Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 8: Spring Break 2024 Part 2: Totality

 Spring Break 2024 Part 2: Totality

In part 1, I said my spring break lasted until April 8th. That wasn’t 100% true. That day was the day of the solar eclipse, and I had an online work meeting from 8:30 to 10:30, then I had the rest of the day off. Now, you might recall back in July 2020, there was a comet called NOEWISE that passed by Earth. I’m not super interested in big solar events, but I enjoyed seeing NOEWISE with my family because we were in the heat of the pandemic, and that event was a pretty cool distraction. I thought that the eclipse was going to be very similar but without the backdrop of a global pandemic to elevate how cool it was.

On Saturday the 6th, Paige and I left the cabin in Hocking Hills and drove back to Columbus. When we got to my parents' house, Mom asked, “What are you guys doing for the eclipse?”

“We were going to watch it downtown, so I was going to stay at her apartment because of traffic,” I replied.

“Well, we're planning on going to the Mitrey’s house because they'll be in totality,” Mom explained.

After my meeting on Monday, Paige and I went to my parents' house. My parents, Ryan, Luke, and Josh, got there around noon, and by 12:30, we were on our way. When we got to their house, the Mitreys (Aunt Melissa, Uncle Andy, Alex, Maci, Nicholas, and Ellie), were making a charcuterie board, and other food, with three of Maci’s sorority sisters. By 1:30, Aunt Cyndi, her kids, Caitlynn and Cameron, my Grandpa and Nana, and one of Andy’s co-workers, Erin, had arrived.

The eclipse started around 1:50. Everyone started going outside at that time, and we periodically put our glasses on and looked up. Right away, I thought I was right because it wasn’t living up to all the hype. That's not to say we weren’t having fun together; it’s just that the first hour was no different than any other family gathering.

Somewhere between 2:50 and 2:55, everyone who was there stood on the back steps to get a group picture. We wanted two group pictures; one without the glasses and the other picture with them. Getting those two pictures exactly how Mom and Melissa wanted them took 5-7 minutes. Now just something to know about my family, we tend to hate group pictures. Pictures, in general, are fine, but trying to get everyone to just stand there and get the pictures done so that the moms are happy with it is very frustrating. We were all complaining so much that we didn't realize how dark it was getting until the pictures were done.

I'm just estimating, but I'd say at this point we were at about like 97% totality, so it looked like it was dusk. Over the next 10 minutes, we watched as the moon took over the last bit of the sun. Language is funny…there are some emotions and experiences that are limitless, but humans aren’t, and as a result, language can’t often describe something that is.

As of the posting of this installment, it has been almost two weeks since the eclipse, and despite how much I have thought about it, I don’t think I will ever be able to accurately describe how amazing it was! It was not, as I expected, slightly boring without a global pandemic to elevate it. All I can say is that the stillness at the moment of totality was something I have never experienced, and it is something I will remember for the rest of my life!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 7: Spring Break 2024 Part 1: Paige And My 1-Year Anniversary

 Spring Break 2024 Part 1: Paige And My 1-Year Anniversary

Hey everyone! It's been a while. The last installment I made was about Melody and Rob's wedding. The wedding was on March 2nd, and this installment is being posted on April 13th. A lot has come up over this last month, and I will be addressing it in some upcoming installments. The reason for the gap is not important for this installment. However, the gap in and of itself is…

My spring break was from Friday, March 29th, to Monday, April 8th. Now, April 4th just happened to be Paige and my 1-year anniversary. Originally, over my spring break, I wanted to take a trip to Florida so she could meet my family and we could still have the weekend to enjoy our anniversary. However, Paige's spring break started on the Monday after Melody and Rob’s wedding, so we decided to go on a weekend trip to Hocking Hills, which is about an hour southeast of Columbus.

I picked Paige up from Columbus State on Thursday the 4th; we got her bags and drove to Hocking Hills. The cabin we stayed at was owned by Lazy Lane Cabins, and it was called Castaway. After getting the keys we drove the half mile to where Castaway was. About halfway down the road that Castaway was on, it turned into a ravine with two forested hills on either side. On the left-hand hill was a steep gravel path, and the Castaway cabin was in the middle of the forest at the end of the path. It was romantic and secluded… in spite of the minor horror movie vibes.

The cabin itself was super homey. There was a hot tub on the front porch, though Paige and I had not noticed it and did not bring swimsuits. There were three rooms in the cabin, a living room/kitchen with a TV, a bedroom, and a bathroom. It was freezing cold when we got in there, so we immediately turned on the heat. After looking around, we realized we still needed a few essentials, so I drove on my own to a Kroger 13 minutes away, knowing that Paige would definitely get car sick if she came with me. By the time I got back, the cabin was really warm. We spent the night eating dinner and watching TV before we went to bed.

On Friday, we got up and ate breakfast. I got us coffee while Paige worked on an essay, and by the time she finished, it was time for lunch. After lunch, we started working on an outline for another book. Side note, I'm kind of mad that it took me a year to start utilizing her as a writing partner; she's really good at it. After we finished working on the outline for the day, we went to Old Man's Cave.

Now, for those of you who are not local to Ohio, Old Man's Cave is a really popular part of Hocking Hills State Park. It's named that because a hermit named Richard Rowe lived there back in the 1800s. I've been there a handful of times throughout my life, and Paige went there once when she was little. As we walked through this area I'd seen before, it was like I was seeing it for the first time.

I've been super stressed pretty much since September of last year when I finished writing the rough draft of my fourth book (A Writer's Place). I think that's because I have spent nearly 7 years motivated to get those books done, and now that Greattastic Adventures 2 and 3 are in my editor's hands, there is nothing I can do. My motivation isn't what it used to be. Plus, with trying to start a non-profit, work, and life in general, I don't know…I've just been off.

While I tend to have multiple gaps between installments per season, I think this is the most significant one that has ever happened, excluding the pandemic-related lockdown between seasons 2 and 3. Usually, the gaps happen because I’m waiting for something that is blog/podcast-worthy. But with all the stress that has been going on, I haven’t been feeling myself and it really hit after the wedding. But this cabin trip was exactly the break I needed; it recharged me, and I’m ready to get back on track!

To Be Continued…

Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 6: Melody And Rob's Wedding

 Melody And Rob's Wedding

As you may recall, back in June of 2021, I was a groomsman in my childhood neighbor Greg's wedding (Groomsmen, Can You Please Teach Me How To Dance, & Greg's Wedding Parts 1, 2, and 3). At that time, I had just recently started dating Ishana. Now, Greg and his sister Melody had never met any of my previous girlfriends, so the fact that I was in a relationship was a huge topic of conversation with the wedding party during the wedding weekend. Because Melody was the only bridesmaid that I really knew on any level, we were seated at the same table during the reception.

After Greg and his bride, Temi had their first dance, but before the speeches began, Melody suggested that we should go on a double date when we got back to Columbus. I ended up breaking up with Ishana shortly thereafter, so the double date didn't happen. Melody and I finally met up about 9 months later (early March 2022), and she introduced me to her boyfriend, Rob. Over the last two years, I have become good friends with Rob, and I will see Melody and Rob at some of their church events, or we will get something to eat. Now over the last year, while I have talked to Melody, Rob, and Greg about Paige, none of them had met her. So while I was excited when I got invited to Melody and Rob’s wedding, I was extra excited when I found out Paige was allowed to come.

Last Saturday, March 2nd, 2024, Mom dropped Paige and me off at the venue at about 4:00 p.m. The ceremony started at 4:30 and after everyone processed in I experienced one of the most beautiful sights I've ever witnessed. I mentioned that Melody, Rob, and I will see each other, but we have individual friendships. Like Melody and I have known each other for years, Rob and I will hang out on our own, so when I see them together, it's like, “Hey, it's Rob… and oh my gosh, Melody!” Obviously I knew that they were dating, but because I'm not part of their relationship and we have slightly separate friendships, it was always like a background fact. I hope I explained that well. I’m honestly not sure if I did. Anyway, seeing the faith that they have in God and how much they love each other was incredibly beautiful!

During the reception, I Introduced Paige to Greg, his and Melody’s little brother, Nathan, and their mom. When Greg figured out who she was, a look of pure glee fell across his face, and he said, “Let me know if you want to hear any embarrassing stories about 10-year-old Mitchell.” He then proceeded to tell her my deepest darkest secret, and now she will never stop making fun of me. Eventually, Paige introduced herself to Melody and Rob, and I was really happy that everyone finally got to meet her!

Now, as you might know from my first book, The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child, growing up, Melody and I were barely friends. Admittedly, in the book and its upcoming sequels, I had to cut out most of our relationship, but generally speaking, Greg was always my friend, and Melody was always my “sister” Aspen’s friend. I've always taken the stance that if I'm writing about you, I love you… I'm a storyteller; it's the highest form of respect I can give you. But the love that I had for “Young Melody'' was always just an extension of my love for Aspen or Greg. And even her and Aspen's friendship eventually fizzled out. Once Greg went off to college and Melody moved off of Meadow Park Drive, I honestly never thought I would see her again.

I was super proud to be a groomsman at Greg's wedding. As a kid, I was never the kindest person to him and the fact that he chose me to be in his wedding party in spite of that is something that I will never stop being thankful for. In that same vein, I'm so thankful that I reconnected with Melody, and she introduced me to Rob. They're not people who I ever would have imagined being in my adult life, but I am so thankful that they are and I'm so glad that we are close enough that they invited me to be part of their special day.

Congratulations, Melody and Rob, I can't wait to see what Greatastic things come next for you!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 5: 6 Degrees Of Separation

 6 Degrees Of Separation

In very basic terms, the theory of six degrees of separation states that any one person is six connections (or less) away from anyone else. To be fair, in the age of social media, it's probably more like three connections or less, but I digress. I tend to abuse the law of six degrees of separation. We'll come back to that later, but I was once described by a friend as someone who “knows everybody on a ‘I know a guy through a guy’ basis.”

On President's Day, August drove me to the Denver Airport to catch my flight back to Columbus. I'm just going to take a moment to say something that I've never had a chance to before. I don't get super overstimulated as often as the media portrays autistic individuals getting overstimulated. Yeah some bright lights affect me, and my hearing has been a bit more sensitive since my surgery, but the only thing that actually consistently overstimulates me, to the point of an Autism meltdown (besides conflict), is airport security. Like having only flown in a post 911 world, I completely understand the need for security, but I do want to cry every time I go through.

Anyways, once I had gotten through security (finally) I found my gate. Now, I had to be at work by 8:00 the next morning. My flight was scheduled to get into Columbus at 11:00 p.m., Ohio time. And let's be honest, it was probably going to be delayed a little bit. Knowing that there was no way I would have time to eat when I got home, I searched around the airport to find a snack. Once I got back to my gate, I saw a woman that I thought I recognized.

When I was in grade school at Our Lady of Peace (OLP), I had a classmate who we're going to call Evan Hahn. Evan had an older sister, and she was like one or two grades above us. This woman had a striking resemblance to Evan’s sister. So I walked up, sat down next to her, and asked, “Hi, my name is Mitchell. Do you happen to know Evan Hahn?”

“Hi Mitchell, I’m Lindsay! Yeah, I know him!” she replied.

“Are you his sister?” I pressed.

“Haha, no,” she continued. “I went to high school with him.”

I knew a ton of people who went to high school with Evan. This includes my friend, Anna, and a ton of other people from OLP, August, and Arden (for a brief period of time), two of my girlfriend Paige's cousins, my childhood neighbor Greg, and a handful of others. As Lindsay and I continued our conversation, I found out that she knew pretty much everyone just listed, either from church, grade, middle, or high school, or just because their parents were friends. I also found out that she was really good friends with some of the families of my friends who died during the events of, Once In A Lifetime: A Song For Sam. I also found out that the reason she had been in Colorado was because she had had a business trip the week before. 

As I said earlier, I feel like I’ve abused the six degrees of separation law in my life. Here are a few examples: My roommate Shane and I grew up three streets away from each other and went to the same preschool and high school before we met. My friend Noah's soccer coach, Katie, knew one of my teaching mentors, Mr. Livingston, worked with my public speaking mentor Dr. Brooks, and obviously knows Noah. Mom went to high school with a woman named Jo Hannah, who happens to be a big name in the special education world in Ohio, and I have done some work with her! And finally the only reason Paige and I know each other is because our brothers went to school together, and as a weird little cherry on top we just found out fairly recently that our moms had the same major and were in college classes together!

I don't think I will ever meet Lindsay again. We have been on the outskirts of each other's lives for about 20 years, for the majority of that time we have been within a 10 mile radius of each other, and it took us being 1,264 miles away from home to actually meet. But I think our meeting teaches a good lesson. So many things had to happen for this meeting to pan out the way it did:

Firstly in the early 2000s, I had to meet Evan and know of his sister. In the summer of 2019, Arden had to move to Colorado, and Nicholas had to pop my eardrum. In 2021, August had to follow in Arden's footsteps and move to Colorado. I had to get the worst ear infection of my life in 2022 as a result of that eardrum injury, and that led me to try to figure out what was wrong. At the same time as the ear infection, August had to break up with her ex-boyfriend Ben, start dating her current husband Daniel, and she had to get pregnant at the beginning of 2023. I had to get my ear surgery, exactly a month after Emerald was born, and I had to misunderstand that I couldn't fly for 7 weeks, so I bought my ticket for President's Day weekend as opposed to Martin Luther King Day weekend. Then Lindsay had to be assigned the business trip, make the decision to stay for the weekend, and get the exact same flight home that I did. Yes, Lindsay and I made choices, but most of them were in reaction to things that were happening around us. I guess what I'm saying is sometimes you just need to go with the flow and eventually you will end up exactly where you need to be.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 4: Introducing Emerald (Part 2)

 Introducing Emerald

On the night of October 15th, 2023, my “sister” August, who was nine months pregnant at the time, sat in a movie theater in Colorado watching Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour.  Her new husband, Daniel, was working, so she was alone. Knowing that my other “sisters,” Arden and Aspen, and I saw Taylor Swift when she came to Cincinnati (Rules for a Greattastic Life (Taylor's Version)), she imagined me in the chair next to her freaking out while watching the movie. It would have been so fun to see her live, she thought.

The next day, August called me, and we talked for about an hour and a half. “I can't believe you're having the baby next week!” I said.

“I know,” she replied. “When are you going to come out and meet her?” 

“Well, I'm speaking at OCALICONLINE again next month,” I explained, “and then Thanksgiving is the next week, and then I have my ear surgery, so… realistically, it won't be till next year.”

“Ugh. Well, you better come out as soon as possible!” August ordered

The baby was about a week late. I’m not going to go into too much detail for obvious reasons, but in the early morning of October 31, 2023, August gave birth to a baby girl. She was named Emerald McGowan. 

Last Friday, February 16th, 2024, my plane landed at Denver Airport, and August, Daniel, and Emerald picked me up. We got to their apartment about an hour later, and after having some dessert, we went to bed.

The next day, August and I got up around 11:00, had breakfast and coffee, got Emerald ready, and went hiking at Eldorado Canyon State Park. That night, Daniel‘s mom came over to watch Emerald while August, Daniel, and I went to a place called Bounce Empire. It’s basically just a bunch of bounce houses. Daniel works there, and after 10 PM, it’s for adults.

When I got back from Mass on Sunday, August, Emerald and I went to Red Rocks, which is a concert venue that’s built into a mountain. Despite having been to Colorado five times before, I had never been to Red Rocks. Emerald had not gotten a lot of sleep, so instead of using the baby harness, we kept her in her car seat in the stroller.

As we walked around Red Rocks, we eventually found ourselves at a set of stairs that led down to the stage. I’m a klutz so as August and I carried the stroller down, with Emerald still inside, I was being very careful. It was super crowded because it was Presidents’ Day weekend, and so we were creating a line. The social awkwardness of the situation made both of us bust out laughing. The best part was people were assuming that I was the father, so everyone was pretty concerned that two crazy people were raising a baby.

Now August is not my first peer to have a baby. As I've mentioned a few times, my cousin Paige had her first baby last June, and actually, August and my childhood neighbor Greg and his wife Temi had their first baby last month! A few of my middle and high school classmates had teen pregnancies, and my former coworker, Carly, is currently pregnant with her third child. There are a couple more examples, but my point is the teen pregnancies were not people I was super close with, Carly was already a mom when I met her, I don’t see Paige super often and Temi got pregnant after August did. In other words, August is my first peer that is a major fixture in my life that became a first time parent during our relationship.

Throughout our entire relationship, I have never been able to imagine August as a mother… to be fair, up until her pregnancy, she couldn’t either. And because she is my first major peer to become a first-time parent, when I left Columbus, I didn’t know what to expect. I don’t think I was expecting her to be a bad mom, but actually seeing her as a mom was surreal because she is so good at the job.

Emerald- it was so nice to meet you, I can't wait to see what Greattastic things life has in store for you. Love your “uncle”

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 3: The Anderson Women (Part 1)

 The Anderson Women

As many of you know, I grew up next door to four girls. Their names are August (McGowan), Arden, Aspen, and Arlo “Kid” Anderson. As I depicted in my first book, The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child, our families were really close at first, but then we started fighting. I thought that the girls were bullying me, and the girls thought that I was bullying them… If I'm being completely honest, there was fault on both sides. In seventh grade, I lied to them and told them I needed to make a movie for school because I wanted them to be my friends again, but I didn't know how to ask them without lying. While the girls did feel betrayed because I lied to them after we dealt with those feelings, we became inseparable, and in the present day, I see them as my “sisters.”

On Thursday, February 15th, my brothers, Paige and I, had dinner at my parents’ house with our other neighbors, Steven and Robin. Paige and I got there around 7:00, and Mom asked us to get the Chinese food at 7:30. Now, Dad and Josh really like hunting for Treasure with metal detectors. When we got back to my parents’ house, everyone told me that there was something they wanted me to see.

Josh had been using the metal detector, and he had found the back of a ceramic child’s teapot. My entire family and Stephen and Robin were all asking me variations of, “Do you know what that is?”

Based on what everyone told me and what I know about my younger self, this is what happened. There are a line of trees between my parent’s backyard and Stephen and Robin’s. August, Arden, Aspen, and possibly our other neighbor, Melody, were having a tea party under the trees. I got upset because my sworn enemies were in my territory. When I demanded that they leave, and they refused, I smashed the teapot, leading to yet another Anderson/Mitchell fight.

Now, most of that last paragraph is guesswork. All that I actually know is that I broke the teapot. I have asked my “sisters” about this event, and like me, none of them remember it, but based on everyone’s reaction at dinner, this was clearly a major event in my childhood. This could be because we fought so much growing up that all of them have all blurred together, but I believe that this shows how much we have grown.

The name of this season is To Be An Advocate in reference to me, wanting to start a nonprofit to expand my advocacy. Still, I think it’s important to point out that throughout our friendship, my “sisters” have become amazing autism advocates, especially in comparison to when we were little. All this to say I am proud of the women that they have become.

Kid is currently living with Paige and is making plans to travel this summer. Aspen just recently achieved the goal of becoming a realtor in the Cincinnati area. Arden is now a travel nurse and will be spending the next few months in Nashville. And August…well, August is a mom!

To Be Continued…

Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 2: Full Circle

 Full Circle

Friday, January 19th, 2024 happened to be a snow day. This made the day doubly great because not only was I able to hang out with Paige pretty much all day, but my brother Ryan's band Cousin Simple, had released their new EP Sugarcoat at midnight that day and I got to listen to it a lot more than I would have gotten to if I had to work. The following Monday, January 22, 2024, Will/Hash (frontman), Ryan (lead guitar), my other brother Luke (rhythm guitar & bass), and Dave (drums) left Columbus for a two week tour with a band called Wild Party.

The tour started in Memphis, Tennessee, they made about ten stops on the way to Canada, and the last show was scheduled for Saturday, February 10th, at Skully's Music Diner. Now that's really cool because Cousin Simple won a battle of the bands competition 7 years ago and that is what put them on the map. The final part of the battle of the bands competition was held at Skully's!

On Saturday, February 10, 2024, Paige and I got to my parents' house with the pizzas Mom had ordered around 6:30 PM. When we walked in we were greeted by my parents, my cousin Austin, Mom’s college roommate, Shannon and her husband Tim, our family friends Kristin and Tim (I know, it’s confusing), and Shannon‘s mother-in-law. After we ate and caught up for about an hour, we all headed to Skully’s.

We walked into the bar and I was pleasantly surprised that the floor was not as sticky as I remembered it being. I lost my group while buying a drink, but I found Paige and Austin at the back of the crowd right before Cousin Simple started playing.

Two or three songs in, Paige noticed the rest of our group standing next to my cousin's family, the Mitreys (Aunt Melissa, Uncle Andy, Alex, and his girlfriend, Emma, and Maci), by the side of the stage. We moved over there, and after saying hi, I noticed that one of Ryan‘s classmates’ siblings, Gabe, was standing right at the front of the crowd, and from that angle, I could make it to him. So at the first chance I got, I made my way through the crowd to the very front!

Later, as he does at nearly every show Will jumped into the crowd. The entire crowd converged on him, and because I was upfront, I got crushed. I bobbed and weaved so that I didn’t get trampled. When Will returned to the stage, and things had calmed down, I turned around and found myself staring at my brother Josh and his and Luke’s band mates from Box Seats, Freddie and Max!

After Cousin Simple finished playing Wild Party took the stage. They put on a really good show, although I had only heard one of their songs before. The boys have been on one major tour before, but I’m very happy for them because 1. They had a good time with Wild Party and 2. The tour ended with this full circle moment!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

You can listen to Cousin Simple’s new Ep Sugarcoat on Spotify and wherever you find your music!