Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 12: The Hand Of Fate Theory

 The Hand Of Fate Theory

As of the posting of this installment, Paige and I have been together for exactly 3 years! I only did an installment about our one-year anniversary. There are a couple of reasons for this. 1. On our actual 2-year anniversary, we only went out for dinner, and when we were going to celebrate, a week later, Arden came into town for the last time before her parents sold their house. 2. Knowing that I was going to get engaged within about a month of that anniversary, I knew our dating anniversary was not going to be as big a deal as our wedding anniversary, and it wouldn't get as much attention, after this year, anyway. I'm making a big deal about it this year because, with our wedding coming up, I wanted to bring up the biggest thing Paige and I have debated about: how our relationships started. For the sake of this installment, I am going to call the thing that we are debating The Hand Of Fate Theory.

 I developed my feelings for Paige at an ugly Christmas sweater party back in 2019. I didn't act on my feelings right away because our brothers were friends in high school, and even though they weren't that close anymore, it still felt like a weird violation of the bro code. As we got into Mom's car after the party, she said to Dad, “That Paige O’Brien is really cool!” Dad agreed, but I didn't say anything since I didn't want to give anything away.

In 2023, Cousin Simple played at Newport Music Hall, and when I was in the crowd before they started playing, Mom saw Paige with her parents. “You should go hang out with Mitchell!” Mom said to Paige.

“We're waiting on our drinks,” Paige replied.

So Mom waited for Paige to get her drink, dragged her to the crowd, and effectively threw Paige at me. Paige picked up on Mom's weird behavior and noticed my crush immediately as a result. In the installment that I initially wrote about this in (Not Just A Background Character), I depicted Mom as being moved by the hand of fate. Early on (and still in installments that dive super deep into our relationship), I would have Paige review the installment to see if she was okay with everything I said. After she read Not Just A Background Character and the other installments introducing her as my girlfriend, the only critique that she had was, “You know your mom knew, right?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You developed your crush on me at the ugly sweater party, right?” She asked.

“Yes?” I said, still confused.

“Did your mom say anything in the car?” she persisted.

“Yeah,” I replied, “she turned to Dad and said, ‘That Paige O’Brien is really cool!’”

“Mitchell,” she said with confidence, “she totally knew! She said that to your Dad to see if you would react!” 

I was not convinced, and we have been going back and forth about this ever since. There have been a couple of developments. My parents only found out about this debate after Paige and I got engaged, and Mom says that she didn't know, and Dad says that he is the one who suggested it to Mom that Paige should hang out with me, since she is shyer than me, and I do crowd work for Cousin Simple anyway. While Paige trusts my parents, this is literally the one thing that she does not believe them on! 

I kind of flip-flop between being for or against The Hand Of Fate Theory. I'm for it because, number one, that's what my parents are saying, and number two, I think Mom and Dad losing their free will for like a 5-minute period to get Paige and me together is a way better story. But on the flip side, I've never been good at hiding my emotions, and Paige and I talked for conservatively 15 minutes. Like they had to have known! Either way, my parents played a huge role in bringing us together, and they deserve some credit for the wedding next month!

Have A Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 11: Goodbye Gleason Road

Goodbye Gleason Road 

On Friday, March 6, 2026, I drove to Massey’s Pizza and picked up the half meat lovers, half mushroom and banana pepper pizza I had ordered for Shane and I. See, he is moving in with his fiancée Jessica shortly after Paige and my wedding. With wedding stuff picking up, for both of us, Shane and I wanted to get the apartment “send off” underway sooner rather than later. 

I walked into the apartment around 7:30, we said hi, and we started to eat and reminisce. “We had some good times,” I said with a smile.

“Yes, we sure did,” he replied, “do you remember the helicopter?”

While I hadn’t forgotten, it wasn’t something that I think about that often. That story begins in July 2022, when Shane orchestrated a meeting between myself, both our parents, and his staff coordinator, Nancy, to help solve the issues that Shane and I were having at the time. After the meeting, Nancy gave Shane and I two tickets to the Ohio State fair.

Now, around the same time of that meeting, I had matched with a girl on a dating app named Lauren. I’ve already written about that entire fiasco, but basically, she and I went on a date, and she orchestrated a weird The Bachelorette situation between me and another guy she was seeing at the time. Then, when that inevitably blew up, my “sisters” convinced me to start working on myself before I started dating again. Shane and I ended up going to the fair, between Lauren and my date and the Andersons, convincing me to work on myself.

Now it goes without saying that Lauren is not my soulmate, but at this point, Paige was just a family friend who I had (what I thought was) a childish crush on. So, at this time, while I already knew my future wife, my anxiety about not finding someone paired with the other guy situation, put me in a very toxic mindset.

We arrived at the fair at around 5:00 on Saturday, August 13, 2022. I had gone to the fair growing up, but all I remembered about it was going down the big slides. After Shane and I walked into the fair, we made our way to the skyride.

While we were in the air, we heard a helicopter above us. We watched as it circled the fair and landed on the side we were heading to. We did a few other things that I can’t quite remember now, but when we had done everything else we wanted to, we got in line for the helicopter.

About an hour later, it was finally our turn. The man who was at the gate let us in, and we watched as it landed in front of us. We climbed in, I sat in the front, and Shane sat in the back, and we took off. As we ascended, I looked at the Columbus skyline. I had seen it before from airplanes, but that was always in passing. I had never flown specifically to see the skyline, and it was breaking!

As I thought back on this experience from Shane’s apartment, I smiled. See, I’m bringing Lauren up for two very specific reasons. 1. I’m planning on using her in a later installment for a narrative purpose (bear with me, that will make sense when we get to it). 2. The Other Guy situation works as a great allegory for my most recent thoughts on the War Of The Roommates. While Shane and I have remained friends, post living together, as I’ve depicted, our time living together was not ideal. I think my biggest problem with writing about War Of The Roommates so openly is now when I think back on my time living with Shane, I view it as overall negative. But it wasn’t all bad. Shane and I still had some good times in the Gleason Road apartment, even though our fights were overshadowing them. Just like how even when I was stressing over the Other Guy Situation, Shane and I were able to see this amazing view from a helicopter!

Have a Greattastic Day and Be Safe

J. Mitchie Ulibarri SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 10.5: Groomsman 2

 Groomsmen 2

As I said in Snowmageddon, I spent my week off because of the blizzard doing a ton of writing. On one of the days, not sure which one, as they all kinda bled together, I was writing at Crimson Cup. Crimson Cup is within a half mile of Gleason Road, where Shane lives. Shane has been wanting me to help him with a writing project for years, and because I was so close, I decided to head over.

When I got there, and we greeted each other, he asked me about wedding plans. Once I had caught him up on mine, I asked him about his (he has been engaged to his fiancée, Jessica, since 2022). “Actually,” he said, “a lot has happened…” It turns out they had landed on a date for this fall, and he is moving out of the Gleason Road apartment in May.

“Am I invited to the wedding?” I asked, aware that with the logistics of wedding planning that I might not be. 

“It’s going to be a surprise,” he said. Seeing the confusion on my face, he continued, “It’ll be a surprise because I was going to ask if you maybe wanted to be a groomsman?” 

“Of course!” I said.

As we continued to talk, we decided to do a “send off” of the apartment on March 6th.

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 10: Dayton

 Dayton

My mom’s college roommate was a woman named Shannon. While I wrote about her once in my books, within this series, she and her husband, Tim, have only appeared in Cousin Simple-themed installments (Columbus Against The World, Full Circle, and Not Just A Background Character, which mostly takes place during Columbus Against The World). Both of the shows depicted in those installments took place in Columbus. On Friday, February 27, 2026, Cousin Simple had their first show in Dayton, where Shannon and Tim live.

At around 7:10, Mom, Dad, Josh, Paige, my friend Elana, her sister Jenna (who also happened to go to school with Paige), and I walked into a pizza shop called Oregon Express. Shannon, Tim, Ryan, Luke, Will, and Dave were already there at a table. Full Circle happened two years ago, so before the show started, we spent our time catching up with Shannon and Tim. 

In my head, I’ve broken up Cousin Simple’s discography into 4 eras. The classic/nostalgic era (from their first album, And We Would Never End, to their first two singles, This Is A Robbery and Rockstar). The First Singles Era (their second two singles, Honeybee and Star Destroyers, and their Christmas song, Laughing All The Way). The Second Singles Era (which is most of their remaining singles, We Know, Boy.Girl, Let’s Be Together, You Want It You Got It, Chapstick, All My Movies, Fast Lane, and Candlelight). Finally, the EP (current modern) Era, (their last three singles, Vacation (Taylor Swift), Prima Donna (single version), and Long Way (single version), and their EPs, Sugarcoat, Part Time Job, and You Don’t Have To Sing Along).

The first band that played was a screamo band, and before they went on, the tables were moved so people could dance. Once the first band was finished, Elana and I made our way to the front of the crowd. There was a girl at the front in a We Know shirt. As I always do, I walked up to her to do some crowd work.

“How long have you known the band?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m here for the next band,” she replied, thinking that I was asking about the screamo band. Once I explained the connection, we talked for about a minute, and Cousin Simple started playing. After the first song, I looked to my right and saw Paige and Jenna.

There are two things about Paige you should know. 

1. She hates to be the center of attention.

2. She has never come to the front of a Cousin Simple crowd with me.

When I saw her, I smiled, and she knew it was because she was at the front with me. Because she doesn’t like being the center of attention, she jokingly gave me a glare. I responded, “I love you,” with a chuckle. Unfortunately, the girl in the We Know shirt was standing between Paige and me, and because we had talked, she assumed that I was telling her I loved her.

Elena, who saw the whole thing, laughed. “Oh my gosh,” she said, “ you do get yourself into these awkward situations! I thought you were just making them up.”

I laughed. I was once told by a mentor, “Mitchell, you are the best person to have an awkward moment with.” I’ve always been a people person, and I’ve learned that despite the negative connotation of the word, I’ve always taken that quote to heart. Nothing is inherently good or bad; it’s about how you use it. I might be awkward, but I’m awkward with confidence!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 9.5: Rambling House

 Rambling House

Elena Collins was a classmate and friend of S.M. and mine, and for a very brief time, a coworker of mine at Kroger. We reconnected at Thread of Hope last October, and I found out that she’s been following me since I started the podcast, because her niece was diagnosed with Autism in November 2019. This was depicted in the installment Elena. The day after Thread of Hope, Paige and I went to a Cousin Simple show in New York, spent the day after the show exploring the city, and then got trapped in Orlando because we missed our connecting flight (A Quick Trip To NYC Parts 1, 2, and 3).

On Monday, October 27, 2025, as I drove into work late after getting home from Florida, Elana texted me to ask if we could meet up for coffee, as we had discussed at Thread of Hope. On Wednesday, the 29th, at 4:00, we met at Crimson Cup and talked about life.  Specifically, a major loss that she went through recently, and the events of my weekend in New York. As a result of this series and her knowledge of both Box Seats and Cousin Simple, she told me to let her know next time they had a show. 

On Friday, February 20th, 2026, my parents, Ryan, Elana, Paige, and I walked into a bar called Rambling House, where Box Seats was opening for another band. They started at 9:00, and they played 3 new songs! At the end of the show, I asked Elena how she liked it.

“It was awesome,” she replied, “now I just need to see Cousin Simple!”

“Actually,” I said, “they are playing a show in Dayton next week!”

“Sweet!” Elana said. Then after a pause, she asked, “Do you think you get a ticket for me and my sister Jenna? With the anniversary coming up…  I think it would be good for her to get out of town.” 

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 9: A Gregtastic Surprise

 A Gregtastic Surprise

As I’ve mentioned before, Greg Parker was my childhood neighbor on the other side of my parents' house from the Andersons, and he is my “brother” in the same way they are my “sisters.” The last time I saw him was when he, his wife, Temi, and their daughter (who we will call Blessing) came to visit us two years ago.

After our dinner at North Star, Arden drove Paige and me back to Summit Crest. We were back inside by 8:00. At 8:06, Greg texted me, “Yo, I’m in town till Monday. Want to get a drink?” I immediately called him, and eventually we decided to go to Old North Arcade the next day.

At 3:00 p.m. on Sunday, February 15, 2026, Greg picked Paige and me up, and we drove to the arcade. As we got in the car, we said hi and gave him his and Temi’s invite for our wedding. I couldn’t help but feel déjà vu from 24 hours before. 

When we walked into the arcade, Greg was clearly awestruck. “Have you really never been here?” I asked.

“No,” he replied with a chuckle. It made sense. I hadn’t discovered the arcade until about 9 months after his wedding, and he met Temi in college. He definitely wasn’t going to find a local bar in high school.

After getting our drinks and sitting down, Paige started digging for embarrassing childhood stories. This led us to talk about my imaginary girlfriend, Christina. While she appears in The Greattastic Adventures 2: Fractured and was “reincarnated” as Natalie in the Season 1 finale in this series, in both cases, I used her for very specific narrative reasons. In other words, Christina's “life” was a little more far-reaching than it was written in the book.

At the end of that conversation, we started playing some of the arcade games. We played Qbert, Super Mario Kart, Asteroids, and a few others. Greg and I specifically played a game of air hockey, and I think this is the only thing that I’ve ever beaten him at. When he dropped us back off at Summit Crest around 5:50, he told Paige, “Congratulations on not being imaginary!”

We got out of his car, and we waved as he drove away. Greg went to Cornell in 2016, and since then, I have only written about him 6 times. The first time is in Greattastic Adventurers 3 (which admittedly has not been published yet; I will do an update soon). His next appearance chronologically is the Season 4 installment, Groomsman (which is about him coming to town and asking me to be in his wedding). Then I did a three-part installment about his wedding, and in Season 5, I wrote an installment called Maintaining The Empire about him and me catching up after not seeing each other since the wedding. In Season 7, I wrote about his sister’s wedding, and then I wrote about when he, Temi, and Blessing came to visit (Emotional Reset). 

I’m bringing up his previous appearances because, outside of my next book, up to this point, Greg has only come back to Columbus for, or because of, a special event. The difference between Greg and, say, the Andersons is that, while we have remained at the same level of friend and they are all in different phases of life than I am, the Andersons and I have still grown together, whereas Greg is off in his own bubble. This is the first time since he got married that he and I have been able to be friends in person in normal circumstances, and I hope to continue this going forward!

Have a Greattastic day and day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT 

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 8: The Valentine’s Day Special (Test)

 The Valentine’s Day Special (Test)

I have a theory. It's been a theory I’ve held for the last couple of years, probably ever since I started working at New Story. Astrologically speaking, winter starts a few days before Christmas and lasts about 12 or 13 weeks. There are seven weeks between Christmas and Valentine’s Day. In other words, Valentine's Day is approximately halfway through winter. My theory is that the best way to fight seasonal depression (barring the eradication of daylight saving time) is to make Valentine's Day more of a Christmas-esque holiday as opposed to a Hallmark one, so people have something to look forward to.

Friday, February 12th, 2026, was a Teacher Work Day. When I was at lunch, Arden texted me and asked what Paige and I were doing that weekend. I told her that we didn’t really have any plans, and she said she was thinking about coming up. On Valentine’s Day, I got up, wished Paige a happy Valentine’s Day, recorded the podcast version of Michelle, and read the first chapter of a book a family member wrote (we will come back to that eventually), as we waited for Arden to arrive.

At 3:30, Arden texted to let us know she had pulled into Summit Crest Apartments, and we went out to meet her. After we said hi, and we  gave her her wedding invite, Arden drove us to a little coffee shop she and I used to frequent as teenagers, called The Coffee Hub. The last time I was there was in 2019, so I was expecting it to look a little different, but they had completely remodeled it, so it was almost a totally different shop!

After that, we went to a new thrift shop that a new friend Arden made told her about. On the drive there, we went through Meadow Park Drive and drove past her childhood home. “It’s so sad,”  Arden said.

“I know,” I replied, “ I haven’t been able to look at the house when I go to my parents’ place, since they (her parents) moved.”

 When we got to the new thrift shop, I had to use the bathroom almost immediately. When I was done, I saw Arden and Paige in one of the aisles. When I was younger, I would go thrifting with the Andersons, and I would sneak under the clothing rack and scare them by grabbing their ankles. Old habits die hard.

After the thrift shop, we went to North Star for dinner. During that dinner, I explained my Valentine’s Day theory and proposed that, as a group, we start celebrating Valentine’s Day together from now on!

Have a Greattastic day and day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT