Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 4: Introducing Emerald (Part 2)

 Introducing Emerald

On the night of October 15th, 2023, my “sister” August, who was nine months pregnant at the time, sat in a movie theater in Colorado watching Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour.  Her new husband, Daniel, was working, so she was alone. Knowing that my other “sisters,” Arden and Aspen, and I saw Taylor Swift when she came to Cincinnati (Rules for a Greattastic Life (Taylor's Version)), she imagined me in the chair next to her freaking out while watching the movie. It would have been so fun to see her live, she thought.

The next day, August called me, and we talked for about an hour and a half. “I can't believe you're having the baby next week!” I said.

“I know,” she replied. “When are you going to come out and meet her?” 

“Well, I'm speaking at OCALICONLINE again next month,” I explained, “and then Thanksgiving is the next week, and then I have my ear surgery, so… realistically, it won't be till next year.”

“Ugh. Well, you better come out as soon as possible!” August ordered

The baby was about a week late. I’m not going to go into too much detail for obvious reasons, but in the early morning of October 31, 2023, August gave birth to a baby girl. She was named Emerald McGowan. 

Last Friday, February 16th, 2024, my plane landed at Denver Airport, and August, Daniel, and Emerald picked me up. We got to their apartment about an hour later, and after having some dessert, we went to bed.

The next day, August and I got up around 11:00, had breakfast and coffee, got Emerald ready, and went hiking at Eldorado Canyon State Park. That night, Daniel‘s mom came over to watch Emerald while August, Daniel, and I went to a place called Bounce Empire. It’s basically just a bunch of bounce houses. Daniel works there, and after 10 PM, it’s for adults.

When I got back from Mass on Sunday, August, Emerald and I went to Red Rocks, which is a concert venue that’s built into a mountain. Despite having been to Colorado five times before, I had never been to Red Rocks. Emerald had not gotten a lot of sleep, so instead of using the baby harness, we kept her in her car seat in the stroller.

As we walked around Red Rocks, we eventually found ourselves at a set of stairs that led down to the stage. I’m a klutz so as August and I carried the stroller down, with Emerald still inside, I was being very careful. It was super crowded because it was Presidents’ Day weekend, and so we were creating a line. The social awkwardness of the situation made both of us bust out laughing. The best part was people were assuming that I was the father, so everyone was pretty concerned that two crazy people were raising a baby.

Now August is not my first peer to have a baby. As I've mentioned a few times, my cousin Paige had her first baby last June, and actually, August and my childhood neighbor Greg and his wife Temi had their first baby last month! A few of my middle and high school classmates had teen pregnancies, and my former coworker, Carly, is currently pregnant with her third child. There are a couple more examples, but my point is the teen pregnancies were not people I was super close with, Carly was already a mom when I met her, I don’t see Paige super often and Temi got pregnant after August did. In other words, August is my first peer that is a major fixture in my life that became a first time parent during our relationship.

Throughout our entire relationship, I have never been able to imagine August as a mother… to be fair, up until her pregnancy, she couldn’t either. And because she is my first major peer to become a first-time parent, when I left Columbus, I didn’t know what to expect. I don’t think I was expecting her to be a bad mom, but actually seeing her as a mom was surreal because she is so good at the job.

Emerald- it was so nice to meet you, I can't wait to see what Greattastic things life has in store for you. Love your “uncle”

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 3: The Anderson Women (Part 1)

 The Anderson Women

As many of you know, I grew up next door to four girls. Their names are August (McGowan), Arden, Aspen, and Arlo “Kid” Anderson. As I depicted in my first book, The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child, our families were really close at first, but then we started fighting. I thought that the girls were bullying me, and the girls thought that I was bullying them… If I'm being completely honest, there was fault on both sides. In seventh grade, I lied to them and told them I needed to make a movie for school because I wanted them to be my friends again, but I didn't know how to ask them without lying. While the girls did feel betrayed because I lied to them after we dealt with those feelings, we became inseparable, and in the present day, I see them as my “sisters.”

On Thursday, February 15th, my brothers, Paige and I, had dinner at my parents’ house with our other neighbors, Steven and Robin. Paige and I got there around 7:00, and Mom asked us to get the Chinese food at 7:30. Now, Dad and Josh really like hunting for Treasure with metal detectors. When we got back to my parents’ house, everyone told me that there was something they wanted me to see.

Josh had been using the metal detector, and he had found the back of a ceramic child’s teapot. My entire family and Stephen and Robin were all asking me variations of, “Do you know what that is?”

Based on what everyone told me and what I know about my younger self, this is what happened. There are a line of trees between my parent’s backyard and Stephen and Robin’s. August, Arden, Aspen, and possibly our other neighbor, Melody, were having a tea party under the trees. I got upset because my sworn enemies were in my territory. When I demanded that they leave, and they refused, I smashed the teapot, leading to yet another Anderson/Mitchell fight.

Now, most of that last paragraph is guesswork. All that I actually know is that I broke the teapot. I have asked my “sisters” about this event, and like me, none of them remember it, but based on everyone’s reaction at dinner, this was clearly a major event in my childhood. This could be because we fought so much growing up that all of them have all blurred together, but I believe that this shows how much we have grown.

The name of this season is To Be An Advocate in reference to me, wanting to start a nonprofit to expand my advocacy. Still, I think it’s important to point out that throughout our friendship, my “sisters” have become amazing autism advocates, especially in comparison to when we were little. All this to say I am proud of the women that they have become.

Kid is currently living with Paige and is making plans to travel this summer. Aspen just recently achieved the goal of becoming a realtor in the Cincinnati area. Arden is now a travel nurse and will be spending the next few months in Nashville. And August…well, August is a mom!

To Be Continued…

Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 2: Full Circle

 Full Circle

Friday, January 19th, 2024 happened to be a snow day. This made the day doubly great because not only was I able to hang out with Paige pretty much all day, but my brother Ryan's band Cousin Simple, had released their new EP Sugarcoat at midnight that day and I got to listen to it a lot more than I would have gotten to if I had to work. The following Monday, January 22, 2024, Will/Hash (frontman), Ryan (lead guitar), my other brother Luke (rhythm guitar & bass), and Dave (drums) left Columbus for a two week tour with a band called Wild Party.

The tour started in Memphis, Tennessee, they made about ten stops on the way to Canada, and the last show was scheduled for Saturday, February 10th, at Skully's Music Diner. Now that's really cool because Cousin Simple won a battle of the bands competition 7 years ago and that is what put them on the map. The final part of the battle of the bands competition was held at Skully's!

On Saturday, February 10, 2024, Paige and I got to my parents' house with the pizzas Mom had ordered around 6:30 PM. When we walked in we were greeted by my parents, my cousin Austin, Mom’s college roommate, Shannon and her husband Tim, our family friends Kristin and Tim (I know, it’s confusing), and Shannon‘s mother-in-law. After we ate and caught up for about an hour, we all headed to Skully’s.

We walked into the bar and I was pleasantly surprised that the floor was not as sticky as I remembered it being. I lost my group while buying a drink, but I found Paige and Austin at the back of the crowd right before Cousin Simple started playing.

Two or three songs in, Paige noticed the rest of our group standing next to my cousin's family, the Mitreys (Aunt Melissa, Uncle Andy, Alex, and his girlfriend, Emma, and Maci), by the side of the stage. We moved over there, and after saying hi, I noticed that one of Ryan‘s classmates’ siblings, Gabe, was standing right at the front of the crowd, and from that angle, I could make it to him. So at the first chance I got, I made my way through the crowd to the very front!

Later, as he does at nearly every show Will jumped into the crowd. The entire crowd converged on him, and because I was upfront, I got crushed. I bobbed and weaved so that I didn’t get trampled. When Will returned to the stage, and things had calmed down, I turned around and found myself staring at my brother Josh and his and Luke’s band mates from Box Seats, Freddie and Max!

After Cousin Simple finished playing Wild Party took the stage. They put on a really good show, although I had only heard one of their songs before. The boys have been on one major tour before, but I’m very happy for them because 1. They had a good time with Wild Party and 2. The tour ended with this full circle moment!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

You can listen to Cousin Simple’s new Ep Sugarcoat on Spotify and wherever you find your music!

Season 7 Be An Advocate Blog 1: A Quick Trip To Cleveland

 A Quick Trip To Cleveland

As I mentioned a few times, one of my coworkers at New Story was a girl named Savannah. She was one of my first friends when I started working at New Story during the 2021-22 school year. She and I became very close over the course of our first year working together, so much so that when she got married at the beginning of our second, I was invited to the wedding (A Wedding In Wooster).

About a year ago, I learned that Savannah and her husband, Liam, were planning to move to Cleveland, which inevitably happened last summer. On Wednesday, June 28, 2023, Savannah and I met for the last time before she moved that weekend. After getting lunch and hanging out for about an hour, we began walking back to our cars.

“Okay,” I said as we hugged goodbye, “I’m giving you 7 months to settle in, and then I’m coming up to visit you!”

“Looking forward to it!” She replied

Last Saturday, January 27th, 2024, I got to Savannah and Liam's house around 11:30. When I pulled up, Savannah texted me that her dogs, Milo and Korra, were going to be a bit crazy when they first met me. I reassured her that it wasn't a problem and walked in.

After meeting the dogs, Savannah showed me around the house. I said hi to Liam, and then Savannah and I went to the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. We saw a couple of 3D shows, I did a VR thing where I was a pterodactyl, and we walked around the museum. After the museum, we went to a Mexican restaurant. While we were there, we continued to catch up on how things were going in each other's lives. After returning to the house, we watched TV for a bit. Then we went to a sports bar for dinner, returned to the house, played Mario party, and watched a Bo Burnham comedy special.

Now back in A Wedding In Wooster, I mentioned that Savannah and Liam’s wedding was the first one I went to that I was not in the wedding party or a family member of the bride or groom. As a result, I felt a little out of place, but the fact that Savannah invited me made me feel better about her and my friendship. Another factor in me feeling out of place at the wedding, however, was that Savannah and Liam’s families are so neurotypical, and I didn’t have any previous connections to them that I just felt a little lost.

I didn’t mention it in that installment because I didn’t think the point that I’m about to make would mesh well with an installment about a wedding. The entire time I was visiting, Savannah was obviously anxious, making sure that I was comfortable. To be fair, I think this is just because she’s a good host/person, but I want to use it to explain what our friendship means to me.

There are some people in my life that I feel like are only my friends out of pity. Obviously, this does not include my family, people that I consider family, Paige, or most of my friends, but there are a handful that I just feel only keep a friendship with me because I have autism. Savannah is someone who, by all accounts, shouldn’t really be my friend. Yes, we got along and hung out a handful of times outside of work, but when you really get down to it, she's just my coworker.

What makes our friendship so special is how accepting Savannah is of me despite just being my coworker. She has always been there for me and has always been willing to give me advice. And when I ask for advice, she doesn't treat me like I'm an idiot because I misread a social cue. I'm not saying she's the only one, but when I think of my neurotypical friends who truly support me, Savannah is one of the first that I think of!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri