Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 20: Ace Of Cups 2: PTJ

 Ace Of Cups 2: PTJ

Ace of Cups is a bar in Columbus, only a few miles from my parent’s house. It’s fairly popular locally and pretty ingrained in my mind because I've driven past it my entire life. Ace of Cups is one of the only major bars Cousin Simple hasn’t played since the band started almost eight years ago, although Box Seats played there at the beginning of last summer.

Over the course of the summer, Cousin Simple has been slowly releasing their new EP, Part Time Job (PTJ). On Friday, October 4th, 2024 Cousin Simple released the last two songs, and they had a show at Ace of Cups that night.

I was heading home at 6:30, and I went to pick Noah up on the way. After I picked Noah up, we got to my apartment, where Paige and her best friend Nicole were already hanging out. After making dinner, we all hung out for a while and walked to Ace of Cups.

By the time we got to Ace of Cups, we had already missed most of the openers, but we had just enough time to greet the usual attendees. After saying hi to everyone and buying a few drinks, it was time for Cousin Simple to play.

On PTJ, there are 5 Songs: Violet Television, Talk, Head Over Heels, Friendly Fire, and Cincinnati. I’m excited about this EP because 1. It’s the second one they’ve released this year, and that’s never happened before. 2. It’s a bit different from the usual stuff, and it’s really working… but the most emotional part of the show had nothing to do with PTJ.

Mitch Whittaker went to high school with Ryan and the lead singer, Will. He played bass, ukulele, and keyboard for Cousin Simple since the band started. At the beginning of this semester, Mitch moved to Chicago for college to be an optometrist. At the end of Cousin Simple’s song Chapstick, the song slows down, and Will would sing while Mitch would play ukulele.

Before they played Chapstick, Will said, “I’m gonna try something new,” as he grabbed the ukulele. I would be lying if I said I didn’t tear up just a little bit at the end of the song. As an autistic person, change can be hard. Most of my early blogs, in fact, were about me struggling with change… but when things change, you have a choice. You can either: 1. Be sad about it or 2. Appreciate how things were and move forward from there.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 19: Bad Days

 Bad Days

I think, in general, I am a very positive person. Obviously, not all the time; everyone has their bad days, but I like to think that people notice my positivity. On Thursday, August 29th 2024, I got off work at 4:00. I was getting off the highway 10 minutes later and I had the green light.

I made my turn, but unfortunately, someone ran their red light. He only hit my front bumper, and there was minimal damage, so no witnesses stopped. The guy who hit me pulled over, and I glared at him as I passed him to pull over, too. This guy, who couldn’t have been older than 21, mouthed “sorry” as I pulled over, and when we both got out of the cars, he said, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t notice that the light changed.”

I called the police, and then my parents and I was about to call Paige, but by the time I was done with my parents, the police had already arrived, so I just texted her. While I was on the phone, the other guy had been, too, and he started trying to put the crash on me. Long story short, because there were no witnesses, they couldn’t prove which of us was at fault (though one of the cops told me he believed I was not).

I got back to my parents' house, and Dad fixed my car. About an hour and a half had passed since the crash, and Paige had justifiably been stressing out the entire time. I picked her up from the apartment, and then we returned to my parents' house and ended up having dinner with our neighbors, Steven and Robin, their daughter Megan, and our friends Tim and Kristin. We headed home around 10, and unbeknownst to me, I ran over a nail at some point between Meadow Park, Dr., and the apartment.

I have been trying to save money on coffee, so I only go to the coffee shop to write once a week. However, Noah got me a gift card for my birthday, so I got up at 5:00 the following day to write there before work. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, turned on the light, and realized I had pink eye in my left eye. I called off work and set up an appointment for the Minute Clinic at 9:10.

The Minute Clinic was only five minutes away by car, so at 9:00, I got in my car, turned it on, and started driving. As soon as I started moving my car, it went G-dunk G-dunk G-dunk G-dunk because my tire was flat. I called a Lyft, got to the MinuteClinic just in time, and got a doctor's note and a prescription for eye drops. As the prescription was being filled, I called Mom to fill her in on how chaotic the morning had been, but unfortunately, my phone died mid-call… so I couldn't use it to call a Lyft to get home.

Once the prescription was filled, I started walking home. Three to five minutes into the walk, I saw a bus stop in the distance and realized that I had some cash in my wallet. As if on cue, a bus pulled up right then and there. I started running as fast as I could, waving my arms to let the bus driver know I was there. As soon as I got to the bus stop, the bus driver closed the door, made eye contact with me, and drove away.

I felt so overwhelmed at this point; I wanted to scream and cry and just curse out the next person who looked at me. I took a deep breath, building up for a scream, and just busted out laughing. I didn't want to laugh; it just sort of happened. When I started laughing, I began to think a little more clearly. I knew by that afternoon I would get my tire fixed, and by the following Tuesday (when I was allowed to go back to work), I would have completely gotten rid of the pink eye. It's tough in the moment to think positively. But if you can laugh at yourself, it makes it so much easier to get through your bad days!

Have a Greattastic Day and be Safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 18: Mitchmas 27, Part 2: The Last Pizza Night

 Mitchmas 27, Part 2: The Last Pizza Night

As I mentioned in my first book, The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child, the Anderson family, and my family would have a weekly date night when we were very little. On Thursday, the Anderson girls would come to my parents' house, and Rich and Barbara would go on a date. The following Thursday, Rich and Barbara would watch all the kids, and my parents would go out. The Andersons would always get pizza because it was just logistically easier with my autistic palette. After date nights stopped happening, the Andersons would still have pizza night every Thursday, and when I became friends with them again, I started joining them for pizza night. I attended pizza night, from the Miracle Child events until I started working at Kroger.

Now Rich and Barbra are trying to sell their house. In Rich’s own words, “It's just a pipedream right now,” so nothing is really set in stone as of the posting of this installment, but the move is, at the very least, the backdrop for this story.

On Saturday, August 24th, Paige and I were at her parent's house doing laundry around noon before Arden, Aspen, and Marshall came up from Cincinnati. After the three older Andersons permanently moved away after Covid, Mitchmas has been on a two-year cycle. 2021 was a big year, 2022 was a more subdued year, and last year was a big year, so I decided to lean into the cycle. This year, we planned to hang out at my parent’s house and have a very low-key night. We got to Meadow Park Drive around 3:00, and the girls and Marshall arrived shortly after.

Paige and I walked out of my parents' house and greeted Arden, Aspen, Marshall, and Barbara. After a little bit of spontaneous dancing, we went to the Andersons' backyard. While we were there, Kid arrived after having moved into a new apartment. We all talked for about 45 minutes before Paige and I went to the store to get drinks. Paige and I returned from Kroger at 5:00; unfortunately, Arden was not feeling well.

The night began to unravel pretty quickly from there. Marshall made sure that Arden was okay, and the rest of us sat around, unsure what to do. By 7:30, we were sure that Arden was down for the count, but everyone else was getting hungry. “We should get pizza,” Aspen suggested.

“It'll be the last pizza night…” I said in a reflective tone.

We ordered the pizza, and Barbara and Aspen drove to pick it up at 8:00. At 8:10, they returned and yelled that pizza had arrived to gather us all in the kitchen. To everyone's surprise, Arden stumbled down the stairs, and we all started screaming excitedly as she joined us. As we screamed and ate, Marshall capitalized on the chaos by turning into an inspirational speaker. This went on for about 20 minutes, so I can't tell you everything that was said, but the gist was, “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE! YOU GOT TO MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY DAY!” It was super cheesy, but it was hilarious. As he riled us up, we started playing catch with lemons, oranges, anything we could find, really. It was pure pandemonium.

As things settled down, I looked around the kitchen at my friends. As Rich said, it's just a pipe dream right now; it might not happen… but I'm fairly confident it will. So many Greattastic things happened in that house. I mean, I've literally written three books about it… I looked around at my best friends and my entire world. I felt a little sad that the house would be gone soon. I thought back on all the amazing things we did growing up and have even done in the last 5 years, and I am so happy that we have had so many memories in this house, from the recording of Miracle Child to this last pizza night.

Have a Greattastic Day and Be Safe 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri.

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 17: Mitchmas 27, Part 1: Comedy In Traditions

 Mitchmas 27, Part 1: Comedy In Traditions

Some housekeeping before we get into this installment. A week after the events of the previous installment, Paige and I moved into our new apartment (Summit Crest Apartments). We have more or less completely moved in, though I still haven't moved my podcast stuff over from my parents, which is why it's been a little harder for me to post.

I call my birthday, August 19th, Mitchmas because I think it's funny. I woke up early on my 27th birthday to get ready for work at New Story. Paige wished me a happy birthday, and we played with her cat, Charlie, before I had to go. When I got to work everyone was wishing me a happy birthday, and I responded, “Merry Mitchmas!” Most people thought it was funny, though I will admit I think a few people were thrown off by it.

After I got home from work, Paige and I hung out at the apartment for about an hour and a half before we drove to pick up Noah. We ended up going to Buca di Beppo, which is where I’ve had my family birthday dinner since 2021. Now, there are two locations in Columbus, and one of them is closing, so we went to the other one. We had a ton of laughs at dinner, but the funniest part was at the very end. One of the managers came up to our table, and he said, “Happy birthday! I'm going to make you something very special myself.” We were already going to go back to my parents' house for cake and presents (minus Noah because he had a meeting). About 10 minutes later, a bunch of waiters/waitresses and the manager came out with this HUGE brownie sundae.

We asked for some to-go boxes for everything else, and once it was just us at the table, Dad said, “Watch this!” He then grabbed all of our dessert plates, put a small smudge of the brownie sundae onto each one, and put the rest of it into one of the go boxes, and then we all acted lethargic. The waiter was very caught off guard, and even though it only took him a few seconds to figure it out, he legitimately thought for a moment that we ate the whole thing in like 2 minutes.

After dropping Noah off at home for his Zoom meeting, we headed to my parents' house. About 20 minutes after we arrived, Kid and one of her best friends, Kayleigh, showed up. The card that they had picked out for me was a “from your daughter” card because, growing up, my “sisters” would call me “Mama Mitchell.” I don't really remember what started it, but I think they just did it because it was weird, and it made me feel awkward.

Since my third year doing this series (Season 4), I have written multiple-part installments for my birthday. Part 1 is almost always a depiction of my family going out to Buca di Beppo. I always have fun, but I think every few years, I relearn this lesson. Life can be monotonous and repetitive. To avoid boredom, you need to find the comedy in your traditions.

To Be Continued…

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 16: Final Family Introductions

 Final Family Introductions

Key: In this installment, Paige B= my cousin Paige

In the installment I wrote about Paige and my 1-year anniversary (Spring Break 2024 Part 1: Paige And My 1-Year Anniversary), I said, “Originally, over my spring break, I wanted to take a trip to Florida so she (Paige) could meet my family and we could still have the weekend to enjoy our anniversary. However, Paige's spring break started before mine, so we decided to go on a weekend trip to Hocking Hills…” The only reason I brought up this failed plan was because I knew we were planning on still making the trip over the summer.

On July 19, 2024, Paige and I arrived at the Orlando airport at 5:00 p.m. and made our way to the rental car counter by 5:45. We got to my Aunt Eva and Uncle Zach’s house at 6:40 and by 7:00, Eva, Zach, Paige, my grandpa, Pop-pop, his partner Sara, and I were at a local restaurant called F & D Italian Kitchen.

The next morning, Paige and I went to a restaurant for brunch called the White Wolf with my dad’s high school best friend’s oldest daughter, Madison, and her husband, Clay. While I have mentioned Madison and her sisters Elizabeth and Blinne, both in this series and in my second book, I have not said that I see them as my “cousins” in kinda the same way I see the Anderson women as my “sisters.” This is mainly because I’ve seen Dad interact with their dad the same way I interact with August, Arden, Aspen, and Kid. In any case, I see them as family.

Right after brunch, Paige and I met Eva and Zach at the Peacock fountain dedicated to Elizabeth and walked around a farmer’s market in the area. After walking around the farmers market for a while, we went to a pizza place called Lazy Moon Pizza, and I got the biggest slice of pizza ever, and then we swam in Eva and Zach’s pool for the rest of the day.

Eva has always ridden horses. Fun fact: She currently owns a horse that is the great-great-grandchild of Secretariat! Anyway, there is another horse at Eva’s stable that was pregnant, and on the night of the 19th, she gave birth. So after I got back from Mass on Sunday, Eva, Zach, Paige, and I went to see the new baby horse. It was super cute, and its legs were too long for its body, so the coordination was off (autistic rambling).

After we saw Eva’s horse and left the stable, we got breakfast, And I got two giant pieces of French toast! I wasn't trying to, but I really overate on the trip. At 1:30, we went to Paige B’s house. The people in attendance were my Aunt Alicia, Uncle Paul and Alexander (Paige B’s parents and brother), Austin (Paige B’s husband… You, the audience, know him as Naughstin), Paige B and Naughstin’s 1-year-old son Bentley (though he wasn't feeling good), Alexander's girlfriend Alexa, Pop-pop, and Sara, and my grandma and her husband Joe.

I went around introducing Paige to everyone that she had not met yet. When we got to Uncle Paul, He introduced himself to her like a normal person, then saw me and yelled, “MITCHELL ULIBARRI!” He then ran up to me, picked me up by my right arm and leg, and threw me over his shoulder. As Paige and I continued to laugh, Uncle Paul put me down, looked at Paige, and said, “So, how do you know each other?” As if nothing had happened.

Now, the last time I was in Florida was for New Year's. As I said in the installment, I wrote about that trip (Florida For New Year's); on our first night in town, we all went out to a Solar Bears minor league hockey game. At some point during that game, Uncle Paul went to the bar to get a drink, and I joined him. The last time I had seen him before that was 2021, so we had a lot to catch up on.

“So, how have you been doing, Mitchell?” he asked.

I listed off a few things and then said, “... And I have a girlfriend now.”

“What's her name?” he asked again.

“Paige,” I replied.

He pretended to be really taken aback and then whispered to me, “You know, you have a cousin named Paige, right?” I laughed, and pointed out that Paige B has a brother named Austin. Uncle Paul chuckled and said, “Well, I have to meet her before things get too serious!”

As Paige mingled with my family, I thought back to that interaction with Paul. Even in the moment, I know Paul well enough to know that he was being a little jokey with his overprotectiveness, and I knew everyone would love Paige.  Still, Paige and I have entered a point in our relationship that I've only been able to imagine up to this point. We have now (more or less) met both sides of the other's family. Now we're closer to each other than we've ever been before. And that's kind of what I wanted this summer to be; a time for us to get closer as a couple while managing our roommate relationship.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 15: A Reunion Of Greattastic Proportion

 A Reunion Of Greattastic Proportion

In downtown Columbus, there is a place called COSI (Center of Science Industry). Every year on July 3rd, at 10:00 p.m., fireworks are launched from a spot near COSI in an event called Red, White, & Boom! My parents' art studio, Kobolt, is less than a mile from COSI, and every year, we have a party and watch fireworks from the roof. The week before Red, White & Boom, my family, and my cousin's family went to Norris Lake again, so the party was a lot more last minute this year.

Before we continue, I need to catch you up on the Andersons. As I've mentioned, I'm subleasing from Kid this summer because she was planning to spend it in Costa Rica. Well, Arden and Aspen went with her and were planning to spend the first two weeks with her. Unfortunately, Arden and Kid got bit by mosquitoes and got really sick. They are fine now, but because it was so bad, Kid cut her journey short and is now back in town.

I have been a bad friend this year. As I explained a few installments ago, because of how intense my job is, all the drama with Shane, and how stressed I was because of that, I had to work extra hard on my relationship with Paige, and I began slacking in my other relationships. Thanksgiving last year was the last time I saw Arden, Aspen, and Marshall. Finally, as I hinted at in my first book, The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child, the girls and my family had a complicated relationship in my childhood. While it has gotten better over the years, it has never not been awkward. On July 1st, 2024, Aspen texted me and asked if they were invited to Red, White & Boom at the studio, and I said yes.

At 6:00 p.m. on the 3rd, Paige and I drove to get two giant pizzas for the party. After a slight debacle with the pizzas because it was raining and I couldn't get them into my trunk (I'm not kidding; these things were huge), Paige and I drove to Kobolt. People started arriving around 6:45, but because of the rain and how rushed the party had been, not as many people came as usual. Around 9:15, Dad started taking people up to the roof in the scissor lift as the rain had stopped. I was upset because I was convinced my friends were not coming.

At 9:30, however, I got a text from Aspen saying they had arrived. Paige and I greeted them and discovered that Arden and Marshall got married! After congratulating them, we all went to the roof and watched the fireworks. After the fireworks, we convinced my brothers to come to a bar with us. Josh couldn't go because he's under age, and Arden was worried because she forgot her ID, and even though she had a picture of it, it's still her Colorado driver’s license. We decided to try it, but as we drove by, we saw a few police officers outside the bar and realized there was no way they would let Arden in.

We decided to go back to my parents' house, and Kid joined us there. The Andersons and Marshall spent the night talking with my brothers, my parents, Paige, and me about their adventures in Costa Rica and life in general. They all even ended up spending the night at my parents' house!

For the entire time that I was slacking on my other relationships, I've known that it was a problem. As I stated in the installment Emotional Reset, I needed the space from the Shane drama so that I could well… emotionally reset. After doing that, I knew I needed to start putting more work into my relationships. Not to say that any time I spend with the Andersons isn't amazing, but this event was so ridiculous and wholesome, not to mention entertaining, even though we weren't really doing anything… It was… well, Greattastic!

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 14: Blind Soccer Practice

 Blind Soccer Practice

As I have mentioned before, ever since I met Noah in the fall of 2019, it has been a dream of his to play on the National Blind Soccer team at the Paralympics in 2028. For the last few years, Noah has been on the team, and a few months ago, he became a 2024 Sport Ambassador for the United States Association of Blind Athletes (USABA). About 2 years ago Noah asked Luke to be a goalie for a game (goalies are sighted). I wrote an installment about that event called Blind Soccer.

There are a ton of camps throughout the entire year for the National Blind Soccer team. Noah injured his knee in early 2023, and then I pushed him a little too hard when Cousin Simple played the Newport shortly after that (Columbus Against The World). Because of that injury, Noah could not attend any of the camps last year, but he's feeling better now. The first camp in a year that Noah could go to was the first week of June, and he wanted to practice with my brothers, Paige and I before he went.

On Tuesday, June 4th, 2024, Paige and I got ready, called my brothers to decide on a place to meet, and then drove to pick up Noah at 7:30. I parked at the duck pond by my parents' house, and Ryan, Luke, and Josh walked into the parking lot just as we got out of my car. After everyone said hello, we walked to a park next to the duck pond.

Now, I’m not a big sports guy. Luke was only the goalie during the game I wrote about, and Ryan, Paige, and Josh weren't there, so Noah had to explain the rules. The soccer ball is basically a baby rattle, so whenever it's kicked, the beads move around so the players can hear where it is. Other than that, there are only two differences between blind soccer and the original game (at least for the sake of this installment). The first thing is that all players must say “Voy” over and over when they approach the ball. Secondly, if a player is about to pass the ball to someone, they need to call that person. For example, if I was going to pass to Noah, I would say: Noah! And he would respond: Noah here. And then I would kick the ball.

With those two stipulations in place, we ran a few drills and had a few mini scrimmages. As I said, I’m not a big sports guy, so I don’t think I’m super qualified to explain everything that we did, but we had a fun time and hopefully helped Noah prepare for his camp.

As you may know, last fall I finished my next two books. Because of complications with my mic. I’m about a month behind on this series, and at the time of this installment, my editor hadn’t gotten started yet. As a result, I’ve been very pent up for the last year since I couldn’t do anything with them.

I’ve published two books already, so I know that publishing a book is a lot of hard work, but I’ve felt very discouraged. But after watching Noah have this injury for a year and working through it to achieve his goal, he has inspired me to keep pushing through. I think people tend to want things done the quick and easy way, even though deep down, they know that's not the best option. When you get stuck in one of those moods, it's best to look to the people around you for encouragement.

Have a Greattastic Day and be Safe

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 13: Emotional Reset

 Season 7 Blog 13: Emotional Reset

Over the two weeks between when Paige and I moved in together and me releasing the The Truth About War Of The Roommates trilogy, a lot happened. Just to get this out of the way, I'm recording the podcast in my parents’ basement because it's impractical to record at Paige and Kid’s apartment just because it's right off of a busy street, and we're moving to another apartment in August anyway. Because it wasn't exactly how I usually had to set up, I stretched my mic too far while recording and accidentally damaged it, which is why it took two weeks.

The day after Paige and I moved in together, Sunday, May 19th, we went with my family to my cousins, the Mitrey’s House, to celebrate Nicholas' graduation from high school. We ate, played euchre with the cousins, and got ice cream.

Now, even though I moved out on the 18th, my lease with Shane was not up until the 31st. In other words, I was still tying up some loose ends throughout those first two weeks. I was dealing with some of those loose ends on Monday, May 20th, when my childhood neighbor, Greg, texted me. He said that he and his wife, Temi, and their daughter were in town for a week and asked if we wanted to meet up.

After some discussion with Paige, we decided to have Greg, Temi, the baby, Greg’s sister Melody, and her new husband Rob over to the apartment on Thursday, the 23rd. It was really cool because, while Paige had met everyone except for Temi before, it was at Melody and Rob's wedding, so they didn't really get to know her, and we finally got to meet the baby!

Memorial Day weekend was Paige's annual family pig roast, and it just so happened that one of her cousins got married over the weekend as well. On top of that, my grandpa, Pop-pop, his partner, Sara, and my cousin Austin were in town, so there were a few family dinners at my parents. Needless to say, we were very busy, but it was really fun to spend time with so much family. The following week was pretty much full of recovering from the weekend, finishing stuff up at my old apartment, and being slightly stressed because I was a week behind in this series.

I know that there was not a lot for me to write about for this installment, but that’s kind of the point. See, a relationship is hard work for anyone, not to mention someone with Autism. With how intense my job is, the drama with Shane, and how stressed I was, I had to work extra hard on my relationship with Paige, and as a result, I started slacking in my other relationships. Now that the war of the roommates saga is more or less behind me, I can finally take a breath and emotionally reset.

To that end, I have two general goals for this summer. 1. I want to work on my relationship with Paige while living together. 2. More to the point, but not completely unconnected, I want to take time for the other people in my life as well.

Have a Greattastic Day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 12: The Truth About War Of The Roommates Part 3: Eviction Notice

 The Truth About War Of The Roommates Part 3: Eviction Notice

I did, in fact, fix things with Shane, as I depicted in the installment Dancing With Our Stars, and everything was fine until I started dating Paige. I was uncomfortable having her at my apartment because of what happened between Gabby and Shane, so she and I spent a lot of time hanging out at my parent's house, and after I would drop her off, it was just easier to sleep at my parent's house because I had been there all day. As I explained at the end of part 2, I started to lie to everyone in my life about where I was staying and I was trying to use this series to portray a different reality of the situation to make myself feel better.

In October 2023, maintenance came into our apartment (unannounced). They found that Shane had not been cleaning the bathroom, so it was really gross. They also said they replaced my closet doors since they were missing. We took them off and put them in the basement when I moved in because I put my dresser inside the closet to make my room function better. We had to pay for the bathroom cleanup and the “missing” closet doors. I paid my portion right away, even though the doors were not missing and could easily be put back in place.

I hated paying rent at a place I wasn’t staying at, but I justified it because I knew it would be over soon. You see, Paige and I were planning on moving into a new apartment after her lease was up in July. That got moved to May because that’s when my lease was up, and Kid is traveling for the summer again this year. So the plan was for me to sublease from Kid, and then Paige and I would move into a new apartment in August.

On Monday, March 11, 2024, Paige and I started working on the paperwork to get approved for an apartment for after her and Kid’s lease was up. Now that Friday, March 15, was S.M.’s 26th birthday and the one-year anniversary of my publishing my second book, Once In A Lifetime: A Song For Sam about her. I wrote a blog (that I didn’t end up publishing because of the events of this installment) to celebrate both her birthday and the anniversary.

The only thing I used my apartment for was to record my podcast since I had everything set up there. On Saturday the 16th, early in the morning, I drove to my apartment to record the blog for the podcast. As I walked up to the door, I noticed a yellow paper taped to it. It was an eviction notice that had been posted the previous Tuesday. It said that if we did not pay the money we owed by Friday we had to be out by the following Wednesday.

I freaked out immediately, and I would like to take this moment to apologize (again), to my parents and Paige for the frantic phone calls in which I screamed at all three of them out of sheer stress. Once my parents had tried and failed to calm me down, they got in contact with Shane’s parents while I was on the phone with Paige. It turned out that Shane had seen the notice but thought that it had to be a mistake because he was paying his rent, even though he hadn’t paid the bathroom fee. His parents paid his bill, and we didn’t get evicted! 

Writing this three-parter was more for therapeutic purposes than any installment I've written before. I’m not writing any of this to say that I hate Shane. Quite the opposite, actually. Ever since Shane and I moved in together, I have seen him as a permanent fixture in my life. But the stress of having to basically pay for him to live there and keeping it a secret took a major toll on my mental health. I am calling this season to be an advocate, in reference to the nonprofit I’m trying to start. But if this situation has taught me anything, it’s that I need to work on my self-advocacy too. I mean, if I can’t advocate for myself, how am I supposed to advocate for others?

Kid’s flight to Costa Rica was on Saturday, May 18th. That morning my brothers, Luke and Josh, and my former coworker Clo, helped Paige and I move me into Paige’s apartment. After we had got all my stuff in and everybody else was gone I reflected on the last two years. Obviously, my time living with Shane was not ideal, but I do not regret it. I will always be grateful for my friendship with Shane, and I’m looking forward to my next chapter, living with Paige.

Have a Greattastic day and be Safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 11: The Truth About War Of The Roommates Part 2: The Least Debacle

 The Truth About War Of The Roommates Part 2: The Lease Debacle

Shane was initially on the lease on his own. When I moved in in 2022, I was an addendum to that original lease. There's nothing much to talk about here… I got approved to move in, signed the addendum, moved in, and I thought that would be the end of it. Spoiler alert: it wasn't.

When I spoke at OCALICONLINE 2022 (OCALICONLINE-Only One Place I Can Go), I took the entire week off of work. Now at this point, Shane and I were in Era 2 of War Of The Roommates. As a refresher, Jessica had started having issues with me, which caused Shane and I to start having issues, even though we had worked through them before.

Between OCALICONLINE sessions, I was searching for new apartments because I was over all the drama. But I didn’t know when my lease was up. There were 15-minute breaks between each session, and I called my landlord’s office at one of those times. The receptionist said she would find it and get back to me.

During the next session, I got a callback but let it go to voicemail so I could pay attention. Basically, what had happened was when I initially signed the addendum, Shane didn’t sign it, and if I wanted to keep living there we needed to sign it again. 

I thought this was an amazing opportunity. I had no legal ties to the apartment, and I started frantically looking for new apartments so I could move out asap. Before I had a chance to find a new apartment, however, Dad and I had a conversation. “You know,” he said after I had told him about the situation, “you should try to make it work with Shane.”

“Why?” I asked.

“You haven’t really tried to fix things with him yet, and he has Down Syndrome. He can’t really help it. With the advocacy you’re trying to do, it will be good practice to continue to live with him,” Dad explained.

Now, my dad is one of the most successful people I know. He moved to Columbus at 17, and after graduating college and marrying Mom, he started a business from nothing that has supported my family since before I was born. He has the ability to solve any problem that life throws at him in the most creative way possible. Sometimes, I think he gets frustrated that no one else in the world solves problems the way he can.

What I’m saying is if he were in my position, he could have lived with Shane and worked through all of the issues that Shane and I have had… but I’m not him. The only reason I stayed in the apartment was because I wanted to prove myself. Not just to Dad but to everyone. I wanted everyone to think that I was capable enough to survive on my own, and when I stopped staying at the apartment for a third time, I really felt like I was a failure. This is why I lied to everyone about staying at the apartment. The only people who knew the truth were my family, my “sisters” and Marshall, and Paige… And quite honestly, if I could have pulled it off without letting them know, I probably would have lied to them about it, too.

To be continued….

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 10: The Truth About War Of The Roommates Part 1: The Battle Of Gabby

 The Truth About War Of The Roommates Part 1: The Battle Of Gabby

 In the installment I wrote about Paige and my one-year anniversary (Spring Break 2024 Part 1: Paige and my 1-Year Anniversary), I said that I’ve been super stressed for a while, and things came to a head shortly after Melody and Rob’s wedding. This three-parter is a complete depiction of that situation. I have been lying! To you, to people in my life, and frankly, to myself. I'm getting ahead of myself though, so let's start at the beginning. Here is the story of War Of The Roommates, as you, the audience, knows it:

I signed the lease to my Gleason Road Apartment in early 2022. My roommate, Shane, was already on the lease, and I was just added on. After I became the event coordinator for his engagement to his now fiancé Jessica, he and I started having problems. I started staying with my parents full-time again, but toward the end of the summer, we had a sit-down and fixed things. For the sake of these installments, I'm going to call this Era 1. After Shane and I fixed things, Jessica and I started having issues, and that led Shane and me to start having issues again, but we smoothed everything over in early 2023. I will call this Era 2. One thing happened in each of these eras that came together and created the secret Era 3. Just as sort of a table of contents: this installment will be about the event that happened in Era 1, part 2 will be about the event that happened in Era 2, and part 3 will be the fallout of Era 3’s creation.

Right at the beginning of Shane and my roommatehood, Shane met my “sisters,” Aspen and Kid. Shortly after he met them, he made a comment that made me a little uncomfortable bringing them around the apartment. Just to be clear, I know that Shane did not mean anything by what he said. He has Down Syndrome, and as a disabilities advocate, I tried not to hold it against him, but we did have a conversation about it.

In June of 2022, my girlfriend at the time, Gabby, came down to my area to have dinner with my family. In the installment I wrote about that event (Meet The Ulibarris), I explained that she got to my apartment at 3:00, and then I drove her around town and showed her things before dinner, as she had never been to my area. Shane can't drive, so I got the apartment parking spot. As I was the driver for the day, Gabby left her car in the parking spot.

After dinner, Gabby and I got into my car and drove back to my apartment. It had started raining for the second time that day while we were eating. As we drove, we talked about how well the dinner went, and we kept talking about it for a bit as I pulled up in front of my apartment. Once she got out of my car, I waited for her to pull out of my spot. It was taking her a while to drive away, and right when I was starting to question it Gabby started angrily storming back toward my car with a yellow piece of paper in her hands. Now, this was two years ago, and the paper was drenched, so all I really remember is how gross the paper was, but Gabby was upset because it said something along the lines of, “Get the F out of this parking spot. It's not yours!” 

I had told Shane that Gabby was coming over that night, but I did forget to tell him that she was parking in my spot. I just assumed that he would figure it out, process of elimination you know? I know that I should have communicated a little better, but at the time, it felt like he was just not respecting the women in my life, with or without the miscommunication. After Gabby left, I entered my apartment, and Shane and I got into a fight. I told him how upset she was, and he said, “I promise I'll apologize to her!” I was happy to let that be the solution. Unfortunately (at least for the sake of this situation), the next week, I went to Norris Lake with my family, and Gabby and I broke up while I was on that trip.

This issue died with my and Gabby's relationship, but it came back when Paige and I started dating. I know it's stupid and honestly a little immature to hold it against Shane, but I could never get comfortable having Paige at my apartment because of what happened between Shane and Gabby. And honestly, I think the only thing that would have made me feel better was if he apologized to Gabby, but I wasn't going to bring my ex back, just to fix this little thing. That would 1. be unrealistic and 2. not be fair to Paige or Gabby.

 To be continued…

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 9: Ace of Cups

 Ace Of Cups

Ace of Cups is a bar in Columbus, only a couple of miles from my parents' house. It’s fairly popular locally, and it’s pretty ingrained in my mind because I've driven past it my entire life. Ace of Cups is one of the only major bars that Cousin Simple hasn’t played since the band started seven years ago. So when I found out that Box Seats was playing there, I was very excited.

About a year ago, Box Seats played at a coffee shop/bar called Kafe Kerouac. In the installment I wrote about that show (Fun Fact And Pizza), I said that I loved how Luke and Josh could be themselves on stage. In other words, they don’t really have stage personas. However, while that show was highly entertaining, there is always room to grow!

On Friday, May 3rd, after Paige and I had dinner at my parents’ house at around 6:45, I drove to pick Noah up. I went alone so Noah and I could catch up. Side note- Noah was recently announced as a 2024 Sport Ambassador for the United States Association of Blind Athletes (USABA). At 7:30, Mom, Dad, Ryan, Paige, Noah, and I went to Ace of Cups. We ordered drinks and said hi to the other band members and the other band families, and then, at 8, the music started.

Box Seats played a ton of new songs, including the one that they released that day, Sunscreen. In fact, they only played one cover song. I know that they have definitely played a limited number of covers for a while, but this was the first time I really noticed it.

In the middle of the Kafe Kerouac show, Luke asked the crowd if anyone knew any fun facts, and later, Josh ate a slice of pizza on stage. It was pretty iconic because they were clearly enjoying themselves, but obviously, it wasn’t super professional.

While they have always enjoyed themselves, the best part about having siblings in bands is watching them grow as performers. Over the last year or so, Luke and Josh have become even more confident in their stage presences without being inauthentic, and I can’t wait to continue to watch them grow.

Have a Greattastic Day and be Safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

You can listen to Box Seats' new song, Sunscreen, and all the other songs wherever you find music.

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Blog 8: Spring Break 2024 Part 2: Totality

 Spring Break 2024 Part 2: Totality

In part 1, I said my spring break lasted until April 8th. That wasn’t 100% true. That day was the day of the solar eclipse, and I had an online work meeting from 8:30 to 10:30, then I had the rest of the day off. Now, you might recall back in July 2020, there was a comet called NOEWISE that passed by Earth. I’m not super interested in big solar events, but I enjoyed seeing NOEWISE with my family because we were in the heat of the pandemic, and that event was a pretty cool distraction. I thought that the eclipse was going to be very similar but without the backdrop of a global pandemic to elevate how cool it was.

On Saturday the 6th, Paige and I left the cabin in Hocking Hills and drove back to Columbus. When we got to my parents' house, Mom asked, “What are you guys doing for the eclipse?”

“We were going to watch it downtown, so I was going to stay at her apartment because of traffic,” I replied.

“Well, we're planning on going to the Mitrey’s house because they'll be in totality,” Mom explained.

After my meeting on Monday, Paige and I went to my parents' house. My parents, Ryan, Luke, and Josh, got there around noon, and by 12:30, we were on our way. When we got to their house, the Mitreys (Aunt Melissa, Uncle Andy, Alex, Maci, Nicholas, and Ellie), were making a charcuterie board, and other food, with three of Maci’s sorority sisters. By 1:30, Aunt Cyndi, her kids, Caitlynn and Cameron, my Grandpa and Nana, and one of Andy’s co-workers, Erin, had arrived.

The eclipse started around 1:50. Everyone started going outside at that time, and we periodically put our glasses on and looked up. Right away, I thought I was right because it wasn’t living up to all the hype. That's not to say we weren’t having fun together; it’s just that the first hour was no different than any other family gathering.

Somewhere between 2:50 and 2:55, everyone who was there stood on the back steps to get a group picture. We wanted two group pictures; one without the glasses and the other picture with them. Getting those two pictures exactly how Mom and Melissa wanted them took 5-7 minutes. Now just something to know about my family, we tend to hate group pictures. Pictures, in general, are fine, but trying to get everyone to just stand there and get the pictures done so that the moms are happy with it is very frustrating. We were all complaining so much that we didn't realize how dark it was getting until the pictures were done.

I'm just estimating, but I'd say at this point we were at about like 97% totality, so it looked like it was dusk. Over the next 10 minutes, we watched as the moon took over the last bit of the sun. Language is funny…there are some emotions and experiences that are limitless, but humans aren’t, and as a result, language can’t often describe something that is.

As of the posting of this installment, it has been almost two weeks since the eclipse, and despite how much I have thought about it, I don’t think I will ever be able to accurately describe how amazing it was! It was not, as I expected, slightly boring without a global pandemic to elevate it. All I can say is that the stillness at the moment of totality was something I have never experienced, and it is something I will remember for the rest of my life!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri