Death Sentence
From my experience, I can tell you that growing up with autism and not being diagnosed can cause many problems. Peers of an undiagnosed child with autism think the child is weird for the sake of being weird. There is no way to tell other children, "Hey, I'm not weird, I just have this thing, I don't understand social norms the way you do. Stop bullying me!"
However, the part that I think can be far more damaging in the long-term is the diagnosis itself. I believe an Autism diagnosis has the potential to be a death sentence. To explain that, I have to explain how the autism spectrum works. People think that it is one line that goes from one end to another. At one end are the "high" functioning people, and on the other end are the "low" functioning people. People get wrong about the spectrum because it is not supposed to chart how autistic a person is; instead, it shows us how autistic specific characteristics are. In other words, I am not on the spectrum I have characteristics that are.
The problem is people who are low functioning are frankly easier to spot in everyday life. In general, people act like the term low functioning means "low functioning in life," not "person with low-functioning autistic traits." On top of that, most high functioning people are depicted in pop culture as super-geniuses. So as an autistic person, no matter when you're diagnosed, your people will only see you as someone who can't take care of themselves or Sheldon Cooper.
In my case, I was diagnosed right before 7th grade. Before that, I got bullied, and it was traumatic, but at least adults thought I was cute. When you are a kid, there is no pressure on what you need to do with your life. Yeah, I was a little weird, but it was way more endearing because it was a phase. As soon as it was no longer a phase, people started treating me like I probably wouldn't be successful because I was obviously no super genius. I would probably never have a job, probably never get married, or have kids. Any friends I had would probably leave, and I would likely end up living with my parents for the rest of their lives, and then I would die alone.
I know for a fact that people didn't intend for me to feel like this is how they felt about me, but it was the vibe I was getting, intentional or not. I don't want to speak for anyone else, but I'm not the only autistic person who has experienced this, from what I can tell.
I don't want to spend my life acting like I can't do anything because of my autism. I want to go out there and make something for myself and prove to people I can do it! Step one in my plan for how to do that is to move out of my parents' house. In preparation, I have already taken on more hours at the Kroger grocery store where I work. I am tentatively planning to move out of my parents' house in the fall or failing that early 2022.
Have a Greattastic day and be safe!
J. Mitchie Ulibarri
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