Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 20: Rejection Therapy

 Rejection Therapy

Immediately after Lauren told me she was not interested, I desperately told my “sisters” I was going to go back into dating apps. They told me it was a bad idea, and we started something called The Mitchell project, which was supposed to help me work on myself before I got into another relationship. While there were five individual goals I was supposed to meet, they basically boiled down to two things: get over Gabby and be more confident in myself, so that when the right one came along, I wouldn’t miss my opportunity. I got over Gabby in the Season 5 finale when we met up for the last time and found closure (True Confidence).

Here's the thing: while I would consider myself a confident person, whenever I would talk to women, my confidence tended to, for lack of a better word, crap out. Literally the only reason I dated anybody before Paige was because the social pressure of people making jokes about me missing the fact that a girl was into me, outweighed the social awkwardness in the moment of asking her out. All I knew going into Season 6 was that I was confident in my choice to not be with Gabby. If “the one” showed up on my doorstep, I knew I still would not be able to confidently take my chance with them because I was still too scared of rejection. The solution was obvious to me. I am not the kind of guy who would ever go to a bar with the specific intention to pick up a woman. Going out with that intention always just felt a little gross to me. But I figured if I went out to a bar with the specific intention of getting rejected, I could build my confidence, so that when someone I wanted to try a relationship with came along, I would feel confident enough in myself to not shoot myself in the foot.

On Saturday, February 4th, 2023, I went to an event benefiting the Down Syndrome Association of Central Ohio (DSACO), with my former roommate Shane and his fiancée Jessica, called the "Dancing With Our Stars Gala." This event became the Season 6 premiere (Dancing With Our Stars). Despite things still being kind of workable at this point with Shane, I was still not really living at my apartment. The next Friday, February 10th, Shane was with Jessica. I went to the apartment, recorded the episode, but I wanted to wait till midnight to post it (so the date that the installment was posted was the same day that is announced on social media). There was a bar right down the street from the apartment, and I had about 4 hours to kill.

I walked into the bar at around 8:15, and it was relatively dead. There was a woman sitting on her own. I had to use the bathroom, and so as I walked by, I shot her a sheepish smile. When I got out of the bathroom, she looked up and motioned for me to come and sit next to her. She introduced herself as McKenna, and she bought me a drink, which kind of caught me off guard. We talked for hours, and we basically told each other our entire life stories. About 10 minutes in, she told me, “Hey Mitchell, you're sweet, but I'm really not looking to date anyone right now. I’m at the tail end of a really bad divorce.” 

“Oh no,” I said, “I'm so sorry. I'm not really actually looking for a relationship either right now. And I'm really sorry that you're going through that. Do you want to talk about it?”

She then filled me in on all the details about how her marriage had fallen apart. While there is a lot to that story, the part that is the most important for me is she married her high school sweetheart at 20 and that was 12 years before this. At this time I was going on 26 so while 32 isn't that old, in the head of my 25 years old self, McKenna became this wise sage like being as soon as I found out her age. When she finished talking about herself she said, “So you're not looking for a relationship right now either? Is there anything you need to talk about?”

I then explained the restraining order, and Gabby, and Lauren, The Mitchell Project, and my logic with just trying to get rejected. When I told her what I was doing, she burst out laughing. “I'm so sorry, Mitchell,” she said, “but that's so stupid!”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you're a really confident person! As soon as I told you that I wasn't looking for a relationship, and you stopped playing this weird game, we’ve been talking for…” She clicked her phone and looked at the time, “An hour and a half. You're good at talking to people, but you get stuck when you're looking for a relationship.”

“Yeah, I know!” I said, “That's the point!”

“But you don't need to traumatize yourself by getting rejected to get over that,” she said, “Instead of asking someone on a date, just ask them to hang out! If it turns into something else, it turns into something else. But I think it'll be easier for you to pivot from ‘I have a crush on you’ to ‘Okay, we're just friends’ As opposed to ‘I have a crush on you’ to ‘Okay, you're my girlfriend now.’ You just need to take the pressure away.”

On March 4th, 2023, Cousin Simple played Newport Music Hall. While I was in the mosh pit, doing some crowd work, Mom ran up and basically threw Paige at me. I had had a crush on her for a few years at this point, and while I was still a little awkward, because let's be honest, your mom chucking your future wife at you is a little bit off-putting, I took McKenna’s advice and asked her to hang out, instead of fully asking her on a date.

On April 26th 2026, the day after Alexander's wedding, I sent a dm to McKenna thanking her. I’m bringing all of this up because I believe Paige is my soulmate, but that doesn’t mean that we would have ended up together no matter what. Like, I’m so happy that we did, but there are so many things that could have gone wrong! I believe that our relationship isn't just about or because of us. It is because of the people who taught us lessons along the way, brought us together, and have supported us throughout our relationship!

Have A Greattastic Day and Be Safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 19: The Other Guy (Continued) (Part 1)

 The Other Guy (Continued)

In season 5, after I broke up with my ex, Gabby, I started to spiral. I think I have made it clear that my feelings for Gabby never evolved past a crush, but breakups are still hard. After our breakup, my arc in this series was about that spiral. The pinnacle of that spiral was when, in a panic, I downloaded another dating app.  I immediately matched with a girl named Lauren and took her out on a date shortly before my birthday. Over the course of the date, she asked me if I was seeing anyone else. I said no, and I found out that she was in fact seeing someone else from Pittsburgh. She kind of pressured me into this weird The Bachelorette situation where it was her choosing between one of us, since he was coming into town for about a week, starting 2 days after our date. The installment I wrote about this entire event was called The Other Guy. At the end of that installment, I wrote, “I met up with her one more time before she met this other guy and we texted sporadically, while they were hanging out.”  This is a depiction of that “one more time.”

On Wednesday, August 10th, 2022, at probably around 4:00 (I can't remember exactly), I pulled up to a Jeni’s ice cream in Westerville, Ohio. Two days before, I had taken Lauren on our date. I turned the car off and anxiously waited to see her pull in. She had texted me before I left that the other guy had left about an hour before, so we only had till about 6:00 before he arrived, and she wanted to be home by like 5:00 to get ready. I saw her pull up, a couple of minutes after I parked, and I walked to greet her.

“Hi,” I said confidently when she was in earshot.

“Hey,” she said very shallowly, “Do you want to go inside?”

“Sure!” I said, still way too excited. 

As we walked into the ice cream shop, I reached for her hand, and she pulled away. Now let’s pause this flashback for just a second. As someone who is getting married in a week, I can look back on this memory and realize that she wasn't interested. Honestly, I think the only reason she agreed to go on this second date was out of pity. I don't think she's actually a bad person, and I don't think she was purposefully pressuring me into this The Bachelorette situation. I think she knew that I was autistic, that I had lost S.M., and I had had a couple of really bad girlfriends over the last 2 years, and she had no idea how to let me down easy. But Season 5 Mitchell did not have the wherewithal to realize this was a bad situation. And Unpause.

We got inside, ordered our ice cream, and sat down at a table. The entire date, if you can even call it a date, was incredibly awkward. We sat in almost painful silence, quickly shoveling the ice cream down our throats to get out of the situation. At some point, maybe about halfway through my ice cream, I asked: “So what are your plans for this weekend?”

“I don't know,” she replied, “I think I'm going to take him to COSI, possibly the fair, maybe the Columbus Museum of Art?”

“Oh, maybe take him to Pins or Otherworld?” I suggested.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about Otherworld,” she said.

What am I doing? I thought.

In some insane act of ignorance to the fact that the thing we talked about the most during this second date was “The competition,” I thought she might still choose me? Throughout the entire weekend, I texted her, asking her what they were up to until they got in a giant fight and he left. The next week, she confirmed that she was not interested in me.

Now, as I said, I am getting married next week. So I can hear all of you asking, why in the name of sanity would you write an installment about a girl that you had two dates with, a week before Paige becomes your wife? There are a few answers for this 1. Like I said, I don't think Lauren was a bad person. But in the original The Other Guy installment, she is purely a villain, because at the time, that is how I viewed her. I wanted to write this to, at the very least, acknowledge that I was wrong about that. 2. She and I have a few mutual friends, who knew that I went on a couple dates with her while it was happening. One of them informed me that she got engaged earlier this year, and I wanted to wish her and her fiancé the best! 3. The narrative reason for this is this is a two-part installment. While I portrayed my desperation appropriately across the rest of that season, it was a little dialed back in the original The Other Guy installment. I needed you to really understand how desperate I was, going into Part 2.

To Be Continued…

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 18: Alexander’s Wedding

 Alexander’s Wedding

Key: in this installment Paige B=my cousin Paige

On Friday, April 24, 2026, I got off the plane in Orlando, Florida and waited for Mom, Dad, Josh, and Paige to get off. Once they deplaned, we made our way to baggage claim and then to get our rental car. We had arrived at around 1:15, and Alexander and his wife Alexa, had gotten married at the courthouse at noon. The reception was the next day, in their backyard. We were staying with my aunt Eva and uncle Zach, but their 6 year wedding anniversary was the 25th, so they were celebrating when we landed. As a result, we decided to spend time with other family members.

We arrived at my grandma's house around 2:30, and we stayed and talked to her and my grandpa Joe for a few hours. After that we went to Alexander and Alexa’s house to help set up for the reception. By the time we got there everything had mostly been set up, but aunt Alicia lives on the same street as Alexander and Alexa, so we spent the rest of the evening with her, Paul, and Austin, when he arrived.

Cousin Simple has been on a tour for the last few months (The Dayton show was part of it), and they had a show in Detroit on Friday. Ryan and Luke landed in Orlando at 9:20 on Saturday morning. Once they arrived at Eva and Zach’s, we hung out, ate breakfast, and Paige and I went for a swim, before it was time to go. 

There was a cocktail hour at 4:00 and the bride and groom were to enter at 5:00. During the cocktail hour we mingled with family and at around 4:55 Paige B, her husband, Austin, and their kids arrived. At the same time it started raining.  About 30 minutes later, when the rain slowed, Alexander and Alexa entered, they greeted everyone and despite the rain, they were very positive, (and I promised myself I would remember that for my wedding when something goes wrong).

We began to eat, and then it was time for pictures. After we got a family picture Paige and I walked up to a mirror that was by the front gate. On it in vinyl was written, “Alexander and Alexa 4.24.26.” Eva asked if we wanted a picture and we said yes.

Eva grabbed the polaroid camera, and took the shot. I wouldn't notice it until the next day but Alexander and Alexa were in the mirror when Eva took the picture. It kind of looks like Paige and I are getting a picture and our future selves (as a bride and groom) are in the mirror waiting. 

After Eva handed me the picture, Paige and I walked up to Alexander and Alexa and congratulated them. “So,” I asked, “out of professional curiosity, how does it feel?”

“You know,” Alexander said, “it feels amazing!”

“We can’t wait to celebrate you guys in a couple weeks!” Alexa continued.

As the night went on and we danced, I watched how happy Alexander was. While I have written about him before, out of all my cousins, he has appeared the least. This is mostly due to the distance, but I mean, he’s my older cousin; I've known him my whole life. Most notably, he spent a year and a half or so living in Columbus. Alexander has been dating Alexa since 2017, and I have known her since 2020. I have never seen either of them as happy as they were on their wedding day!

Congratulations, Alexander and Alexa! Hope you have a Greattastic life together- your cousin, J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 17: The Bouquet

 The Bouquet 

After the sunset, we all returned to the Bachelor Cabin, played a game of Catchphrase, and then most people went downstairs to play pool or Kerpunk. My brother Ryan, Josh, and cousin Austin opted for the hot tub. With the Bachelor party nearly at its end, we started to talk about the next time we were all going to see Austin.

“I can’t believe they are getting married next month!” I said.

“I know,” Ryan said, “They just got engaged in December!”

“Actually,” I continued, “I have a great video from Paige’s Wedding.”

“Princess Paige’s?” Austin asked, referring to his sister, my cousin, as opposed to my fiancée. 

“Yes," I replied, “Actually, I'll show you.”

I hopped out of the tub, dried off, ran up to my bed where my phone was charging, and scrolled through until I got to the end of October 2021. I remembered the night well. My cousin Paige had just gotten married, and we were at the reception. About 30 minutes into dancing, we were instructed to get off the floor so they could do the bouquet toss. When I got off the floor, I stood next to Eva, Alexander (Paige and Austin's brother), and, to my surprise, his girlfriend, Alexa. Eva and I prompted her to join the other women, and she stood at the very back of the group.

“Alexa's going to catch it,” I whispered to Eva jokingly as I started recording. Paige threw the bouquet, and it went right to Alexa! I'm so glad I was recording because after she caught it I got a close-up of her and Paige, and then one of Alexander, who was trying his hardest to process what had just happened. I watch the video before running back downstairs and showing it to Ryan, Austin, and Josh, and they all burst out into smiles!

In the installment I wrote about Paige’s wedding, I kept that description of Alexa catching the bouquet in, even though I didn't know when they were going to get engaged. However, for Alexa's birthday, Alexander and her went to New York, and they got engaged on that trip. I assumed, just based on how stressful wedding planning has been for us, that Alexander and Alexa would not get married until after I did. 

I was surprised then when I found out that their wedding was set for April 25th. I am a romantic. I always have been, and I always will be. And as a result, I'm very into the superstitions/traditions around weddings. I think the bouquet toss is the one thing I've never really taken too seriously. Like it makes sense that a wedding is going to be insanely magical for the bride and groom, but the idea of passing that magic immediately on to another couple who is not directly involved in the current wedding just seemed a little, I don't know, too unrealistic. Does that make sense?

Anyways, I think Alexander and Alexa have proved me wrong. My cousin Paige's wedding was not the last wedding that either I or my cousin Paige have attended. But because Alexander and Alexa's wedding is happening a month before Paige and mine, on the Ulibarri side, Alexander and Alexa's wedding is, in fact, the next wedding after my cousin Paige’s.

To Be Continued…

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 15: The Bachelor Party, Part 3

 The Bachelor Party, Part 3

When we returned to Bachelor Cabin from Conkles Hollow,we played some games for about an hour.  At the end of that hour, we started to make dinner. There was a Blue Jackets game that night, and Noah is an avid follower. He has a portable radio that he brings with him to listen to games, and when the game started, he turned it on. When dinner was finished, Nicholas suggested that we turn on the TV. 

Now, I have never been a major sports person. Paige is strong-arming me a little bit into it, but basically, until we started dating, I was very against it. The exception being Blue Jackets hockey. In my opinion, hockey doesn't require your undivided attention, in comparison to something like football (especially when your main experience with that is the Buckeyes). In other words, going to a Hockey game is more of a social experience, in comparison to other sports. However, watching the hockey game on TV kind of takes that aspect out of it, so after I finished dinner, I went out onto the balcony.

Austin and my brothers were playing a game, and as I looked over the balcony, I saw Ryan and Brennan coming out of the forest directly behind the Bachelor Cabin. Austin told me, “After we're done with this game, we're going to go down and explore.”

I was a little bit too impatient and decided to go down on my own. It's really hard to describe this forest, as the path is very ill-defined, and the rest of it is not very well-maintained. There's only one real defining feature. If you're looking out from Bachelor Cabin on the left-hand side, there's a series of cliffs and a ravine directly below. From Bachelor Cabin, I ran alone directly into the ravine.

It took me, I don’t know, three minutes maybe, to get to the lowest point of the ravine. It was so quiet. I don't think I can accurately describe the level of silence that I heard. It was just nothing. It was as if someone had turned the volume knob down to zero in that area. I don't think I've ever experienced that level of Zen.

After they finished their game, Austin, Ryu, Luke, and Josh called down to me from the cliffs. I climbed up, and once I got to them, we hiked over the cliffs and through a couple of caves until I found a cliff that offered a good view of the sunset. About 10 minutes after we got there, Will arrived, and shortly after, Noah called me. I returned to Bachelor Cabin to get him.

When Noah and I returned to the cliff, we sat and chatted as the day turned to night. As I explained in the first episode of this season, even before Paige and I started dating, I knew I was going to call the season in which I get married, The Age Of Weddings, and I clarified that I had an unrealistic view of wedding planning. It's so much more stressful than I thought it would be before Paige and I got engaged. But what I've learned throughout this experience is that the stress doesn't matter. At the end of the day, weddings are about three things. The first two are obviously Paige and me, and the third is the people in our lives. The wedding isn't just a party; it's the beginning of Paige and my life together, and the people there are the most trusted friends and family we can go to when we are stressed. As we watched the sunset, I smiled at my brother and friends because I knew they would always be there for Paige and I.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

 J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 14: The Bachelor Party, Part 2

 The Bachelor Party, Part 2

The next morning, I woke up at about 9:00. After we had finished playing cards, Noah and I had a really deep conversation until 3:00 AM. As everyone started to get up, the boys made bacon, eggs, and pancakes. At around 11:30, Cousin Simple’s lead singer, Will, arrived.

“Ah, there’s the man of the hour!” Will said as we hugged.

“Thanks for coming,” I said. 

“Thanks for having me,” he replied.

After he got settled and everybody else finished getting ready, we all piled into the van to go on a hike. Now I’ve been to Hocking Hills countless times throughout my life and I’ve always loved that each part of it feels almost entirely different from the others. As we drove the 30 minutes to our hike, we all noticed how different it was from Columbus.

“It’s only an hour away,” Luke remarked, “ but it feels like we’re in a different state!”

The place we went to for our hike was called Conkles Hollow, which I mean, whoever named that deserves a medal; it’s so fun to say. Anyways, Will has been to this area before. There are two paths: a ravine trail and a ridge trail. Will suggested the ridge.

I have been guiding Noah for nearly 7 years now, and it has never been an inconvenience. However, Conkles Hollow is not the most well-maintained hike I’ve been on in Hocking Hills, and so I had to learn the terrain while also guiding Noah, which was a bit harder.

That being said, it was still enjoyable for everyone. Here are some highlights:

1. Ryan found a tree that was shaped kind of like a giraffe's neck, and he sat on it, and it was a great picture.

2. Will spent a lot of the hike walking with me and Noah, and getting to know him. While they have met before at shows, Will later told me that this was the first time he actually got to know Noah, and it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

3. The views. We were probably about 1,000 feet above sea level, and there were a ton of cliffs. Again, it was crazy to think we were still in Ohio.

To Be Continued… 

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 13: The Bachelor Party, Part 1

 The Bachelor Party, Part 1

Key: in this Three-parter, Ryu = My Brother Ryan, and Ryan = Paige’s Brother Ryan

Now, before we get into this installment, I would like to re-examine Greg Parker’s Bachelor Party. The installment I wrote about his party was Season 4’s Greg’s Wedding Part 1: A Story About The Bachelor. That night, we went to Top Golf, went to dinner, and then went back to the Airbnb, and all the groomsmen told stories about Greg. Temi is from Nigeria, so the day after his bachelor party, we had the Nigerian Wedding, and then we had the Western Wedding on that Sunday. While the party was fun, the two weddings did overshadow it, and so as I drove to Noah’s apartment on Friday, March 20, 2026, at 5:30 to start my bachelor party, I was excited, but I didn’t really have any expectations for what it would be like.

After I picked Noah up, we drove to Kobolt. Ryu, Luke, Josh, and my cousins, Alex and Nicholas, were already there packing up my dad’s big blue work van. On the way to Hocking Hills, we stopped at Olive Garden and met up with my cousin Austin. After dinner, we finished the drive and made it to the Airbnb (Bachelor Cabin).

The main floor of Bachelor Cabin was a combined kitchen, living, and dining room, with a couple of bedrooms, as well as a balcony overlooking a forest. The top floor was just bedrooms and a hallway bed, which is where I slept. The basement had a pool table, a table-top Ms. Pac-Man, giant Kerpunk, and a hot tub outside.

Paige’s brothers Ryan and Brennan were already there when we arrived, and after we all got settled in and spent some time in the hot tub, we played a card game called golf. I had bought a couple braille playing card decks so that Noah could play with us. As we played, I looked around at the table. It had been a pretty chill party so far, however the vibe between my and Greg’s parties were so different.

Greg is approximately a year younger than me and so he is the first person in my age group to get married. I have always been a romantic, so throughout his wedding weekend, I was having an amazing time! While I sat at the table, at the beginning of my own bachelor party and compared mine to his, I realized that I was even more ecstatic than I was at his… which isn’t surprising, but it still felt like a noteworthy observation, and a great way to set the tone for the weekend!

To Be Continued…