and he started trying to put the crash on me. Long story short, because there were no witnesses, they couldn’t prove which of us was at fault (though one of the cops told me he believed I was not).

I got back to my parents' house, and Dad fixed my car. About an hour and a half had passed since the crash, and Paige had justifiably been stressing out the entire time. I picked her up from the apartment, and then we returned to my parents' house and ended up having dinner with our neighbors, Steven and Robin, their daughter Megan, and our friends Tim and Kristin. We headed home around 10, and unbeknownst to me, I ran over a nail at some point between Meadow Park, Dr., and the apartment.

I have been trying to save money on coffee, so I only go to the coffee shop to write once a week. However, Noah got me a gift card for my birthday, so I got up at 5:00 the following day to write there before work. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, turned on the light, and realized I had pink eye in my left eye. I called off work and set up an appointment for the Minute Clinic at 9:10.

The Minute Clinic was only five minutes away by car, so at 9:00, I got in my car, turned it on, and started driving. As soon as I started moving my car, it went G-dunk G-dunk G-dunk G-dunk because my tire was flat. I called a Lyft, got to the MinuteClinic just in time, and got a doctor's note and a prescription for eye drops. As the prescription was being filled, I called Mom to fill her in on how chaotic the morning had been, but unfortunately, my phone died mid-call… so I couldn't use it to call a Lyft to get home.

Once the prescription was filled, I started walking home. Three to five minutes into the walk, I saw a bus stop in the distance and realized that I had some cash in my wallet. As if on cue, a bus pulled up right then and there. I started running as fast as I could, waving my arms to let the bus driver know I was there. As soon as I got to the bus stop, the bus driver closed the door, made eye contact with me, and drove away.

I felt so overwhelmed at this point; I wanted to scream and cry and just curse out the next person who looked at me. I took a deep breath, building up for a scream, and just busted out laughing. I didn't want to laugh; it just sort of happened. When I started laughing, I began to think a little more clearly. I knew by that afternoon I would get my tire fixed, and by the following Tuesday (when I was allowed to go back to work), I would have completely gotten rid of the pink eye. It's tough in the moment to think positively. But if you can laugh at yourself, it makes it so much easier to get through your bad days!

Have a Greattastic Day and be Safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 18: Mitchmas 27, Part 2: The Last Pizza Night

 Mitchmas 27, Part 2: The Last Pizza Night

As I mentioned in my first book, The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child, the Anderson family, and my family would have a weekly date night when we were very little. On Thursday, the Anderson girls would come to my parents' house, and Rich and Barbara would go on a date. The following Thursday, Rich and Barbara would watch all the kids, and my parents would go out. The Andersons would always get pizza because it was just logistically easier with my autistic palette. After date nights stopped happening, the Andersons would still have pizza night every Thursday, and when I became friends with them again, I started joining them for pizza night. I attended pizza night, from the Miracle Child events until I started working at Kroger.

Now Rich and Barbra are trying to sell their house. In Rich’s own words, “It's just a pipedream right now,” so nothing is really set in stone as of the posting of this installment, but the move is, at the very least, the backdrop for this story.

On Saturday, August 24th, Paige and I were at her parent's house doing laundry around noon before Arden, Aspen, and Marshall came up from Cincinnati. After the three older Andersons permanently moved away after Covid, Mitchmas has been on a two-year cycle. 2021 was a big year, 2022 was a more subdued year, and last year was a big year, so I decided to lean into the cycle. This year, we planned to hang out at my parent’s house and have a very low-key night. We got to Meadow Park Drive around 3:00, and the girls and Marshall arrived shortly after.

Paige and I walked out of my parents' house and greeted Arden, Aspen, Marshall, and Barbara. After a little bit of spontaneous dancing, we went to the Andersons' backyard. While we were there, Kid arrived after having moved into a new apartment. We all talked for about 45 minutes before Paige and I went to the store to get drinks. Paige and I returned from Kroger at 5:00; unfortunately, Arden was not feeling well.

The night began to unravel pretty quickly from there. Marshall made sure that Arden was okay, and the rest of us sat around, unsure what to do. By 7:30, we were sure that Arden was down for the count, but everyone else was getting hungry. “We should get pizza,” Aspen suggested.

“It'll be the last pizza night…” I said in a reflective tone.

We ordered the pizza, and Barbara and Aspen drove to pick it up at 8:00. At 8:10, they returned and yelled that pizza had arrived to gather us all in the kitchen. To everyone's surprise, Arden stumbled down the stairs, and we all started screaming excitedly as she joined us. As we screamed and ate, Marshall capitalized on the chaos by turning into an inspirational speaker. This went on for about 20 minutes, so I can't tell you everything that was said, but the gist was, “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE! YOU GOT TO MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY DAY!” It was super cheesy, but it was hilarious. As he riled us up, we started playing catch with lemons, oranges, anything we could find, really. It was pure pandemonium.

As things settled down, I looked around the kitchen at my friends. As Rich said, it's just a pipe dream right now; it might not happen… but I'm fairly confident it will. So many Greattastic things happened in that house. I mean, I've literally written three books about it… I looked around at my best friends and my entire world. I felt a little sad that the house would be gone soon. I thought back on all the amazing things we did growing up and have even done in the last 5 years, and I am so happy that we have had so many memories in this house, from the recording of Miracle Child to this last pizza night.

Have a Greattastic Day and Be Safe 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri.

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 17: Mitchmas 27, Part 1: Comedy In Traditions

 Mitchmas 27, Part 1: Comedy In Traditions

Some housekeeping before we get into this installment. A week after the events of the previous installment, Paige and I moved into our new apartment (Summit Crest Apartments). We have more or less completely moved in, though I still haven't moved my podcast stuff over from my parents, which is why it's been a little harder for me to post.

I call my birthday, August 19th, Mitchmas because I think it's funny. I woke up early on my 27th birthday to get ready for work at New Story. Paige wished me a happy birthday, and we played with her cat, Charlie, before I had to go. When I got to work everyone was wishing me a happy birthday, and I responded, “Merry Mitchmas!” Most people thought it was funny, though I will admit I think a few people were thrown off by it.

After I got home from work, Paige and I hung out at the apartment for about an hour and a half before we drove to pick up Noah. We ended up going to Buca di Beppo, which is where I’ve had my family birthday dinner since 2021. Now, there are two locations in Columbus, and one of them is closing, so we went to the other one. We had a ton of laughs at dinner, but the funniest part was at the very end. One of the managers came up to our table, and he said, “Happy birthday! I'm going to make you something very special myself.” We were already going to go back to my parents' house for cake and presents (minus Noah because he had a meeting). About 10 minutes later, a bunch of waiters/waitresses and the manager came out with this HUGE brownie sundae.

We asked for some to-go boxes for everything else, and once it was just us at the table, Dad said, “Watch this!” He then grabbed all of our dessert plates, put a small smudge of the brownie sundae onto each one, and put the rest of it into one of the go boxes, and then we all acted lethargic. The waiter was very caught off guard, and even though it only took him a few seconds to figure it out, he legitimately thought for a moment that we ate the whole thing in like 2 minutes.

After dropping Noah off at home for his Zoom meeting, we headed to my parents' house. About 20 minutes after we arrived, Kid and one of her best friends, Kayleigh, showed up. The card that they had picked out for me was a “from your daughter” card because, growing up, my “sisters” would call me “Mama Mitchell.” I don't really remember what started it, but I think they just did it because it was weird, and it made me feel awkward.

Since my third year doing this series (Season 4), I have written multiple-part installments for my birthday. Part 1 is almost always a depiction of my family going out to Buca di Beppo. I always have fun, but I think every few years, I relearn this lesson. Life can be monotonous and repetitive. To avoid boredom, you need to find the comedy in your traditions.

To Be Continued…

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 16: Final Family Introductions

 Final Family Introductions

Key: In this installment, Paige B= my cousin Paige

In the installment I wrote about Paige and my 1-year anniversary (Spring Break 2024 Part 1: Paige And My 1-Year Anniversary), I said, “Originally, over my spring break, I wanted to take a trip to Florida so she (Paige) could meet my family and we could still have the weekend to enjoy our anniversary. However, Paige's spring break started before mine, so we decided to go on a weekend trip to Hocking Hills…” The only reason I brought up this failed plan was because I knew we were planning on still making the trip over the summer.

On July 19, 2024, Paige and I arrived at the Orlando airport at 5:00 p.m. and made our way to the rental car counter by 5:45. We got to my Aunt Eva and Uncle Zach’s house at 6:40 and by 7:00, Eva, Zach, Paige, my grandpa, Pop-pop, his partner Sara, and I were at a local restaurant called F & D Italian Kitchen.

The next morning, Paige and I went to a restaurant for brunch called the White Wolf with my dad’s high school best friend’s oldest daughter, Madison, and her husband, Clay. While I have mentioned Madison and her sisters Elizabeth and Blinne, both in this series and in my second book, I have not said that I see them as my “cousins” in kinda the same way I see the Anderson women as my “sisters.” This is mainly because I’ve seen Dad interact with their dad the same way I interact with August, Arden, Aspen, and Kid. In any case, I see them as family.

Right after brunch, Paige and I met Eva and Zach at the Peacock fountain dedicated to Elizabeth and walked around a farmer’s market in the area. After walking around the farmers market for a while, we went to a pizza place called Lazy Moon Pizza, and I got the biggest slice of pizza ever, and then we swam in Eva and Zach’s pool for the rest of the day.

Eva has always ridden horses. Fun fact: She currently owns a horse that is the great-great-grandchild of Secretariat! Anyway, there is another horse at Eva’s stable that was pregnant, and on the night of the 19th, she gave birth. So after I got back from Mass on Sunday, Eva, Zach, Paige, and I went to see the new baby horse. It was super cute, and its legs were too long for its body, so the coordination was off (autistic rambling).

After we saw Eva’s horse and left the stable, we got breakfast, And I got two giant pieces of French toast! I wasn't trying to, but I really overate on the trip. At 1:30, we went to Paige B’s house. The people in attendance were my Aunt Alicia, Uncle Paul and Alexander (Paige B’s parents and brother), Austin (Paige B’s husband… You, the audience, know him as Naughstin), Paige B and Naughstin’s 1-year-old son Bentley (though he wasn't feeling good), Alexander's girlfriend Alexa, Pop-pop, and Sara, and my grandma and her husband Joe.

I went around introducing Paige to everyone that she had not met yet. When we got to Uncle Paul, He introduced himself to her like a normal person, then saw me and yelled, “MITCHELL ULIBARRI!” He then ran up to me, picked me up by my right arm and leg, and threw me over his shoulder. As Paige and I continued to laugh, Uncle Paul put me down, looked at Paige, and said, “So, how do you know each other?” As if nothing had happened.

Now, the last time I was in Florida was for New Year's. As I said in the installment, I wrote about that trip (Florida For New Year's); on our first night in town, we all went out to a Solar Bears minor league hockey game. At some point during that game, Uncle Paul went to the bar to get a drink, and I joined him. The last time I had seen him before that was 2021, so we had a lot to catch up on.

“So, how have you been doing, Mitchell?” he asked.

I listed off a few things and then said, “... And I have a girlfriend now.”

“What's her name?” he asked again.

“Paige,” I replied.

He pretended to be really taken aback and then whispered to me, “You know, you have a cousin named Paige, right?” I laughed, and pointed out that Paige B has a brother named Austin. Uncle Paul chuckled and said, “Well, I have to meet her before things get too serious!”

As Paige mingled with my family, I thought back to that interaction with Paul. Even in the moment, I know Paul well enough to know that he was being a little jokey with his overprotectiveness, and I knew everyone would love Paige.  Still, Paige and I have entered a point in our relationship that I've only been able to imagine up to this point. We have now (more or less) met both sides of the other's family. Now we're closer to each other than we've ever been before. And that's kind of what I wanted this summer to be; a time for us to get closer as a couple while managing our roommate relationship.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 15: A Reunion Of Greattastic Proportion

 A Reunion Of Greattastic Proportion

In downtown Columbus, there is a place called COSI (Center of Science Industry). Every year on July 3rd, at 10:00 p.m., fireworks are launched from a spot near COSI in an event called Red, White, & Boom! My parents' art studio, Kobolt, is less than a mile from COSI, and every year, we have a party and watch fireworks from the roof. The week before Red, White & Boom, my family, and my cousin's family went to Norris Lake again, so the party was a lot more last minute this year.

Before we continue, I need to catch you up on the Andersons. As I've mentioned, I'm subleasing from Kid this summer because she was planning to spend it in Costa Rica. Well, Arden and Aspen went with her and were planning to spend the first two weeks with her. Unfortunately, Arden and Kid got bit by mosquitoes and got really sick. They are fine now, but because it was so bad, Kid cut her journey short and is now back in town.

I have been a bad friend this year. As I explained a few installments ago, because of how intense my job is, all the drama with Shane, and how stressed I was because of that, I had to work extra hard on my relationship with Paige, and I began slacking in my other relationships. Thanksgiving last year was the last time I saw Arden, Aspen, and Marshall. Finally, as I hinted at in my first book, The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child, the girls and my family had a complicated relationship in my childhood. While it has gotten better over the years, it has never not been awkward. On July 1st, 2024, Aspen texted me and asked if they were invited to Red, White & Boom at the studio, and I said yes.

At 6:00 p.m. on the 3rd, Paige and I drove to get two giant pizzas for the party. After a slight debacle with the pizzas because it was raining and I couldn't get them into my trunk (I'm not kidding; these things were huge), Paige and I drove to Kobolt. People started arriving around 6:45, but because of the rain and how rushed the party had been, not as many people came as usual. Around 9:15, Dad started taking people up to the roof in the scissor lift as the rain had stopped. I was upset because I was convinced my friends were not coming.

At 9:30, however, I got a text from Aspen saying they had arrived. Paige and I greeted them and discovered that Arden and Marshall got married! After congratulating them, we all went to the roof and watched the fireworks. After the fireworks, we convinced my brothers to come to a bar with us. Josh couldn't go because he's under age, and Arden was worried because she forgot her ID, and even though she had a picture of it, it's still her Colorado driver’s license. We decided to try it, but as we drove by, we saw a few police officers outside the bar and realized there was no way they would let Arden in.

We decided to go back to my parents' house, and Kid joined us there. The Andersons and Marshall spent the night talking with my brothers, my parents, Paige, and me about their adventures in Costa Rica and life in general. They all even ended up spending the night at my parents' house!

For the entire time that I was slacking on my other relationships, I've known that it was a problem. As I stated in the installment Emotional Reset, I needed the space from the Shane drama so that I could well… emotionally reset. After doing that, I knew I needed to start putting more work into my relationships. Not to say that any time I spend with the Andersons isn't amazing, but this event was so ridiculous and wholesome, not to mention entertaining, even though we weren't really doing anything… It was… well, Greattastic!

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 14: Blind Soccer Practice

 Blind Soccer Practice

As I have mentioned before, ever since I met Noah in the fall of 2019, it has been a dream of his to play on the National Blind Soccer team at the Paralympics in 2028. For the last few years, Noah has been on the team, and a few months ago, he became a 2024 Sport Ambassador for the United States Association of Blind Athletes (USABA). About 2 years ago Noah asked Luke to be a goalie for a game (goalies are sighted). I wrote an installment about that event called Blind Soccer.

There are a ton of camps throughout the entire year for the National Blind Soccer team. Noah injured his knee in early 2023, and then I pushed him a little too hard when Cousin Simple played the Newport shortly after that (Columbus Against The World). Because of that injury, Noah could not attend any of the camps last year, but he's feeling better now. The first camp in a year that Noah could go to was the first week of June, and he wanted to practice with my brothers, Paige and I before he went.

On Tuesday, June 4th, 2024, Paige and I got ready, called my brothers to decide on a place to meet, and then drove to pick up Noah at 7:30. I parked at the duck pond by my parents' house, and Ryan, Luke, and Josh walked into the parking lot just as we got out of my car. After everyone said hello, we walked to a park next to the duck pond.

Now, I’m not a big sports guy. Luke was only the goalie during the game I wrote about, and Ryan, Paige, and Josh weren't there, so Noah had to explain the rules. The soccer ball is basically a baby rattle, so whenever it's kicked, the beads move around so the players can hear where it is. Other than that, there are only two differences between blind soccer and the original game (at least for the sake of this installment). The first thing is that all players must say “Voy” over and over when they approach the ball. Secondly, if a player is about to pass the ball to someone, they need to call that person. For example, if I was going to pass to Noah, I would say: Noah! And he would respond: Noah here. And then I would kick the ball.

With those two stipulations in place, we ran a few drills and had a few mini scrimmages. As I said, I’m not a big sports guy, so I don’t think I’m super qualified to explain everything that we did, but we had a fun time and hopefully helped Noah prepare for his camp.

As you may know, last fall I finished my next two books. Because of complications with my mic. I’m about a month behind on this series, and at the time of this installment, my editor hadn’t gotten started yet. As a result, I’ve been very pent up for the last year since I couldn’t do anything with them.

I’ve published two books already, so I know that publishing a book is a lot of hard work, but I’ve felt very discouraged. But after watching Noah have this injury for a year and working through it to achieve his goal, he has inspired me to keep pushing through. I think people tend to want things done the quick and easy way, even though deep down, they know that's not the best option. When you get stuck in one of those moods, it's best to look to the people around you for encouragement.

Have a Greattastic Day and be Safe

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 13: Emotional Reset

 Season 7 Blog 13: Emotional Reset

Over the two weeks between when Paige and I moved in together and me releasing the The Truth About War Of The Roommates trilogy, a lot happened. Just to get this out of the way, I'm recording the podcast in my parents’ basement because it's impractical to record at Paige and Kid’s apartment just because it's right off of a busy street, and we're moving to another apartment in August anyway. Because it wasn't exactly how I usually had to set up, I stretched my mic too far while recording and accidentally damaged it, which is why it took two weeks.

The day after Paige and I moved in together, Sunday, May 19th, we went with my family to my cousins, the Mitrey’s House, to celebrate Nicholas' graduation from high school. We ate, played euchre with the cousins, and got ice cream.

Now, even though I moved out on the 18th, my lease with Shane was not up until the 31st. In other words, I was still tying up some loose ends throughout those first two weeks. I was dealing with some of those loose ends on Monday, May 20th, when my childhood neighbor, Greg, texted me. He said that he and his wife, Temi, and their daughter were in town for a week and asked if we wanted to meet up.

After some discussion with Paige, we decided to have Greg, Temi, the baby, Greg’s sister Melody, and her new husband Rob over to the apartment on Thursday, the 23rd. It was really cool because, while Paige had met everyone except for Temi before, it was at Melody and Rob's wedding, so they didn't really get to know her, and we finally got to meet the baby!

Memorial Day weekend was Paige's annual family pig roast, and it just so happened that one of her cousins got married over the weekend as well. On top of that, my grandpa, Pop-pop, his partner, Sara, and my cousin Austin were in town, so there were a few family dinners at my parents. Needless to say, we were very busy, but it was really fun to spend time with so much family. The following week was pretty much full of recovering from the weekend, finishing stuff up at my old apartment, and being slightly stressed because I was a week behind in this series.

I know that there was not a lot for me to write about for this installment, but that’s kind of the point. See, a relationship is hard work for anyone, not to mention someone with Autism. With how intense my job is, the drama with Shane, and how stressed I was, I had to work extra hard on my relationship with Paige, and as a result, I started slacking in my other relationships. Now that the war of the roommates saga is more or less behind me, I can finally take a breath and emotionally reset.

To that end, I have two general goals for this summer. 1. I want to work on my relationship with Paige while living together. 2. More to the point, but not completely unconnected, I want to take time for the other people in my life as well.

Have a Greattastic Day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri