Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 15: The Bachelor Party, Part 3

 The Bachelor Party, Part 3

When we returned to Bachelor Cabin from Conkles Hollow,we played some games for about an hour.  At the end of that hour, we started to make dinner. There was a Blue Jackets game that night, and Noah is an avid follower. He has a portable radio that he brings with him to listen to games, and when the game started, he turned it on. When dinner was finished, Nicholas suggested that we turn on the TV. 

Now, I have never been a major sports person. Paige is strong-arming me a little bit into it, but basically, until we started dating, I was very against it. The exception being Blue Jackets hockey. In my opinion, hockey doesn't require your undivided attention, in comparison to something like football (especially when your main experience with that is the Buckeyes). In other words, going to a Hockey game is more of a social experience, in comparison to other sports. However, watching the hockey game on TV kind of takes that aspect out of it, so after I finished dinner, I went out onto the balcony.

Austin and my brothers were playing a game, and as I looked over the balcony, I saw Ryan and Brennan coming out of the forest directly behind the Bachelor Cabin. Austin told me, “After we're done with this game, we're going to go down and explore.”

I was a little bit too impatient and decided to go down on my own. It's really hard to describe this forest, as the path is very ill-defined, and the rest of it is not very well-maintained. There's only one real defining feature. If you're looking out from Bachelor Cabin on the left-hand side, there's a series of cliffs and a ravine directly below. From Bachelor Cabin, I ran alone directly into the ravine.

It took me, I don’t know, three minutes maybe, to get to the lowest point of the ravine. It was so quiet. I don't think I can accurately describe the level of silence that I heard. It was just nothing. It was as if someone had turned the volume knob down to zero in that area. I don't think I've ever experienced that level of Zen.

After they finished their game, Austin, Ryu, Luke, and Josh called down to me from the cliffs. I climbed up, and once I got to them, we hiked over the cliffs and through a couple of caves until I found a cliff that offered a good view of the sunset. About 10 minutes after we got there, Will arrived, and shortly after, Noah called me. I returned to Bachelor Cabin to get him.

When Noah and I returned to the cliff, we sat and chatted as the day turned to night. As I explained in the first episode of this season, even before Paige and I started dating, I knew I was going to call the season in which I get married, The Age Of Weddings, and I clarified that I had an unrealistic view of wedding planning. It's so much more stressful than I thought it would be before Paige and I got engaged. But what I've learned throughout this experience is that the stress doesn't matter. At the end of the day, weddings are about three things. The first two are obviously Paige and me, and the third is the people in our lives. The wedding isn't just a party; it's the beginning of Paige and my life together, and the people there are the most trusted friends and family we can go to when we are stressed. As we watched the sunset, I smiled at my brother and friends because I knew they would always be there for Paige and I.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

 J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 14: The Bachelor Party, Part 2

 The Bachelor Party, Part 2

The next morning, I woke up at about 9:00. After we had finished playing cards, Noah and I had a really deep conversation until 3:00 AM. As everyone started to get up, the boys made bacon, eggs, and pancakes. At around 11:30, Cousin Simple’s lead singer, Will, arrived.

“Ah, there’s the man of the hour!” Will said as we hugged.

“Thanks for coming,” I said. 

“Thanks for having me,” he replied.

After he got settled and everybody else finished getting ready, we all piled into the van to go on a hike. Now I’ve been to Hocking Hills countless times throughout my life and I’ve always loved that each part of it feels almost entirely different from the others. As we drove the 30 minutes to our hike, we all noticed how different it was from Columbus.

“It’s only an hour away,” Luke remarked, “ but it feels like we’re in a different state!”

The place we went to for our hike was called Conkles Hollow, which I mean, whoever named that deserves a medal; it’s so fun to say. Anyways, Will has been to this area before. There are two paths: a ravine trail and a ridge trail. Will suggested the ridge.

I have been guiding Noah for nearly 7 years now, and it has never been an inconvenience. However, Conkles Hollow is not the most well-maintained hike I’ve been on in Hocking Hills, and so I had to learn the terrain while also guiding Noah, which was a bit harder.

That being said, it was still enjoyable for everyone. Here are some highlights:

1. Ryan found a tree that was shaped kind of like a giraffe's neck, and he sat on it, and it was a great picture.

2. Will spent a lot of the hike walking with me and Noah, and getting to know him. While they have met before at shows, Will later told me that this was the first time he actually got to know Noah, and it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

3. The views. We were probably about 1,000 feet above sea level, and there were a ton of cliffs. Again, it was crazy to think we were still in Ohio.

To Be Continued… 

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 13: The Bachelor Party, Part 1

 The Bachelor Party, Part 1

Key: in this Three-parter, Ryu = My Brother Ryan, and Ryan = Paige’s Brother Ryan

Now, before we get into this installment, I would like to re-examine Greg Parker’s Bachelor Party. The installment I wrote about his party was Season 4’s Greg’s Wedding Part 1: A Story About The Bachelor. That night, we went to Top Golf, went to dinner, and then went back to the Airbnb, and all the groomsmen told stories about Greg. Temi is from Nigeria, so the day after his bachelor party, we had the Nigerian Wedding, and then we had the Western Wedding on that Sunday. While the party was fun, the two weddings did overshadow it, and so as I drove to Noah’s apartment on Friday, March 20, 2026, at 5:30 to start my bachelor party, I was excited, but I didn’t really have any expectations for what it would be like.

After I picked Noah up, we drove to Kobolt. Ryu, Luke, Josh, and my cousins, Alex and Nicholas, were already there packing up my dad’s big blue work van. On the way to Hocking Hills, we stopped at Olive Garden and met up with my cousin Austin. After dinner, we finished the drive and made it to the Airbnb (Bachelor Cabin).

The main floor of Bachelor Cabin was a combined kitchen, living, and dining room, with a couple of bedrooms, as well as a balcony overlooking a forest. The top floor was just bedrooms and a hallway bed, which is where I slept. The basement had a pool table, a table-top Ms. Pac-Man, giant Kerpunk, and a hot tub outside.

Paige’s brothers Ryan and Brennan were already there when we arrived, and after we all got settled in and spent some time in the hot tub, we played a card game called golf. I had bought a couple braille playing card decks so that Noah could play with us. As we played, I looked around at the table. It had been a pretty chill party so far, however the vibe between my and Greg’s parties were so different.

Greg is approximately a year younger than me and so he is the first person in my age group to get married. I have always been a romantic, so throughout his wedding weekend, I was having an amazing time! While I sat at the table, at the beginning of my own bachelor party and compared mine to his, I realized that I was even more ecstatic than I was at his… which isn’t surprising, but it still felt like a noteworthy observation, and a great way to set the tone for the weekend!

To Be Continued…

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 12: The Hand Of Fate Theory

 The Hand Of Fate Theory

As of the posting of this installment, Paige and I have been together for exactly 3 years! I only did an installment about our one-year anniversary. There are a couple of reasons for this. 1. On our actual 2-year anniversary, we only went out for dinner, and when we were going to celebrate, a week later, Arden came into town for the last time before her parents sold their house. 2. Knowing that I was going to get engaged within about a month of that anniversary, I knew our dating anniversary was not going to be as big a deal as our wedding anniversary, and it wouldn't get as much attention, after this year, anyway. I'm making a big deal about it this year because, with our wedding coming up, I wanted to bring up the biggest thing Paige and I have debated about: how our relationships started. For the sake of this installment, I am going to call the thing that we are debating The Hand Of Fate Theory.

 I developed my feelings for Paige at an ugly Christmas sweater party back in 2019. I didn't act on my feelings right away because our brothers were friends in high school, and even though they weren't that close anymore, it still felt like a weird violation of the bro code. As we got into Mom's car after the party, she said to Dad, “That Paige O’Brien is really cool!” Dad agreed, but I didn't say anything since I didn't want to give anything away.

In 2023, Cousin Simple played at Newport Music Hall, and when I was in the crowd before they started playing, Mom saw Paige with her parents. “You should go hang out with Mitchell!” Mom said to Paige.

“We're waiting on our drinks,” Paige replied.

So Mom waited for Paige to get her drink, dragged her to the crowd, and effectively threw Paige at me. Paige picked up on Mom's weird behavior and noticed my crush immediately as a result. In the installment that I initially wrote about this in (Not Just A Background Character), I depicted Mom as being moved by the hand of fate. Early on (and still in installments that dive super deep into our relationship), I would have Paige review the installment to see if she was okay with everything I said. After she read Not Just A Background Character and the other installments introducing her as my girlfriend, the only critique that she had was, “You know your mom knew, right?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You developed your crush on me at the ugly sweater party, right?” She asked.

“Yes?” I said, still confused.

“Did your mom say anything in the car?” she persisted.

“Yeah,” I replied, “she turned to Dad and said, ‘That Paige O’Brien is really cool!’”

“Mitchell,” she said with confidence, “she totally knew! She said that to your Dad to see if you would react!” 

I was not convinced, and we have been going back and forth about this ever since. There have been a couple of developments. My parents only found out about this debate after Paige and I got engaged, and Mom says that she didn't know, and Dad says that he is the one who suggested it to Mom that Paige should hang out with me, since she is shyer than me, and I do crowd work for Cousin Simple anyway. While Paige trusts my parents, this is literally the one thing that she does not believe them on! 

I kind of flip-flop between being for or against The Hand Of Fate Theory. I'm for it because, number one, that's what my parents are saying, and number two, I think Mom and Dad losing their free will for like a 5-minute period to get Paige and me together is a way better story. But on the flip side, I've never been good at hiding my emotions, and Paige and I talked for conservatively 15 minutes. Like they had to have known! Either way, my parents played a huge role in bringing us together, and they deserve some credit for the wedding next month!

Have A Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 11: Goodbye Gleason Road

Goodbye Gleason Road 

On Friday, March 6, 2026, I drove to Massey’s Pizza and picked up the half meat lovers, half mushroom and banana pepper pizza I had ordered for Shane and I. See, he is moving in with his fiancée Jessica shortly after Paige and my wedding. With wedding stuff picking up, for both of us, Shane and I wanted to get the apartment “send off” underway sooner rather than later. 

I walked into the apartment around 7:30, we said hi, and we started to eat and reminisce. “We had some good times,” I said with a smile.

“Yes, we sure did,” he replied, “do you remember the helicopter?”

While I hadn’t forgotten, it wasn’t something that I think about that often. That story begins in July 2022, when Shane orchestrated a meeting between myself, both our parents, and his staff coordinator, Nancy, to help solve the issues that Shane and I were having at the time. After the meeting, Nancy gave Shane and I two tickets to the Ohio State fair.

Now, around the same time of that meeting, I had matched with a girl on a dating app named Lauren. I’ve already written about that entire fiasco, but basically, she and I went on a date, and she orchestrated a weird The Bachelorette situation between me and another guy she was seeing at the time. Then, when that inevitably blew up, my “sisters” convinced me to start working on myself before I started dating again. Shane and I ended up going to the fair, between Lauren and my date and the Andersons, convincing me to work on myself.

Now it goes without saying that Lauren is not my soulmate, but at this point, Paige was just a family friend who I had (what I thought was) a childish crush on. So, at this time, while I already knew my future wife, my anxiety about not finding someone paired with the other guy situation, put me in a very toxic mindset.

We arrived at the fair at around 5:00 on Saturday, August 13, 2022. I had gone to the fair growing up, but all I remembered about it was going down the big slides. After Shane and I walked into the fair, we made our way to the skyride.

While we were in the air, we heard a helicopter above us. We watched as it circled the fair and landed on the side we were heading to. We did a few other things that I can’t quite remember now, but when we had done everything else we wanted to, we got in line for the helicopter.

About an hour later, it was finally our turn. The man who was at the gate let us in, and we watched as it landed in front of us. We climbed in, I sat in the front, and Shane sat in the back, and we took off. As we ascended, I looked at the Columbus skyline. I had seen it before from airplanes, but that was always in passing. I had never flown specifically to see the skyline, and it was breaking!

As I thought back on this experience from Shane’s apartment, I smiled. See, I’m bringing Lauren up for two very specific reasons. 1. I’m planning on using her in a later installment for a narrative purpose (bear with me, that will make sense when we get to it). 2. The Other Guy situation works as a great allegory for my most recent thoughts on the War Of The Roommates. While Shane and I have remained friends, post living together, as I’ve depicted, our time living together was not ideal. I think my biggest problem with writing about War Of The Roommates so openly is now when I think back on my time living with Shane, I view it as overall negative. But it wasn’t all bad. Shane and I still had some good times in the Gleason Road apartment, even though our fights were overshadowing them. Just like how even when I was stressing over the Other Guy Situation, Shane and I were able to see this amazing view from a helicopter!

Have a Greattastic Day and Be Safe

J. Mitchie Ulibarri SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 10.5: Groomsman 2

 Groomsmen 2

As I said in Snowmageddon, I spent my week off because of the blizzard doing a ton of writing. On one of the days, not sure which one, as they all kinda bled together, I was writing at Crimson Cup. Crimson Cup is within a half mile of Gleason Road, where Shane lives. Shane has been wanting me to help him with a writing project for years, and because I was so close, I decided to head over.

When I got there, and we greeted each other, he asked me about wedding plans. Once I had caught him up on mine, I asked him about his (he has been engaged to his fiancée, Jessica, since 2022). “Actually,” he said, “a lot has happened…” It turns out they had landed on a date for this fall, and he is moving out of the Gleason Road apartment in May.

“Am I invited to the wedding?” I asked, aware that with the logistics of wedding planning that I might not be. 

“It’s going to be a surprise,” he said. Seeing the confusion on my face, he continued, “It’ll be a surprise because I was going to ask if you maybe wanted to be a groomsman?” 

“Of course!” I said.

As we continued to talk, we decided to do a “send off” of the apartment on March 6th.

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 10: Dayton

 Dayton

My mom’s college roommate was a woman named Shannon. While I wrote about her once in my books, within this series, she and her husband, Tim, have only appeared in Cousin Simple-themed installments (Columbus Against The World, Full Circle, and Not Just A Background Character, which mostly takes place during Columbus Against The World). Both of the shows depicted in those installments took place in Columbus. On Friday, February 27, 2026, Cousin Simple had their first show in Dayton, where Shannon and Tim live.

At around 7:10, Mom, Dad, Josh, Paige, my friend Elana, her sister Jenna (who also happened to go to school with Paige), and I walked into a pizza shop called Oregon Express. Shannon, Tim, Ryan, Luke, Will, and Dave were already there at a table. Full Circle happened two years ago, so before the show started, we spent our time catching up with Shannon and Tim. 

In my head, I’ve broken up Cousin Simple’s discography into 4 eras. The classic/nostalgic era (from their first album, And We Would Never End, to their first two singles, This Is A Robbery and Rockstar). The First Singles Era (their second two singles, Honeybee and Star Destroyers, and their Christmas song, Laughing All The Way). The Second Singles Era (which is most of their remaining singles, We Know, Boy.Girl, Let’s Be Together, You Want It You Got It, Chapstick, All My Movies, Fast Lane, and Candlelight). Finally, the EP (current modern) Era, (their last three singles, Vacation (Taylor Swift), Prima Donna (single version), and Long Way (single version), and their EPs, Sugarcoat, Part Time Job, and You Don’t Have To Sing Along).

The first band that played was a screamo band, and before they went on, the tables were moved so people could dance. Once the first band was finished, Elana and I made our way to the front of the crowd. There was a girl at the front in a We Know shirt. As I always do, I walked up to her to do some crowd work.

“How long have you known the band?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m here for the next band,” she replied, thinking that I was asking about the screamo band. Once I explained the connection, we talked for about a minute, and Cousin Simple started playing. After the first song, I looked to my right and saw Paige and Jenna.

There are two things about Paige you should know. 

1. She hates to be the center of attention.

2. She has never come to the front of a Cousin Simple crowd with me.

When I saw her, I smiled, and she knew it was because she was at the front with me. Because she doesn’t like being the center of attention, she jokingly gave me a glare. I responded, “I love you,” with a chuckle. Unfortunately, the girl in the We Know shirt was standing between Paige and me, and because we had talked, she assumed that I was telling her I loved her.

Elena, who saw the whole thing, laughed. “Oh my gosh,” she said, “ you do get yourself into these awkward situations! I thought you were just making them up.”

I laughed. I was once told by a mentor, “Mitchell, you are the best person to have an awkward moment with.” I’ve always been a people person, and I’ve learned that despite the negative connotation of the word, I’ve always taken that quote to heart. Nothing is inherently good or bad; it’s about how you use it. I might be awkward, but I’m awkward with confidence!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT