Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 6: Michelle

 Michelle

Nicole is Paige’s best friend; in fact, she is Paige’s “sister” in the same way the Andersons are mine, and she is her maid of honor. She has been a major part of Paige and my love story. First and foremost, she helped me ask Paige to be my girlfriend (The Scroll). While I mentioned her twice last season, her last full appearance was in the first part of the Season 7 finale, October-December. I wanted to take this installment to catch up with Nicole and show how she has been helping us in our engagement.

On Sunday, January 26, 2025, Paige and I took my cousins, Lexi and Caitlynn, to the mall to help Caitlynn get something for my grandpa‘s funeral the next day. Toward the end of our trip, we wanted Starbucks, and when my order came up, the barista called me “Michelle.” Then on that Friday, January 31, Paige and I went out to Pins to celebrate Clo’s birthday (They Grow Up So Fast). When we left Pins, Clo wanted Cane‘s, so we went there. I ordered, and as Paige and I were telling Clo the Starbucks story, wouldn’t you know it, one of the Cane’s employees yelled, “Order for Michelle.”

Now, earlier that month, Nicole had started dating a guy, who we’ll call Carson. The day after we hung out with Clo, Paige, and I went out to dinner with Nicole, Carson, and one of Nicole's friends at a restaurant that, ironically, was in the same mall we had been to on Sunday.

I was out here making a great first impression. The whole table was laughing, and they were all loving me, and it was awesome. Having known Carson now for over a year, I've come to the conclusion that he is a very funny person, but I don’t think he was ready for me to be as funny as I was that night. At some point, Paige told the whole Michelle story.

Now I wish I could remember the setup for this. I don’t remember exactly what was said, but after Paige told that story, Carson kept calling me “Michelle.” At some point, I said something, and Carson jokingly asked, “Michelle, are you pregnant?”

What I said next came out of my mouth before my brain had processed what I was thinking. “Yes,” I replied, “and Nicole’s the father!”

That comment solidified Carson and my friendship. And I would like to add this little bit has not stopped. Every couple of months, some random person in the food service industry, not to mention Carson, calls me Michelle, and it’s hilarious.

Nicole continues to be a major part of our story. On May 9th, 2025, Nicole kidnapped Paige, got her into the dress that she wanted to be in, got her nails painted, and drove Paige to Good Night John Boy, the bar that Paige and I had a first date at. Once Paige walked in, she and I started a scavenger hunt that ended with me proposing to her (The Scroll Of Proposal). About a month after Paige and I got engaged, Carson proposed to Nicole. Over last summer, Nicole figured out most of her and Carson’s wedding stuff, while Paige and I were getting very overwhelmed. While Paige and I were on my family vacation in July, I talked on the phone with Nicole for like an hour, and she helped me with some of the anxieties. And that is on top of the usual maid-of-honor duties. I know they already went wedding dress shopping; she has been there for some meetings we had with our parents, and she has continued to give us advice on managing wedding-planning anxiety.

There are a lot of people who are supporting Paige and I, and we appreciate all of them. Over the last few months, I’ve learned that having another 2026 bride on the team has been a huge asset for us!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe,

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

 

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 5: Snowmageddon

 Snowmageddon

This was not supposed to be the fifth installment for this season. I, in fact, have already written the installment that is now the sixth and already told the subject of that installment that it is the fifth (sorry, Nicole), but last week was too weird not to write about! On Saturday, January 24th, 2026, I picked up Noah at his apartment, and we went to a nearby Starbucks. We had been trying to hang out since Christmas, and with the blizzard expected to hit that night, we weren't sure when we'd see each other next.

“So do you think you're going to work Monday?” Noah asked.

“I think we'll get Monday off,” I said, “but I think anything else might be a bit of a stretch.”

At 4:00, I went with Paige, and my parents went to Mass at OLP. There were two reasons for this. 1. Obviously, because of the snowstorm, Paige and I were a little worried that we were not going to be able to get to our church the next day. 2. That weekend, Our Lady of Peace celebrated their 80th anniversary, and so the Bishop was the celebrant for the Mass. It was kind of weird for me because I was struggling to wrap my head around the fact that my entire time as a student and an educator there happened so early in the parish's history. Like, there's an argument to be made that in 200 years, my time at OLP could be considered part of “the early years.”

When Mass ended, Paige and I drove back to our apartment, and I put my windshield wipers up. We spent the night watching TV and keeping watch out the window, waiting for the first snowflakes to fall. Now Paige and my apartment complex, Summit Crest Apartments, is huge, but it's kind of tucked away. I've driven/ridden my bike past it since I was a teenager (though probably before that), but I didn’t know it was there until Paige and I signed our first lease. Honestly, I wouldn't even call it Columbus, it's kind of like its own little pocket Universe.

Anywho, because it's so blocked off, we have a private snowplow operator. On Monday, the 26th, not sure if I had to go to work the next day, I went out to see if my car could actually get out, and it had been completely boxed in by the snowplow. Mom and Dad came to help me out just in case, and I was really thankful for that. I did not have to go to school the next day. In fact, I did not have to go to school until February 2. Because of this, while I know other things that happened during this week, I have no sense of when they happened. 

One day, Paige wasn't feeling too good, so I had to trudge through this shin-deep snow to get her some Pedialyte from a nearby store. On another day, we met up with Nicole at Roosters to talk about wedding stuff (which, honestly, is a good lead-in to next week's installment; I'm kind of glad it happened this way now that I think about it). Paige and I also figured out how many invitations we need to send out for the wedding, and I did a ton of writing. I worked on upcoming projects, talked to Kid about the cover for Greattastic Adventures 3, wrote the first six installments for this season, and recorded the first three.  Also, this isn't important at all, but I kind of want to vent. I had no idea that you could schedule podcast posts until I released For Papa. Like, oh my gosh, that's going to make posting days so much easier now, cuz I can just upload the podcast beforehand, but I'm just really upset that I'm figuring this out 9 seasons in!

When I was a kid, after a shower I would turn the water off, grab a towel, cover myself in it like a blanket, lay on floor and take like a 10 minute power nap, much to the dismay of my father (I don't think he knew what I was doing), and then I would continue with my day as if nothing happened. A few months ago, Paige asked me, “Why do you always take so long in the car?” What I'll do is park, and she will get out of the car, and I will scroll on social media for anywhere from 10 to 15 minutes before she calls me and asks what's going on. The answer to both of these situations is that transitioning is hard for autistic people. The transition from warm (the shower) to being naked and cold is… I don't know… scary feels like a dramatic word, but I can't think of another one right now. And when I sit in the car, it's not that I don't want to get out; it just takes me a bit to actually do it. While transitions are a pretty big problem, I think there's another issue, too.

Time is a social construct. Yes, for astrological purposes, there are mornings, noons, and nights; throughout the year, the seasons change, and cause and effect are real things, but the fact that I am writing this sentence at 11:37 on a Thursday in January of 2026 is genuinely nonsense. It doesn't mean anything. Time exists to keep society moving, and while that is necessary, it is not something that autistic people innately understand. We feel like we get it when our schedules are running normally, but as soon as snowmageddon hits, we lose all sense of time. Or at the very least, I did.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 4: Swimmer’s Ear Update 2

 Swimmer’s Ear Update 2

Growing up, I was notorious for getting ear infections. I probably had one every couple of months, and it got so bad that I needed to get tubes put in 3 times. In 2019, my immediate family and my cousin’s family, the Mitreys, went on a vacation to Hatteras, North Carolina. At one point, Ryan, Nicholas, Josh, and I had a chicken fight. Nicholas and I were the tops, and as we were roughhousing, Nicholas grabbed my head and slammed it into the water, right ear first. After that, I had complications with my right ear whenever I went into the water.

In the summer of 2022, my family went on a trip to the Mitrey's Lake House in Norris Lake, Tennessee. On the first day, I went tubing and fell off the tube. A wave crashed on the right side of my head, and you guessed it, my ear filled up with water. I ended up getting an ear infection, and I was miserable the entire week. Everything I have just explained was in the original Swimmer's Ear installment.

In November 2023, I had surgery with the doctor who had given me tubes when I was a kid because it turned out the tubes were the reason my eardrum was weak enough to explode in the first place. For all of 2024, in the first half of 2025, my check-ups were normal.

Around the time Paige and I got engaged, my ear felt very clogged up. My sister-in-law (is she my sister-in-law?… she’s my brother-in-law’s long-term girlfriend… not the point… anyways…), my sister-in-law, Yvanna, who is in PA school, checked my ear out, and there was an unnatural amount of earwax and fluid in there. I set up an appointment with Dr. Blaze, and he cleared my ear and scheduled another check-up. 

On Tuesday, January 20, 2026, I walked into Dr. Blaze‘s office at 7:30 am for my 7:45 appointment. I got checked in, Dr. Blaze checked me out, I opted for a hearing test (just to be safe), and then Dr. Blaze told me, “Well, everything‘s looking good. I don’t think you’ll need to see me anymore!” 

As I turned on my car and pulled out of the parking lot on my way to work, I looked at his office in my rearview mirror. I knew eventually my ear would be fine enough that I wouldn’t have to see Dr. Blaze again, but I genuinely didn't think I would do a second Swimmer Ear Update. Swimmers Ear Update 1 was necessary because the story that I followed from the original Swimmers Ear was my breakup with Gabby, so I had to go back and explain, “hey, my ear is still messed up,” before I wrote the installment about the surgery (Out Of My Mind). This epilogue, from a narrative perspective, isn’t necessary; it is implied by Out Of My Mind.

I still wrote this installment because I feel like it fits the theme of this season very well. 2019, the same year that my ear busted the first time, was when I started Rules for a Greattastic Life. In other words, even though I didn’t mention it until season 5, it has been something that I’ve been dealing with my entire young adult life, and I think that it’s fitting that this all wrapped up right before I transition into married life. 

Have a Greattastic day and be safe.

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 3: Best Man

 Best Man

Paige and I bought our books from Barnes and Noble and walked to the car. Once the car was on, I pulled up detections to Ryan’s apartment. As I began to drive, I thought back to last November. On Saturday, November 22, 2025, Paige and I got up and got ready for a pretty big day. First, we were going to meet with the priest, who is going to marry us, Father David, and then we were going to go down to Cincinnati for a Friendsgiving with my “sisters” (False Safety or Right Where We Left Off (Refresher)). 

This was the first meeting we had with Fr. David, so it was mostly just him getting to know us as a couple and getting some preliminary information about the wedding. “Who are the Best Man and Maid of Honor going to be?” he asked during the meeting.

Now, there have been many different iterations of what we thought our wedding would/should look like. In every single alternate, the only constant was that Ryan was going to be my best man, and her best friend Nicole would be Maid of Honor. We were planning on not telling either of them until we had a solidified date, which didn’t happen until this meeting. On the drive to Cincinnati, Paige and I decided that we would talk to Ryan after my Florida family went home after the holiday.

The next day, Sunday, November 23, at around 4:40 p.m., Paige and I drove to my parents' house, because Pop-pop, Sara, Eva, and Zach were already in town. When we walked into the living room, Ryan was sitting on a couch talking to Pop-pop, who was on another couch.

“Fancy seeing you here!” Pop-pop said to us. We laughed at Pop-pop‘s reference to him and Sara saving Paige and I when we got stuck in Orlando a month prior, and we hugged him. We ended up both sitting down on the couch with Ryan, and he was between us. As Paige and I had been engaged since May, the topic of the wedding came up. Once all the details that we knew about the wedding at the time were discussed, there was about a 15-second break in the conversation. At about second 11, Paige sent me a text, and it pinged my Apple Watch around second 14. It read: Maybe ask him today? At second 15, as I was still trying to process what Paige was saying, Pop-pop asked, “So who’s the best man and the maid of honor?”

I immediately got awkward, I’m pretty sure Paige started laughing, and Ryan started side-eyeing both of us. And that’s how Ryan found out that he was going to be my best man!

Paige and I parked outside of Ryan’s apartment. We walked in, played Blokus, and talked about plans for the wedding and my bachelor party, and I couldn’t help my smile. Ryan is someone who I have always looked up to, despite some weird Cousin Simple insecurities I used to have. I am happy that on Paige and my big day, Ryan will be standing next to me.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 2: Date At Barnes & Noble

 Date At Barnes & Noble

My former coworker, Clo, and I had a falling out a couple of years ago, due to her ex. This same ex always made her own birthday a huge deal, and kind of ignored Clo’s. Clo’s birthday is January 16, and last year, Paige and I celebrated Clo's birthday with her, as kind of a way to make up for the fact that I had never celebrated it when she and Lucy were dating (They Grow Up So Fast).

Usually, Clo, Paige, and I do see each other between installments, but between her previous appearance in Pokémon and Christmas, Clo had gone dark. I texted Clo Merry Christmas, and she told me that she is going through a little bit of burnout because she went back to school for engineering! As we continued talking, we made tentative plans to hang out on her birthday, which didn’t exactly pan out.

On Friday, January 16, 2026, I lost track of time after work. See, Paige had been working night shifts basically that entire week, so I got in the habit of staying a little later. Paige called me around 4:45 and asked me when I would be home. I left shortly after and asked her if she wanted me to get any drinks from the store.

When I got to the store, I called her, and we remained on the phone the entire time. At some point during this conversation, she asked, “Well, since things with Clo clearly aren’t going to come together, what do you want to do tonight?”

We went back-and-forth before eventually I suggested, “Why don’t we use some of the Christmas money to go to Barnes & Noble, and then see if Ryan’s available to hang out and talk.” 

Paige liked the idea, so I texted Ryan, picked her up, got a little snack, and then we drove to Barnes & Noble. Now Paige and I are both book nerds. Last year I read 47 books (by this date I was starting my 3rd book for ‘26) and Paige can usually get through a book in a day.  I read most books via a book on tape because if I try reading a physical book that I didn’t write, I feel like I’m being lazy because I should be writing/editing. So the books that I buy are usually ones that I’ve already read to build up my collection physically.

I wanted to write this installment because autistic people are people of habit. Paige and I have lived together for almost 2 years now, and sometimes it’s easy to just spend time with each other at the apartment and get stuck in the habit of counting that as a date. With all the stress of wedding planning, on top of regular life responsibilities, it has been difficult for us… okay fine me… to initiate dates. I’m glad that going into our marriage, we have begun to once again go on dates! 

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Season 9 The Age Of Weddings Blog 1: The Age Of Weddings

 The Age Of Weddings

The age of weddings is a term that I came up with early in my adult life, but I first referenced it in the Season 3 Premiere, Hope In Crisis. That installment was my aunt Eva’s wedding, the first wedding installment I wrote. This was the explanation I wrote: “Most people in their life experience something that I call the age of weddings.”  You know, that period of time when all of your friends are getting married. Eva is 27, and I'm about to turn 23. Because we are relatively close in age, and because I'm old enough to really enjoy weddings now, Eva and Zach’s wedding was going to kick off my “age of weddings.” 

Two housekeeping things before we continue. 1. Just as a refresher, I was talking about Eva and Zach’s wedding in the past tense because the wedding that happened was a Zoom wedding since it happened in April 2020. 2. Something that I hadn’t noticed, until I lifted that quote was I’m only going to be a year older than Eva was at her wedding at mine… which is crazy conceptually.

Expanding upon the Age Of Weddings concept a little bit, at the time of Hope In Crisis, I believed that while everyone’s personal Age Of Weddings doesn’t necessarily end with their own wedding, it is the crown jewel of their personal Age Of Weddings. As a result, I have always planned on calling the season that I get married in The Age Of Weddings.

Now, despite there being about 5 years between Eva and Zach’s wedding and Paige and my engagement, my view of weddings didn’t really change. While I like the concept of the Age Of Weddings, its simplicity left me a little ignorant to how complicated wedding planning can be. 

While Paige was/is the definitely more aware of the reality of the situation, I think heading into my proposal, I believed that I was prepared for the shift from Paige's boyfriend to her husband, and I was viewing fiancé life as a kind of an in-between phase, as opposed to an entirely new relationship dynamic. So when the time came for us to actually start planning a wedding in early June, I became very overwhelmed as the reality of wedding planning hit, and as a result, we got very behind with planning.

I stood at the altar, and Paige walked down the aisle. Our priest said, “If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your pe-“ Before he had finished, my ex, who I got a restraining order against, ran through the door.

I woke up with a start at about 3:00 am on Tuesday, January 13, 2026. By this point Paige and I had had a couple of meetings with our parents, and we had a rough outline for the wedding, but it was still not anywhere near where we had initially planned to be with the wedding as close as it is.

I don’t have a real ending to this installment. I am aware that everybody who is planning a wedding is going to feel at least some level of stress, and despite how cliché it is, my anxiety, taking the form of my crazy ex, seems kind of fitting. Nonetheless, I am happy that my friends and family have Paige and my backs, as we start this next chapter! 

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Greattastic Life Special Edition: For Papa

    Greattastic Life Special Edition: For Papa

A year ago, my Grandpa, Papa, passed away. At the time of his passing, I had 8 Grandparent figures. I was fortunate to have had that many, but his passing marked my first grandparent who died (not counting great grandparents, obviously). It also marked the first death of my adult life besides a friend of mine that I was able to roll into Once In A Lifetime as an epilogue. I wrote an installment about Papa’s funeral, but in the moment I realized, I didn’t want to document every funeral, because it wouldn’t be as meaningful if I was just describing the funerals, every single time. In the Christmas special, I said that I was having trouble processing Papa and Aunt Shana’s deaths because they are different from the deaths that are depicted in Once In A Lifetime. Because writing Once In A Lifetime helped me process my grief about S.M. and the others, and not wanting to depict every single funeral that happens for the rest of my life, I decided that I would write an installment depicting the lives of each person who dies from this point on. As kind of a way to commemorate who they were before me.

Jack Savage was born on March 30th, 1953, to Martha and John Savage Sr, and he was one of four boys. Everyone who young Jack met was a friend. I would say that I am a confident person, but my confidence, at least on some level, is a form of autistic masking, and as a consequence, is always a bit of an overcompensation. Jack's was different. It came to him naturally; he is almost the textbook definition of a people person.

Jack was a very avid sportsman. In high school, he excelled at basketball, football, and baseball. He went to Ohio University and played on the baseball team. Growing up, I knew that he almost made it to the major leagues, but at his funeral, oh my gosh, the number of newspaper clippings and other articles documenting his sports journey was something I was not ready for.

In 1976, Jack met a woman named Bev Opper. Bev was a single mother of three, living in a not-so-desirable part of town. Jack and Bev began dating, he helped the family get into a better neighborhood, and in 1977, Jack and Bev got married. For their honeymoon, they went on a cabin trip in Heuston Woods, and from what Nimba has told me, it was a really fun trip. While Jack became a stepfather to Bev's children, Bob, Sandra, and Melissa, he and Bev would eventually have two daughters of their own, Shana and Cyndi. On June 22nd, 1979, Shana Marie Savage was born.

My initial idea for this installment was to go over Papa's entire life before I was born. Shana’s death changed that plan a little bit. I will be doing another installment about her life and continuing his later. While this installment is effectively just a second obituary, I have enjoyed writing it. Even though it is just an overview and not very detailed, because I was not there for any of the events of this installment, I hope that it gives a brief and accurate glimpse into Papa's young life before Shana was born.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe, 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT.

This story will continue in Greattastic Life Special Edition: For Shana, in May!

Rules for a Greattastic Life Season 9 is coming soon!

For Papa Trailer

 For Papa Trailer

As I explained in the Christmas Special, most of the deaths that I have experienced in my life happened during my childhood (The Greattastic Adventures) as opposed to my adulthood (Rules for a Greattastic Life). The only exception was a guy named Henry, who died in 2021. However, he was a childhood friend, so I just included him in the Epilogue of my second book, Once in a Lifetime: A Song For Sam. This means that the first death that I count as happening in my adulthood is Papa’s.

After he passed, I wrote an installment about his funeral, simply called The Funeral. As soon as I published it, I knew that I liked honoring new people in my life who have passed through writing, but I didn’t want to just write about their funerals every time, and writing a spinoff book for everyone from this point forward is unrealistic. The compromise is obvious.

A year or so after someone close to me dies, I will post an installment about their lives, before I was born (in the case of family), or leading up to their first written appearance (basically anyone else). The question basically being: who were they before they entered my life?

The first such installment comes out on January 21st, 2026! See you then.

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Finale: The Goals And Dreams Project

 The Goals And Dreams Project

On Wednesday, December 31st, 2025, I walked into Crimson Cup Coffee at 11:00 am. After ordering my coffee, I opened my computer with the intention of editing. The manager, Lydia, who I went to high school with, walked up to me and we started to catch up. I first introduced you, the audience, to Lydia in the season 6 installment A Writer's Place, in which I revealed that I had finished writing The Greattastic Adventures 2: Fractured and Greattastic Adventures 3. I wrote basically the entirety of Greattastic Adventures 3 at Crimson Cup. “How's the last book coming?” Lydia asked.

“Good!” I replied, “I'm actually doing the last little bit of editing that I need to right now, and then after that, it's just about getting the cover done. Hoping to get it published before Paige and I get married!”

Finally, we stayed up till midnight and rang in the new year together, for the first time in our entire relationship! As 2025 rolled into 2026, and Paige and I said good night, I opened the 2025 Goals and Dreams doc on my phone. The Goals and Dreams Project is something that I started after I had a brunch with my friend, Madison, Pop-pop, and Sara, on New Year's Day 2025, and I realized that in terms of reaching my goals, I was plateauing (Self Advocacy). As I explained in the installment, The Goals And Dreams Project (Beta), the document was inspired by my teaching mentor, Mr. Livingston, during my Walkabout at TGS. While I haven't actually discussed the document since I introduced it in that installment, it has helped me.

Originally, Mr. Livingston had had me just make one document and list a handful of goals and dreams on it that I wanted to achieve in my senior year of high school (specifically during Walkabout). This year, I expanded on that idea by making the 2025 Goals and Dreams Doc and then the Major Goals and Dreams Doc that runs from 2025-2030. I also had a color coding system. Black means still needs to be done,  green means completed, and red means moved to the following year's Goals and Dreams doc. Though, as I looked at it, I realized I needed to add blue for things that are in progress.

I started this installment at Crimson Cup with Lydia for a reason. Originally, I was going to make this season finale about me publishing Greattastic Adventures 3. I already have the idea for what that installment is going to look like because, despite it not being a finale anymore, nothing about that installment is really going to change. The real-life delays in publishing are the only reason that I am not a four-time published author going into 2026. And I'm not worried about it. 

My goal last season was for me to start a nonprofit. Obviously, me not being able to achieve that goal within that season attributed to the aforementioned plateauing. As I made the 2026 Goals and Dreams Doc, I smiled. While this series has made me a lot more goal oriented, the downside of that is if I don’t meet the main goal that a season is built around I tend to spiral. The fact that I have not spiraled despite not publishing Greattastic Adventures 3 yet, proves to me that the goals and dreams project is a success.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT

Speaking of things not happening when I thought they were going to, on the 4th of July, Ryan told Noah and I that Cousin Simple’s newest EP, You Don’t Have To Sing Along, would slowly drop throughout the rest of 2025. I took that as set in stone. As of the posting of this installment, January 12, 2026, all six songs have been out since Friday morning. You can listen to it wherever you find your music.

Rules for a Greattastic Life will return with Greattastic Life Special Edition: For Papa

Season 8 New Years Special: Meanwhile In Another Timeline 2: A World Without Covid

 Meanwhile In Another Timeline 2: A World Without Covid

Happy 2026, everybody! It’s crazy to think that 6 years ago, we did not know what Covid-19 was yet. I know that I'm not alone in saying that while lockdown was happening, I wished Covid hadn't happened. This year, 2026, is the year that Paige and I will get married. To highlight this, I wanted to start this year off by writing a second alternate timeline installment, in which the pandemic did not happen. It's crazy that in terms of my life, only a handful of things would have changed. 1. Marshall would not have moved to Cincinnati when he did, because he would not have worked with Battelle in Marshall Vs Covid-19, and gotten his experience that led him to P&G. 2. My “niece” Emerald would not exist, because August and Ben would not have broken up when they did in reality. 3. Generally speaking, everything that happened to me would have happened about a year earlier. For example, I would probably have spoken at Ocalicon 2021 instead of Ocaliconline 2022. 4. Because everything happened roughly a year earlier, I would have started full-time at Haugland in the fall of 2020, and quit Kroger in the winter of ‘21. As a result, I don't meet Shane, and we don't become roommates. 5. The only other thing up in the air is Paige and my relationship. Let me explain:

In reality, I started dating my crazy ex in May of 2021, and I got my restraining order on her by September. I started dating my next girlfriend, Gabby, in February of the following year. Again, (and I know this is a huge leap), if basically everything happens a year before, it did, in reality, in this alternate timeline, I start dating my crazy ex (or at the very least a crazy person, not necessarily my actual ex), in 2020, and I start dating Gabby in 2021. This is where we really start the story. 

During Gabby and my first year of dating, things go really, really well. She meets and gets along with my family, and I actually meet her dad, who likes me. About a month and a half in, Gabby tells me that her mom passed away when she was a kid, and I tell her about S.M. and my grief journey. Everything is fine until, unfortunately, her dad passes away in 2022. Now, in reality, I was eventually able to see that despite my experience with grief, I couldn't fix Gabby, and we broke up. But if I had known her dad and had to grieve with her, I don't think I would have come to that same conclusion. I think I would have doubled down and stayed with her. This causes a problem because Gabby and my breakup was what led me to gain confidence in myself, specifically in the context of romantic relationships.

On top of that, Gabby's dad left her the house. Because I didn't move in with Shane by Gabby and my second year of dating (2023), I am still living with my parents full-time. Because it's easy and she has a house, she and I would move in together at this point. Because War of the Roommates doesn't happen, I don’t have the experience to know how to handle fights with the person I’m living with, and Gabby and I have a very volatile relationship. We fight our way through our time living together as boyfriend and girlfriend, and presumably, we eventually have a very unhappy marriage. The most tragic part of this is, I would definitely have brought Gabby to the Cousin Simple show at the Newport, the night Paige and I reconnected in reality. Paige and I would be so close to our happiness and yet so far.

Now, I'm going to let Paige read this before I post it. But even before I show it to her I know she will disagree with my logic. We can’t possibly know if this world without Covid leads to her and I not being together. And I know that I'm making some huge generalizations, specifically to keep Paige and I apart. But that's kind of the point. Paige is the love of my life, and I can't imagine a happy life without her. If I’ve learned anything, it's that love isn't easy. It takes work, and a conscious choice, and it is a very fragile thing. I have two parting thoughts. 1. Because it is such a fragile thing, I think that it's really healthy to think about the alternate timelines of where you could have ended up in life, without your partner, because it can help you to appreciate what you have.  2. I do believe that Paige and I are soulmates, so I think eventually, even in this timeline, we would have found our way to each other, but I'm saying that it would have taken a lot more pain to get there, and I'm happy that we took an easier path to “Greattasticly Ever After…”

Now, I'm going to let Paige read this before I post it. But even before I show it to her I know she will disagree with my logic. We can’t possibly know if this world without Covid leads to her and I not being together. And I know that I'm making some huge generalizations, specifically to keep Paige and I apart. But that's kind of the point. Paige is the love of my life, and I can't imagine a happy life without her. If I’ve learned anything, it's that love isn't easy. It takes work, and a conscious choice, and it is a very fragile thing. I have two parting thoughts. 1. Because it is such a fragile thing, I think that it's really healthy to think about the alternate timelines of where you could have ended up in life, without your partner, because it can help you to appreciate what you have.  2. I do believe that Paige and I are soulmates, so I think eventually, even in this timeline, we would have found our way to each other, but I'm saying that it would have taken a lot more pain to get there, and I'm happy that we took an easier path to “Greattasticly Ever After…” 

Have a Greattastic 2026, everyone! 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT.