Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 24: A Cosmic Twin

 A Cosmic Twin

OCALICONLINE is an international conference online that focuses on people with low-incidence disabilities, including autism. I have spoken at OCALICONLINE two times. The first time I did it in 2022, I spoke with my public speaking mentor, Dr. Brooks, and coincidentally, Noah’s (now former) soccer coach, Katie. The presentation was based on research that Katie did with Dr. Brooks about my impact on preservice teachers. Needless to say, I loved this opportunity and experience! Dr. Brooks and I talked about the possibility of eventually doing a research paper along the same lines as that first OCALICONLINE presentation, but fast forward to 2025, and that had still not happened. Quite honestly, I had almost forgotten about it.

In the middle of February 2025, Dr. Brooks responded to a public call for articles focusing on collaboration to be considered for a special edition of the Journal of Special Education Preparation (JOSEP), a higher education journal published by the teacher education division of the Council for Exceptional Children. It was a long shot, but she shared about how I collaborate with her class to talk about my personal experiences with autism and why this is an effective method in teacher education. Guess what? WE GOT PICKED!

Not only did the editors of JOSEP respond to Dr. Brooks, they paired us with a team from New York - a professor and a self-advocate who have the same type of collaboration as me and Dr. Brooks, but in Buffalo. Dr. Brooks - and I’ll call the other professor, Dr. Kabe - met in early April to talk about their college programs and collaborate about how these experiences could be shared in an article to help other college professors begin similar programs in their courses. Dr. Kabe works with an autistic woman named Kayleigh who comes and speaks in her class, just as I speak in Dr. Brooks’ class. Kayleigh and I mirror each other in ways that have many similarities, but differences at the same time.

Firstly, while I use speech to communicate, Kayleigh uses an AAC Device. An AAC (or Augmentative and Alternative Communication) device is an electronic device that often resembles an iPad that helps generate speech for those who are nonverbal. Second, while I started out in a public school setting and moved to a more segregated school (special ed), and back, she started segregated, went to a more public school setting, and bounced back and forth for the remainder of her career. As Dr. Brooks and Dr. Kabe started writing this joint article, they sent me and Kayleigh emails asking us interview questions that were included in the final draft of the article. They listed us as secondary authors in their publication, acknowledging our voices and the collaborative partnerships we help to create in university classrooms. After a lot of back and forth, including several reviews that addressed the feedback of three different editors, on Saturday, August 9, 2025, we got an email from JOSEP accepting the article! After making minor type edits, it was formally published on September 16, 2025. Information about the article can be found at the following links:

Link to our article (starting on page 50): https://openjournals.bsu.edu/JOSEP/issue/view/393/175

 JOSEP speaks podcast is also available. This is "AI" generated episode of each issue. https://open.spotify.com/show/7edqJAkTj9siYAJJ0xB1zG?si=86921051e9974947&nd=1&dlsi=ce69a8b64d6c4e78

I have named this season goals and dreams, as I am trying a new system to motivate myself to continue reaching new goals. I have always hoped to be published in a research paper since I started working with Dr. Brooks. After OCALICONLINE 2022, it was admittedly one of the only goals that I had hardcore giving up on and/or did not have a contingency plan to make it happen, even if it didn’t happen when I wanted it to. The fact that it did happen, with almost zero intervention from me, has emboldened me in my effort to reach my other goals.

What’s also cool about this particular goal is that it brought me and Kayleigh together. We are two people, who are seven years apart, three states away, and on different parts of the autism spectrum, and yet we have very similar life experiences. I believe that Kayleigh is a cosmic twin of mine, and I am so grateful our paths have crossed. 

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 23: Cousin Simple+ Nimba & Lexi

 Cousin Simple + Nimba & Lexi

Cousin Simple has been around since 2017, my junior year of high school (Ewww). In those 8 years, my cousin Lexi has never been to a show! On Saturday, September 6th, 2025, Cousin Simple was playing at Ace Of Cups again. I texted Mom to ask if she had gotten tickets. When she told me that she had, she informed me that Nimba and Lexi were also coming!

At 6:00 p.m., Paige and I walked to a local restaurant called Hound Dogs Pizza. Mom and Dad were already there with one of Aunt Shana’s best friends, Angie, and her sister Heather. When Nimba and Lexi arrived, we all greeted them, and then we ordered our food. About an hour later, after we had finished, we walked to Ace Of Cups, which was not too far away. 

Now, Cousin Simple is releasing their Newest EP over the course of the rest of the year. The first song on this new EP is called 011, it's about pickleball, and it was released at the beginning of the summer. The night before this show, they released the second song, Back In Style. While this Ace of Cups show was headlined by another band, Cousin Simple used it as their Back in Style release show. 

Almost as soon as we walked in, I ran into my music teacher from OLP, who I referred to in my books as Mrs. Millington. I haven’t mentioned Mrs. Millington by name in Rules for a Greattastic Life, though I have run into her a lot over the last few years. A big reason for that is because she married a good friend of my public speaking mentor, Dr. Brooks, and she lives relatively close to my parents. After we talked about Paige and my wedding plans, we talked about the engagement of my friend and former classmate Anna, and the three pregnancies from my class that have happened this year. “This is so strange for me,” she said, “I've known you all since you were like five or six, and now you’re off getting married and having babies!”

After we talked to the other family and friends of Cousin Simple, the band got on stage and started to play. Now, in the installment Ace Of Cups 2: PTJ, I said that Mitch Whittaker, a member of the band from the very beginning, left the band at the end of summer 2024, to go to school in Chicago to be an optometrist. Over this last summer, however, Mitch appeared in the music video for 011 and has played with the band a handful of times. I bring this up because he played with them at this show.

As I watched him play with the band, I thought back on Mrs. Millington‘s nostalgia for myself, Anna, and our three other classmates, and I looked over at Lexi. Lexi was the first baby that I ever held, and I’m so proud of how far she’s come, especially over this very difficult year for our family. I’m glad that she finally got to see Cousin Simple after eight years!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 22: Pokémon

 Pokémon

On Friday, August 22nd, 2025, one of Paige’s childhood friends, let's call her Miranda, texted her and asked if she wanted to hang out that night. While that night didn’t work out, they scheduled a hangout for the following Friday. Not wanting to intrude, I reached out to my friend Clo and asked her if she wanted to hang out.

Now, for her own personal reasons, Clo moved in with her grandma a few months back. At 6:30, on August 29th, I left the apartment, got some bubble tea, and arrived at Clo’s grandma’s house around 7:15. What I thought was going to happen was, we would drink our Boba, maybe go on a walk, and talk about an installment I want Clo to write about her experiences as an autistic woman. Clo had other ideas.

“So,” Clo explained almost as soon as I was inside, “over the last year or so, I have been collecting a group of other autistics-”

“We’re not Pokémon,” I interrupted.

She laughed and continued, “I really think you’ll like them.”

Always wanting to meet new people, I agreed to go out. Before we left, Clo gave me an extra pair of noise-canceling headphones for me to keep. Clo’s grandma lives in an area that I am not used to, so Clo drove my car to where we were going. After driving for about 15 minutes, I asked where we were going, and she replied, “The Convention Center.” 

After we parked, we walked up to the convention center, and the door was locked. Someone saw us, opened the door, and dramatically hugged and greeted us as if she’d known us for years. It wasn’t until we walked away from her that I realized we had snuck in. As we walked around, I saw a ton of people cosplaying as comic book, movie, and anime characters. I do, in fact, consider myself a nerd, but I have never been a cosplayer, so while walking into that world was a bit overwhelming, I definitely had fun.

Clo introduced me to her friends. There were about 10 of them, and we spent the rest of the night wandering around, and it was so overstimulating that I can't remember all of their names. But that’s kinda the point… they didn't care. Now major disclaimer: What I am about to write is NOT a dig on any of my friends or family. I would say that, generally speaking, I’m a very confident person. But I have cultivated that confidence, over the course of my life, as a way to help mask my autism. I work at a school for kids with autism that I went to as a kid, and I'm very comfortable around Paige (I mean, I ought to be, I'm marrying her). My point is, I don't mask my autism as much as I used to.

I love being confident, and it's a huge part of who I am. But because it is so tied to my mask, it can get tiring being the most outgoing, confident person in the room all the time. In almost every relationship, there are expectations, and that's not a bad thing. But the beauty of Clo and my friendship is that because she is autistic, and she understands masking, she has no expectations about me doing it! I don’t have to be overly confident all the time when we hang out. After we left the Convention Center, I thought about my Pokémon joke. I realized that in the Autism community, generally speaking, friends are like Pokémon. Because we crave connection, there is this desperate desire to “Catch ‘em all,” and sometimes it’s really exhausting. I’m thankful that Clo introduced me to a group of friends that understand how that feels and were very accepting because of that.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 21: Mitchmas (28) Part 2: Lost At Deer Creek

 Mitchmas (28) Part 2: Lost At Deer Creek

Now, as you know, I usually go on a Mitchmas trip with my “sisters,” the weekend after my birthday.  Arden has always been the planner for group outings, but in her happily ever after with Marshall, she has retired from that role. While I am going to start planning things for the group, even though Arden arguably gave me enough warning, I was not prepared.

On Saturday, August 23, 2025, at 1:00 pm, I went to Noah's house and, after picking him up, we drove to my old Kroger. After being stopped by at least 5 of my old coworkers, we finally got all of our snacks and were on our way. Now, a couple years ago, Noah and I went canoeing together, which in and of itself is a very funny story that I would like to tell at some point in the future. We drove from Kroger all the way to Trapper John’s in Grove City, which is just south of Columbus. 

We pulled up to Trapper John’s at around 3:00. When we walked into the welcome center, there was a group of employees playing cards. “We would like to rent a canoe, please,” I said.

“Unfortunately,” an employee said, “the river is too low, so there are no more groups going out today.”

“Well, that was a bust,” Noah said as we walked back to my car. I agreed. Despite that, we were both determined not to waste the day.

Deer Creek State Park is about an hour and a half away from Columbus, and another 20 minutes or so from Trapper John’s. We were already in our bathing suits, so we decided to go to Deer Creek Beach. We got to Deer Creek at 4:00. The State Park has a ton of trails and campgrounds, on top of having the beach. It is no surprise then that I got lost!

After another hour of driving around and a very sarcastic camper who told me, “Maybe you should follow the signs,” (which I would have done if I had seen them), we finally found the beach, and we proceeded to have an amazing day!

Like I said, usually my sisters and I do something to celebrate Mitchmas. While I am currently looking for something for us to do when all of our busy schedules line up, again, as Noah and I had our fun beach day, I realized I want to expand my Mitchmas celebrations. I love the Andersons, and I love spending my birthdays with them. But at the same time, we don't live next-door to each other anymore, and I have more friends than just them. I said in part 1 that my birthday has become more about celebrating with my friends and family than being narratively important to my overall life story. I would like to expand that to more friends in the coming years!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 20: Mitchmas (28) Part 1: The People In Your Corner

 Mitchmas (28) Part 1: The People In Your Corner

I woke up on my 28th birthday, at 6:00 a.m. After greeting our cat Charlie and saying good morning to Paige, I got ready for work. As I walked out of our apartment, I opened the Starbucks app and ordered my summer drink (a vanilla sweet cream cold brew). Usually, I get a Grande, but because it was free, I got a Venti. When I got to work, I got out of my car and pulled up the time clock app on my phone, so that I could clock in as soon as I was in the building. I put my coffee on the top of my car, where I always do, but because it was a bigger size, it was a little more weight than I was used to, and I didn’t balance it right. As my coffee poured down my car, a coworker yelled, “Merry Mitchmas!”

I picked Paige up from work at 4:15, and when she saw my back car window, mocking me, she laughed and bought me some replacement coffee. At around 5:45, Paige and I got dressed up and drove down to Barnes & Noble. Now, because I do so much writing, I can't read anymore. What I mean is, if I'm reading something that I personally have not written, I feel like I'm being lazy because I “should” be editing. When I was a kid, my neighbor Greg got me into Harry Potter, but Goblet of Fire was too long and a little too political for my third-grade self to wrap his head around. When Paige and I started dating and I told her I only got through year three (the third book), she convinced me to try again, and by October of ‘23, I had listened to all seven on Libby. Ever since then, I have listened to countless books in the car, on my way to and from work. Despite this, I do want to start getting books that I've read in physical copies to build a collection.

Paige ended up getting me two books that I've read before. All Good People Here, By Ashley Flowers, and Dracula. What's really cool about my Dracula book is, Barnes & Noble has a line of specialty prints of books called Barnes & Noble exclusives, and they can only be described as bible style bindings. They're huge books and they're very ornate. Barnes & Noble’s Dracula is a bright red, and the edge of the pages are lined with black.

Another bible-style binding that they have, though it's not necessarily a Barnes and Noble exclusive, is Les Mis. Everyone who was cast in the 2012 adaptation (Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway, Eddie Redmayne, etc.) has a theater background, except for Russell Crowe. So while his singing in the movie isn't terrible, in comparison to everyone else, it's not great. While I was trying to decide what bible-style book I was going to get, a couple of guys walked in and made comments about how cool these books looked, and I laughed at a couple of their jokes. They saw Les Mis, and one guy said to the other, “Does this sing if you open it?”

Before I could stop myself, I said, “Yeah, but it's just Russell Crowe!” Instant best friends.

After we bought the books and a candle, we went to Bravo, which was in the same parking lot as the Barnes & Noble. Noah and the rest of my family were in attendance. After dinner, we went back to my parents’ house, and the boys went back to Ryan's apartment to get his new cat, Alfie. I opened presents, thanked everyone, had ice cream cake, tried to get our family cat Sammie used to Alfie, and just enjoyed everyone's company. 

Since Mitchmas (24), I have done multiple part stories about my birthday. Part 1 is almost always this exact installment. It's about my family going to dinner with Noah (and in later years, Paige), and going to my parents’ house afterwards. While this installment is in and of itself repetitive, over the years, the lesson has become more concentrated. Let me explain.

A few weeks before my family and Noah went to dinner in part one of Mitchmas (24), I broke up with my crazy ex-girlfriend, and during the dinner, I was in the middle of getting a restraining order. The entirety of Mitchmas (25) was built around a date that I had right before my birthday, that bled into the celebrations, and that led my ”sisters” to convince me to work on myself before I started dating again. Since both of those examples are about failed relationships, it is not lost on me that being in a stable relationship with Paige is the reason for the last three Mitchmaes being calm. But my point is, Mitchmas has become less connected to my overarching life story and more about celebrating with friends and family. And honestly, isn't that what it's all about?

To Be Continued…