New Best Friend

New Best Friend

According to Google a friend “is a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.” As someone with autism, it is really hard for me to make friends and as of late I really haven’t been seeing the point of even trying. It just kind of feels like a dead end.

I think that even though I’ve been trying really hard I just can’t seem to make any connections. There are only 5 exceptions to this rule- my four “sisters“and my best friend Samantha McCarthy (or S.M. As I lovingly call her).

The big problem is that I don’t actually know how to make friends. S.M. and I were in first grade when we became friends and she is the kindest person I’ve ever met. I think she knew I had no idea what I was doing, so she tried building a friendship with me but unintentionally made me fall in love with her. I’m happy that it happened, but all I had to do was show up she literally did the rest.

Now that, of course, leaves my “sisters”. And while I had a lot more to do with that friendship, it wasn’t really positive. We were friends growing up until I hurt them. The actual building of our friendship was incredibly complicated because they didn’t trust me anymore. The entire thing was about rebuilding the trust in the relationship, not the relationship in and of itself.

Of course, these are not the only friends I have made. One of the most recent friends I have made is a guy named Connor Woodland. I met “Woody” at Kroger where we are both employed.

Now there is this lady, who comes into Kroger all the time. I don’t know if she knows me, from church, school, or if she just comes to the store a lot, but she knows me somehow. She always comes up to me and says “Hi Mitchell, how are you?” The first time she did it I thought she would tell me where she was from when she was introducing herself… but now its been two years and I have no idea what her name is.

One day Woody and I were taking back items that customers had left behind. In the middle of this process, lovingly referred to as “go-backs”,  we saw the lady. We had our normal interaction and Woody looked at me very confused.

“Who was that?”

“I have no idea.” I said, “This must be how popular people feel, confused when they don't know people's names.”

And then Woody said something I will never forget, “Well, you'll always be popular to me! You’re my best friend!” I wasn't ready for him to say that, but he said it so sincerely, I knew that maybe just maybe, there is still a chance for me to make new friends.

Have a Greattastic day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Thanksgiving Blog 2: I Got Mugged By My Family!

Thanksgiving Blog 2: I Got Mugged By My Family!

For the last 24 years, my aunt Eva and my grandpa, known to us as Pop-Pop, come up from Florida for thanksgiving. This year she brought someone else with her- her fiancé Zach. Zach is a welcome addition to the family and to this thanksgiving tradition.

We have so many awesome traditions throughout the holidays, the creepy Halloween decorations, the family gatherings for thanksgiving, the cookie making at Christmas. But there’s one thing that I hope never becomes a tradition in my household- the toilet challenge.

To understand the toilet challenge you must first understand my brother Luke. You know that kid in your middle school/high school class who had absolutely no sense of shame? The class clown who is willing to do literally anything (no matter how stupid it sounds) just to laugh and make other people laugh… that’s Luke. He comes up with these ideas that are really dumb, but because of the way he executes them they’re hilarious.

The most recent example of this is the toilet challenge. Luke’s Idea was to have two people sit on two separate toilets (fully clothed) for as long as they could-no phones, no magazines, no human interaction. The first person to get up loses.

Mom’s immediate family lives in central Ohio, so they (or most of them always) come to our house for Thanksgiving. While this side of the family is much bigger than depicted here, the important characters of this story are as follows: My aunt Melissa and uncle Andy,  their four kids, Alex, Macy, Nicholas, and Ellie, and my aunt Cyndi.

Somehow, the kids managed to raise $53 from the adults, I'll never understand how they pulled that off. The winner of the toilet challenge wins the money. It took about an hour of preparation for the toilet challenge itself (figuring out rules, who is competing, etc…), and during that time the $53 mysteriously went missing!

As soon as they discovered the money was missing, the kids went crazy and started their interrogations... Not going to lie, I was kind of being a jerk and egging them on. Once it came time for my interrogation, Maci began with the questions and I said, “I don't have the money”, t which point I winked at her. She quickly alerted the others and things just went downhill from there. I saw Nicholas, Luke, and Josh charging me. “Oh no!” I exclaimed as they tackled me. They pulled my wallet out and realized I actually didn't have the money. People were now very confused and they had no idea what happened to the money.

Now, as all this was going on aunt Cyndi, aunt Melissa, and mom had decided to start a spontaneous karaoke session. The first song they sang was “I Want to Be Rich”, by Calloway. For those of you who don't know (I had never heard this song before the incident), the chorus goes like this: I want money, lots and lots of money, I want the pie in the sky. I want money, lots and lots of money, so don’t go asking me why. I wanna be rich…”. As soon as that part of the song started Cyndi started “Making it rain” with the missing $53! and everyone went crazy. 

While that whole situation is completely ridiculous…isn't that what Thanksgiving is about? Embracing the weirdest of your family, and being happy that you are all together. And while its good that we have a day to celebrate that, I think it's something that people forget about throughout the rest of the year. So throughout this next year try to keep that thanksgiving spirit with you.

Hope you had a greattastic Thanksgiving!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Thanksgiving Blog 1:The First Friendsgiving

Thanksgiving Blog 1:The First Friendsgiving

Up until a week ago, I had never heard of Friendsgiving… although the concept is pretty straightforward. The lead singer of Cousin Simple’s (Will’s) family decided to host a Friendsgiving party. Josh, mom, dad, Pop-pop (my grandpa from Florida), and I got out of the car and walked towards the house.

I didn't think that there would be as many people in the house as there were. There were people I never even seen before, and this really excited me. I started walking around and talking to people and I was enjoying myself.

I talked to a most of the members of the band, and their siblings/parents, a few of my friends' parents, and a ton of people who I didn’t know until this party.

At one point, I was having a normal conversation and I looked up to see this huge spider decoration left up from Halloween. Not gonna lie, it scared the living crap out of me!

I had a lot of fun talking to new people and hanging out with old friends. I hope that this becomes a yearly tradition because it was really fun! When the party ended, we all got into the car and drove to the airport…

To be continued

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Live For Today

Live For Today

Two of my “sisters”, August and Arden, used to work at a little bakery. While there, they made a lot of friends, including two guys. Let’s call them Ricky and Marshall. These guys had been friends for a long time and they were roommates at that time.

The five of us (August, Arden, Ricky, Marshall, and myself) had many adventures together. Rock climbing, a few festivals, and a trip to Canada for my 21st birthday. Ricky, Marshall and I took classes together at Columbus State. Ricky has since moved out of state, Arden is in Colorado (duh). But from time to time August, Marshall and I hang out. 

We found out this week that Marshall had a first date with a girl last week, and because August and I both live vicariously through the relationships of others (#Thirdwheelandproud) we decided to help him plan his second.

August picked me up from Kroger on Thursday night, and we met Marshall at the top of our street. We drove around downtown Columbus trying to scope out adventurous things that they could do. 

I sat shotgun so I was in charge of the music. Throughout our whole drive, we went through the musical stylings of Taylor Swift, The Killers, Mat Kearney, Billy Joel, and a few others. It was really funny because while August and I knew most of the words to most of the songs, Marshall didn't really know them. He decided to look them up on the internet and come in mid-song, but it was slightly off-key or offbeat and I just couldn't stop laughing.

Towards the end of the night, we got a little snack and found a rooftop that we could all get on to. We just sat on the rooftop, laughed and watched as the clouds rolled on by. I looked at August, and I suddenly felt sad. I felt sad because I know what is coming in a few months. There is no changing this, it is going to happen.

August has just accepted a job out of state. She has temporarily worked out of state before, but this is a huge change. She’s graduating next month and then she’ll be gone. She will probably come back in three months, but only for a little bit. I can’t stop thinking about all of the great adventures that all of my friends and I have had together.  Should I be sad? Is this the end? These feelings are overwhelming. I think it’s time to adjust my thoughts. I’m grateful for the memories we made together! Enjoy the adventures while you can- don’t think about tomorrow, just live for today!

Have a Greattastic day 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Music, Art,and the Spectrum

Music, Art, and the Spectrum

There are a lot of things you wouldn’t expect when you first meet me. One of them is me being on the spectrum. High-functioning Autism isn’t a true diagnosis but is a term used to refer to people on who can generally live a normal life without much assistance. Growing up my mom just thought I was sensitive and weird for not being able to handle the feeling of denim and certain sounds. After around half a year of therapy for anxiety and depression, a lot of things started to make sense. At first, it was sensory issues, but after a few more weeks of working on it, we realized I was on the spectrum (this was in my freshman year of high school, talk about getting diagnosed just a little late). My autism just tends to show itself as anxiety, depression and obsessive tendencies.

People ask me, a lot, how I often can’t handle a full school day without going into sensory overload and freaking out, but can handle a full concert once or twice a week. I feel like that’s a big thing people don’t understand. There is commotion I can enjoy. Being shoved around in the pit at a concert is an example of that. However, a full day of listening to high schoolers scream is somehow less enjoyable. Who knew! Concerts and music have always been a big part of my life. Just listening to music can take me down from a full breakdown in seconds. General people know music has an effect on you but not how big the effect really is. Music therapy is a big help when it comes to my sensory issues, anxiety and even depression. There is only one time I didn’t enjoy a concert, and it was when I was already having a bad sensory day. I ended up having a panic attack between acts. But as soon as I headed back in everything calmed. I may be sensitive to auditory stimulation in a negative way, but that means I also am in a positive way. Music or the voice of somebody I love can calm me down in almost seconds.

Another big part of my life is art. I spend four periods a day in the art wing of my school. Living with autism, there are many things I often find hard to express. Art is such an easy way to flesh everything you’re feeling out in a healthy way. From abstract painting to sculpture to photography there’s something there for everybody. It helps to calm anxieties I have and even sensory problems I may be having. Creating something that is individual to you is such a good form of expression for anybody with issues in expression, communication or emotional regulation. Putting energy into something that is pretty much an extension of yourself helps your mental state in so many ways.

Finding ways to express things I wouldn’t otherwise be able to has been something so critical after my diagnosis. The affect of music and art in my life is something I am extremely thankful for. Much of the advice I would give to other autistic people who found out they were on the spectrum later in life is to turn to art and music. The basis of both of them is subjects that people often have issues with when on the spectrum. All the thoughts and emotions you have can be pushed into something so positive that may even help other people to express themselves as well. I’ve met so many people through these two mediums over the past year. My communication skills have increased greatly since then. Sometimes all you need is a push out of your comfort zone (which can be hard to find, especially when autistic) to change the course of your Greattastic Life.

Just My Luck!

Just My Luck!

I have been working at Kroger for almost two years now. It’s a job that has its ups and downs. Many of you who have followed me for a while know this. A month into my employment I made a friend, let's call her Lily. Lily started out as a bagger like me, but she was soon promoted to cashier.

Now, Lily and my friendship works because of another friendship that I have. As a refresher I grew up next to four girls, who I now look at as family- therefore I call them my “sisters”. Their father is the most sarcastic person I've ever met. Having hung out at his house religiously for most of my childhood and my teenage years, I have mimicked a lot of his humor. As a result, I'm really sarcastic. (I plan to write a blog about him on New Year's Eve of this year...stay tuned).

Lily is just as sarcastic as I am, except her outlook on life is slightly more negative than mine. When we are working together, we balance each other out. I would also like to point out, that she is probably the only reason I have not been fired yet. Every time I'm about to do something stupid she gives me a look, and I know to rethink my actions.

So on this last Thursday night, I came into work and the carts on both sides of the lot where empty. My boss immediately sent me out on carts and I was there all night. Lily's best friend recently started working with us as a bagger. Her friend has been trained as a cashier for the holiday season.  Lily being the good friend she is didn't want to subject her best friend to the cold of that night so they switched positions.

Lily and I worked tirelessly to try to get all the carts in, but by 9:00 we still weren't done. There are two entrances to Kroger, east and west. At 9:00 you're supposed to lock the east entrance. Because we were not done collecting carts on the east side, we just turned off the electric component of the east sliding doors and decided to open them by hand as we were finishing.

When we finally finished on the east side, we walked back into the cold and were about to head to the other side of the parking lot. This is when we heard cracking. We looked at each other, starting to panic. We slowly turned around and saw that the bottom of the door had cracks all over it.

“Well,” I said, “I think we just got fired.”

“We did not, we didn’t do anything wrong!” Lily replied rolling her eyes, “When we go back inside I'll do all the talking...cuz you're not good at talking when it comes to stuff like this.”

“Hey!” I exclaimed, trying to protest. She raised an eyebrow and I conceited. Just as we were about to walk inside the east door, a neighbor from my street walked up to us. Now she's a very loud person, that's coming from a person who is usually the loudest person in the room.

“Mitchell! she exclaimed, “What did you do?!” The second she finished her sentence the glass inside the door collapsed, as if it was so weak that just the sound of her voice destroyed it. Admittedly some of the laughter that came because of this event was nervous laughter because I was thinking we might get in trouble, but honestly, this was hilarious laughter. Sometimes you shouldn’t say, “Well that's just my luck”, you have to laugh at the ridiculousness and your situation. To all my friends, be positive!

Have a Greattastic Day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

All Grown Up

All Grown Up

When I was a kid, my parents got my brothers and I a set of walkie talkies. I remember using them with my brothers and some of my brother Ryan’s friends. I loved pretending we were spies. Little did I know at the time that walkie talkies, something children use at play, would eventually make me feel like such an adult.

As of the posting of this blog, it has been exactly 44 days since I got on a plane and came back to Columbus Ohio after a two-week trip visiting my “sister” in Loveland Colorado. It was really sad for me to leave, but I knew I had to come back. Not just because Ohio is my home, but also because I made my “sister” Arden a promise…and I intended to keep it.

The next day I got up, grabbed my phone, and sent out a text to a friend of mine named Kathy. I've mentioned Kathy in previous posts. She works for Haugland Learning Center (HLC), which is the school for autistic children that I attended when I was originally diagnosed. I asked when would be a good time for me to call her, and we landed on the following Monday morning.

“Hey, Mitch!” She exclaimed when the day finally arrived.

“Hey, Kathy..” I said trying to figure out where to start, “so umm, I was wondering…. I mean, do you think it would be okay… I mean do you know if you have any job openings?”

“I’m pretty sure we have an opening in the Ace program… were you ever in Ace?”

“Is that the after-school program?”

“Yes! Let me check I will get back to you later!”

Later that day she texted me again confirming that they had an opening, and after a long wait finally, yesterday came… My background check went through two days ago and my new boss, Adycen asked me if I wanted to start a day early.

I walked into HLC at 2:30 on the dot and walked right to Adycen's office. Upon my entrance, she gave me a walkie-talkie. I don't think she realized until she saw the look on my face, the weight of what she had just done. Obviously, the walkie talkies are used for communication purposes (What else would we use them for? Decoration?). But, you have to understand for four years in my school life, I watched teachers carry these things. I don't think they were ever meant as symbols of authority, but I think they accidentally became one.

“Woah!” I exclaimed clutching it in my hand. And that was the moment I realized I have grown up!

Have a Greattastic day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri