Season 7 To Be An Advocate Finale Part 2: Self Advocacy

 Self Advocacy

For New Year’s 2019, my family went down to Florida, and we have now tried to make it a yearly tradition. Obviously, we couldn’t go in 2020, and in 2021, we went down for my cousin’s wedding in October instead. In 2022, Dad hurt his back, so we couldn’t drive down. What I’m saying is that New Year's 2023 and ’24 are the first consecutive years we have been in Florida.

As I said in my second book, Once In A Lifetime: A Song For Sam, Dad’s best friend's daughter, Elizabeth, died on New Year’s Eve 2012. Before she died (and even after), Elizabeth helped me manage my grief after S.M. died. Every year, Elizabeth’s family has a memorial at her graveside on New Year’s Eve.

On Tuesday, December 31st, 2024, Mom, Dad, Ryan, Luke, Josh, Pop-pop, his partner Sara, and my Aunt Eva went to Elizabeth’s memorial. At the end of the memorial, I hugged Madison, Elizabeth’s older sister goodbye.

“We still still on for tomorrow?” She asked.

“Yes,” I replied, “but could you possibly pick me up? I don’t have a car down here.”

Now, before we continue, I need to tell you something about Madison and me. I used Madison as the surrogate main character in Once In A Lifetime, in the chapters about Elizabeth that I was not involved in. Because it was such an intense and private topic, I wanted to make sure Madison knew exactly what I would say about Elizabeth and why it was essential to the story. As a result, I had to be very vulnerable with Madison, and we have been very close ever since.

Madison picked me up at 1:30 on New Year’s Day 2025 at Eva, and Zach’s house and we drove to a nearby diner. While we were waiting for our table, Pop-pop and Sara walked in. After we greeted them, they asked if they could join our table, and we said yes.

Once we were seated, we talked about how Madison and her husband have been doing, the things Pop-pop and Sara have been doing, and then we started talking about how I’ve been. As I said in Part 1, I was not doing my best going into the new year. On the drive from Columbus to Orlando, I had a lot of time to think, and at this lunch, Madison, Pop-pop, and Sara helped me organize those thoughts:

We concluded that I didn’t learn the lesson from COVID that I needed to. From 2018-2023 I achieved more success than the previous year. From getting my dream job, publishing my books, starting this blog/podcast, public speaking, and in all of my relationships, I have been doing really well! I’m not saying that I didn’t have struggles during that time, but I always had my success to fall back on. The only year within that time period I regressed in my success level was 2020.

I didn’t take any responsibility for my lack of success during that year because all of it was out of my control. And while I have the self-awareness to forgive myself, I didn’t learn how to live without growing success. While I wasn’t unsuccessful in 2024, I was plateauing, and when I did run into stressful issues, I didn’t have as much success to lean on, causing me to spiral a lot. The name of this season was To Be An Advocate because I was planning on starting a nonprofit. That didn’t end up working out. But I learned a lesson from that failure: how can I advocate for others if I haven’t mastered advocating for myself?

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Finale Part 1: October-December

 October-December

Key: In this installment, Paige B= my cousin Paige

The last installment I wrote was about Cousin Simple playing Ace of Cups in early October. There are a few reasons, most of which I plan to go into eventually in some capacity. But for this first part of the season 7 finale, I wanted to summarize the remainder of my 2024.

Bentley In Columbus

A week after Cousin Simple played Ace of Cups, Paige B (who is expecting her second child in March), her husband Austin, and their first child, Bentley, came to Columbus for a visit. We had a ton of family dinners, but the most memorable part was Paige B, and Austin went to a football game out of state over the weekend, so Mom and Dad watched Bentley on that Friday and Saturday. They had to work on Friday, so Paige stayed at my parent's house and watched Bentley until I joined her and my parents got home. Watching him toddle about and explore the world was really fun, and I enjoyed having them all in town.

Halloween

Every year, Mom's side of the family has a Halloween party at my aunt Melissa's house. As a reminder, in 2023, every single couple dressed up as Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey since they were a new couple then. Inspired by that, Paige and I went as Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey in 2024, but with a twist; I went as Taylor. Until the day I die, I will never forget how shocked my entire family was when I walked in. We don't usually have a costume contest… but Paige and I definitely won!

Five Thanksgivings

November was a pretty chill month in general until the kick-off of the holiday season. The day before Thanksgiving, Paige and I went out to a couple bars with her Dad’s side of the family. Then, on Thanksgiving Day, we split the day between my family and her dad's side of the family. On Black Friday, we celebrated with her mom's side of the family. We had a “Friendsgiving” with Paige and Nicole's friend group on Saturday. By the end of it, we were both exhausted, but seeing everybody was great.

Wicked (The Movie)

As you may recall, I saw the theater production of  Wicked in 2022. I've always had the soul of a theater kid, though my high school did not have a theater program. Paige, on the other hand, did, in fact, participate in theater, and when we heard that there was a movie adaptation of Wicked coming out, we were both very excited. I was a bit hesitant, though. For one thing, I've never been a huge Ariana Grande fan. Nothing against her; she's just not my thing… But man, she won me over with this movie. The rest of the cinematography and acting were terrific, too! I think my only complaint is that it's a two-part movie. I mean, they did great with what they had, but I think because I know how the musical ends, this movie feels a little incomplete… Like, they kept it self-contained, and part 2 will work more as a sequel than a proper part 2, but still… The movie is just act one of the musical.

Emerald In Columbus

In a weird full circle moment, August, her husband Daniel, and their kid, Emerald, came to Columbus the weekend before Christmas. That Friday, Paige met Emerald, and then Paige, August, Daniel, and I went on a double date. Paige had to work most of the next day (she's been working at Panera since October), so August and I took Emerald and Daniel around the city.

While many great things happened toward the end of the year, I have been very overwhelmed since October. There are a lot of different reasons for that, most of them being my own fault. And going into the new year, I wasn't feeling my best.

To be continued…