Season 6 Whats The Dream? Finale: Man I Want To Be

 Man I Want To Be

There's a musician named Jake Scott. My “sisters” introduced me to him, and I'm pretty sure that they found him through their friends in Canada. He has a lot of good songs, but my favorite is one called, The Man I Want to Be. My favorite part is the bridge. It goes, “If I got everything I’ve wanted and stood beneath the lights up on the stage, would the boy when I was young love the man that I've become or would he even recognize my face?”

This is a very weird season finale. In all the previous ones there's been something dramatic that happened. In Season 1, I lied to my other three “sisters” and Marshall to surprise them when Arden returned from Colorado for Christmas. In Season 2, Covid hit, and in Season 3… Well, admittedly, Season 3 wasn't super dramatic, but I did learn a very valuable lesson during that event. Season 4 was me moving out, and season 5, was my ex-girlfriend Gabby, returning for a final time. This installment is more of a reflection of what has happened between the Season 5 finale, and now.

I started writing books first, and that kind of snowballed into me starting this blog and, eventually, the podcast. Knowing that the books were coming, I sort of structured this series as if it were a series of books, too. Seasons 1 to 3 were one book; in my head it's called The Coronapocalypse. And Seasons 4-6 are one; I call this one The Mitchell Project.

For those of you who don't remember, The Mitchell Project was a plan that my “sisters” and I came up with on my 25th birthday to better my mental and physical health before my 26th. It was a direct result of my breakup with Gabby because I had immediately tried to fill the void of not having a girlfriend, and I had gotten myself hurt. There was a list of five things that I was supposed to do to complete The Mitchell Project. There was sort of an unspoken sixth rule, though: don't go looking for a girlfriend while doing The Mitchell Project. I planned, as a result, not to get a girlfriend until after my 26th birthday… Oops.

The reason that I wasn't supposed to get a girlfriend during that time was because my “sisters” and I knew that if I got a girlfriend, I would put my self-esteem into whatever girl I was dating, and it would all be for nothing. And I will admit, The Mitchell Project itself did fade away as soon as I started dating Paige, but not because I stopped using it. It faded because it wasn't needed in its current form; in other words, it evolved!

Paige herself is a major part of that evolution. I’m not going to lie to you; I did start to put my self-esteem into Paige and my relationship, as my “sisters” and had I feared. I'm not going to go into too many details, but basically, I became a little insecure. Insecurities are a natural thing in any relationship, but I'm so confident as a person that when I do get insecure, I’m not really good at handling it. The girls and Marshall have been helping me manage these insecurities, and Paige has continued to push me to have a life outside of our relationship.

On that note, this season, I've done a ton of great things myself! Firstly, I was a keynote speaker at an Ohio conference, and I was offered a spot on the CEC of Ohio Board! I also spoke at OCALICONLINE for a second time with my parents and some big names in the special ed world! On top of that, I have an idea for my next steps as an Autism advocate! I can't say anything right now, but just trust me, I'm really excited! In my non-romantic personal life, I saw Taylor Swift live, climbed a 14er, published my second book, finished writing my 3rd and 4th, became an “uncle” to August’s daughter, and spoke at my aunt and new uncle's wedding!

My essential question for this season was, “What’s the dream?” This was my essential question because my goal for the season was to figure out what my dream life looks like. I realized that looking for my “dream life” might have been setting me up for failure just because reality tends to get in the way. Despite this, I think I figured out what I want my life to realistically look like, and as a result, I am on the cusp of becoming the man I want to be!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 6 Whats The Dream? Blog 30: Out Of My Mind

 Out Of My Mind

On Thursday, November 30th, 2023, I got up early, recorded and posted the previous blog and podcast, grabbed some extra clothes, and returned to my parents' house. Paige had stayed the night, so when I got back, we spent the last few hours before we had to go to the surgery center watching TV. We got to the surgery center at 10:15 am. I got signed in, put on a hospital gown, and crawled into my hospital bed. Mom and Paige were allowed to stay with me the entire time, except when I was actually in surgery.

Almost as soon as I was in bed, a nurse, whose name I'm pretty sure was Tegan, came into my room. She introduced herself to me, Mom, and Paige and then put an IV in my left hand. “I'm going to give you a little something to help you relax,” nurse Tegan said. “You should start to feel it almost immediately.” I didn't believe her at first, but after 15 seconds, I was feeling tired. I remember singing a song from the Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special and sort of having a conversation with Mom and Paige. Eventually, Dr. Blaze came in, and I was moved to the operating table. With the assistance of whatever Nurse Tegan had given me, I think I was out before they even put the anesthesia mask over my face. 

Dr. Blaze and his team took a piece of cartilage from the inside of my ear, used it to cover up the hole in my right eardrum, and then put some biodegradable padding in my ear so that my eardrum has protection while it's healing. The first thing I remember when I woke up was Nurse Tegan trying to get me to drink water out of a plastic cup. Because I wasn't stable enough to hold the cup, she was holding it, and there was a bendy straw in it. I thought the straw was a cigarette, and all I could think was, why are doctors trying to give me a cigarette? That seems counterproductive.

From this point onward, I don’t have a very clear memory of what happened or any sense of time, so everything is based on my vague memories and what Mom and Paige told me later. We left the surgery center around 3:00, and apparently, we went to CVS to get some goldfish, apple juice, and pain meds. Side note: I have been very fortunate, and I have not needed to take any medication for pain in the last week!

My parents had an event with friends that night, so Paige was going to watch me until they got back. Mom and Paige laid me down in the TV room for the night, and Mom asked me, “Do you want anything to eat?”

“Grilled cheese,” I replied.

Mom made two sandwiches and cut them up into little squares. I ate two bites before I fell asleep, and Paige thought that I had swallowed, but I had not. Some hours later, I woke up and thought that I had a huge clump of gum in my mouth. I stood up to spit it out. Paige asked me what I was doing, and I explained what was going on.

“Mitchell,” she said calmly, “you're not allowed to have gum. You've been asleep for hours, and I wouldn't have let you have any even if you had been up.” I didn't know how else to communicate the situation, so I apparently opened my mouth. I can’t imagine how gross what Paige saw was, but to her credit, she was very professional and helped me to the bathroom.

 Yesterday, Friday, December 8th, 2023, I had my one-week check-up. I have another appointment in six weeks, so I don't want to speak too soon, but as of right now, everything looks like it's supposed to. Honestly, the biggest hassle I've had this week is showering because I had to put a cotton ball in my ear with Vaseline covering the outside, and I embarrassingly haven't quite figured out how to do that on my own. The cotton ball is too sticky if I put the vaseline on first, and it won't stay on if I do it after I put the cotton ball in my ear. But if that minor nuisance is the worst thing that has happened to me this week, I’d say I'm doing pretty good! I'd like to thank Dr. Blaze and his team for doing such a good job, and I'd like to thank my family and Paige for helping me through this last week!

Have a Greattastic day, and be safe

J. Mitchie Ulibarri