Social Grace
A little over a year ago, I helped a blind man named Noah around the Kroger grocery store where I work. When we had finished shopping, he asked for my Facebook information, and we started hanging out shortly after that. I learned that he was a musician, and we started playing music together.
On the week of Christmas, I planned to go to Noah's house to practice a new song. Unfortunately, because everyone in my family (except me) got Covid that week, I couldn't see Noah until the 17th of January because he had to work out of town. Since the last time you, the audience, heard about Noah, a couple of things have changed. The first thing is Noah moved into a bigger apartment. It's a nice place, and there is a lot more room for us to goof around while we're practicing. The second thing is Noah started dating a girl named Lori.
I stopped hanging out with Noah for a little bit as he moved into his new apartment because too much was going on. The first time we hung out again, we had lunch, and Lori dropped him off at the restaurant. I don't count that as actually meeting her because the only thing we did was introduce ourselves. On the 17th, while we were practicing, I asked Noah when I was officially going to meet Lori. Later in the week, I got a voice memo from Noah explaining that Lori would be in town the next weekend, and we could go out to dinner on Saturday.
Lori and Noah picked me up because the Northstar restaurant we were going to was right up the street from my house, so they were already in the area. Around 6:00, Luke and Josh saw Noah and Lori on our doorbell camera, and they told me that they were here. Lori started driving us up the street, and then I realized I had forgotten my mask, so we had to go back to my house.
We finally arrived at Northstar, and after we placed our orders and sat down, I realized a sobering truth. Throughout my entire life, I have had trouble holding conversations with people I don't know, I attribute this to my autism. It hasn't been as much of a problem in my adult life because I'd built up social grace over my 22 and 1/2 years before Covid. Unfortunately, nearly a year into this thing, all of that social grace is gone! Now, this is not to say I was uncomfortable talking to Lori. On the contrary, she is the kind of person I would be friends with even if she weren't dating one of my established friends, and I can tell she's a perfect fit for Noah. It was a lot harder for me to talk to her than it should have been, and it blindsided me.
I'm just so glad that Noah was with me when I happened to come to this realization. Whenever the conversation would lag, Noah didn't let it get awkward. Instead, he would steer the conversation in a direction where he knew I could stand on my own, and the night went smoothly from then on.
Have a Greattastic day and be safe!
J. Mitchie Ulibarri
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