Come To My Office
Trying to coordinate anything with my “sisters” and Marshall is like herding drunk cats, super stressful, and virtually impossible. The original plan for the 4th of July weekend was for everyone to stay at my apartment, but then there wasn’t enough space for that. Then we thought, Well maybe we can get an Airbnb, but then we couldn't coordinate paying *stutters in frustration* Basically what I'm saying is that going into Kid’s graduation party on the 2nd, I didn't know what the plan was for the rest of the weekend.
I walked into the party fashionably late, and they were already a bunch of people there. There were the obvious people, the Andersons, Marshall, James, my parents, and then extended family, and family friends. Along with them were a few neighbors, Caden, and Arden’s best friend Jane, who recently got engaged!
I don't know who said it, but somebody suggested that we go out that night after the party. At first, we couldn't decide on an 18+ bar for Kid. When we did everyone said they were a little drained from the party, so they decided to take a quick nap, and after an hour when I returned, they said they just wanted to stay in and watch a movie. I was kind of mad. Not just about not going out, but because of the distance, and everyone's inability to plan, we never do anything anymore, and I felt like the girls were starting to outgrow me. Everyone could tell I was a bit off and Arden asked, “What's wrong?”
“We're not going to talk about this now,” I replied.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because it's the 4th of July and I don't want to cause any drama,” I answered.
“Mitchie,” She said, “You have two days before the 4th it's totally fine, come to my office.”
Arden lead me into the TV room and we started talking. It was obviously a lot more messy than I can depict in this installment with the time that we have, but here's the gist. While the girls were the catalyst from me being upset here, it goes a lot deeper than that. I feel like everyone's outgrowing me. I'm just not doing as much as everyone else or as much as I used to. Ryan’s moving to Chicago next week, Arden got her pilot's license a few months ago like I said Jane's engaged, and my “brother” Greg just celebrated his one-year wedding anniversary with Temi. Again it's a lot of other things too, but that's what is important.
When I mentioned Jane's engagement and Greg’s anniversary, Arden made the connection. “Do you think this is just leftover anxiety from the breakup?” she asked. I had been compartmentalizing, but as soon as she said it I put everything together. Gabby was my fifth girlfriend. The first three were Middle/High School relationships so none of them were super serious, and number four and I didn't have a typical breakup, as it devolved into a full courtroom drama! What I'm saying is this current breakup is my first “proper” one with a serious girlfriend and that emotional bombshell has unearthed some deep-seated insecurities. I guess that's good though since my goal for this season is to find out who I am or at the very least make myself a little closer to who I want to be, so I think God gave me this break up to help me discover that a little bit more.
In closing, we actually ended up having a completely drama-free Fourth of July and we all drove to Cincinnati. We went to the Ohio River and watched fireworks that were launched in Kentucky. It was the most surreal thing, because it wasn't a firework show, so much as a bunch of random people firing them off for miles and miles, across the state line!
Have a Greattastic Day and be Safe!
J. Mitchie Ulibarri
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