The Other Guy (Part 1)
As I’ve mentioned before I broke up with my most recent girlfriend Gabby on my family's summer vacation this year (Swimmer's Ear). I have also talked about the fact that the break-up unearthed a few insecurities (Come To My Office). While I knew I wanted to fix those insecurities, I didn't really know how. Another thing that I haven't talked about yet, but I feel is important, is my relationship with Gabby was essentially just a crush… I never fell in love with her. This makes it even more complicated because I don't know why I'm sad since I don't miss her romantically.
I know I've talked about this a lot, but my relationship before the one with Gabby, ended with me getting a restraining order. Well, she and I broke up on August 5th of last year. At the end of July with the anniversary of that break-up, the stalking, and all of the other trauma I experienced coming up, I got really upset. That fused with my insecurities about the Gabby situation and caused me to spiral. I decided that the best way to cope with the spiral was to get back on the dating apps (cuz that's healthy).
Almost immediately, I matched with a girl named Lauren. I asked Lauren what her favorite kind of music was, and she said that alternative rock was one of them. I told her that my brother is in a fairly successful alt-rock band. She asked for the band’s name, I told her Cousin Simple, and this led to the reveal that Lauren's sister almost went to prom with Ryan! We continued messaging and I found out that she knows a ton of people that I know from grade school cuz she went to high school with them. I thought to myself, if she was crazy on any level, because of our mutual connections I would have at least heard about it at this point! Feeling confident and safe, I decided to ask her on a date.
On Monday, August 8th, Lauren and I met up at a restaurant. We had decided just to meet at the restaurant’s bar, get a few drinks, and get to know each other. Now I'm a bit of a lightweight and I still needed to drive home. We both finished our second drink and when the bartender came back around, Lauren asked for her third. The bartender looked at me, and I asked for a water. When Lauren asked why I was getting water, I said, “Well, with this ending soon…”
“Awww, you want this to end soon?” she interrupted.
“I mean no,” I replied, “but I need to start coming down so I can drive home without dying!”
The more alcohol that I consume, the more autistic I get because I'm not as worried about masking my autism (not that I worry about it a lot anyway). So when I said, “I need to start coming down so I can drive home without dying!” I was a little more jumpy than I had been before.
“You were a little far away when you said that…” she said.
I looked at her and said, “Do you want me to come closer?”
After we kissed, we both felt a little more confident, so we started talking a bit more openly. During this time she asked me if I was seeing anyone else. “No,” I replied, “are you?” There was in fact another guy. I wasn't uncomfortable with that as dating around is normal… The issue was this guy lives in Pittsburgh and because they had never met before he was coming to Columbus on Wednesday and staying until Sunday. Lauren said that it was between me and this guy and she would choose the next week.
I met up with her one more time before she met this other guy and we texted sporadically, while they were hanging out. I kind of got the feeling that she was leading me on. They ended up having a fight in the middle of the weekend so he left early. Despite that, however, my suspicions were confirmed when she told me the next week that she was not interested in a relationship with me. Now obviously Lauren doesn't owe me a relationship, but I was upset that she didn't come out and say that she wasn't interested earlier, since it was so obvious. I'm not saying any of this to attack Lauren, she's actually a really nice person and I could see us being friends. The only reason I bring any of this up is so you understand how I was feeling leading into my birthday…
To be continued…
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