Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 6: The Things That Stay The Same

 The Things That Stay The Same

On Thursday, March 27th, 2025, at around 7:00 p.m., my uncle Bob was walking back to his car after meeting with a former coworker. As he was about to turn the corner, he heard someone running towards him from behind. He turned around, didn’t recognize the stranger, and turned the corner in a panic. “Hi, uncle Bob,” I said.

“Oh, hi Mitchell,” he said, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you. What are you doing down here?” 

“There’s a Cousin Simple show at A&R,” I replied.

It’s not surprising that Uncle Bob didn’t recognize me. Since last summer, I've been wearing my hair up in a ponytail, and I haven’t shaved my face since the day after Christmas.

After Bob and I talked for about a minute, I returned to the restaurant where Mom, Dad, Josh, Paige, and the parents of the lead singer, Will, David, and Tracy, were eating. Now, Cousin Simple has played A&R before, but they haven’t played there since they released the music video for their song Candlelight a few years ago. 

When we got to A&R, we met up with Nimba, Aunt Cyndi, Will’s sister, Helen, Mrs. Hartman and a few other regulars. While I have not mentioned Mrs. Hartman in any of my writings, her son, Pete, appeared in my second book, as he was a really good friend of mine in grade school. After we said hi to each other, Mrs. Hartman said, “Pete got married last year and they are expecting their first baby in June!”

 Now, before Paige and I started dating, at every single Cousin Simple show, I would be practically at the front of the crowd. This changed when we started dating. Before we dated and she came to shows, I thought of her as just a fan of the band, but when she came as my guest, I felt a little more obligated to be with her, even though she did not agree with that obligation. After the rest of my family said hi to Mrs. Hartman, and congratulated her on the baby, Nimba, and Cyndi, expressed that they wanted to go to the front, and that encouraged Mom, me, and Paige to go too.

As Cousin Simple started playing, we were still a little further back than I would have liked to be. However, I noticed Josh, as close to the front as possible, and I used him as a landmark. I'm a very tall person, so it took me about half a set to get to Josh. When I did, I felt someone continually tap me on the shoulder. I was ignoring her, since I assumed she was just a disgruntled fan, until I realized it was just a little too deliberate, and I turned around and it was Paige. After a few minutes of dancing around, Paige asked me, “Can you throw my drink  away?” I grumbled a little bit, but as I grabbed her cup from her, I knew I could get back to where I was if I was a little more aggressive, fighting through the crowd. You will not believe the number of enemies I made that night!

This series has always had a weird relationship with the theme of change, mostly because I, as an autistic person, have a problem with change, and I want to move away from that theme, even though things change in life, and so I inevitably have to go back to it. Pete's eminent fatherhood is a weird change for me. Obviously, Pete is not my first friend to have a baby, and I haven't seen him consistently in nearly 15 years. The difference between him and, for example, August is, I watched August grow into an adult and literally grow, when she was pregnant. In contrast, the most recent version of Pete that I remember is a 6th grader; someone who should not have a baby.

Yes, Pete's wife's pregnancy has absolutely no bearing on my life (other than me obviously being happy for them), but it brings up a subset of insecurity about change that I haven't experienced before. It's not the, “Oh my gosh everything's changing in my life and it's never going to be okay,” kind of thing that I felt before, it's more subtle. Remember when you were little, and like your great aunt, or distant cousin or whoever, would say, “I remember when you were this small.” I feel like I’m doing the emotional equivalent of that in my head to Pete now that he's going to be a dad, and it's just a weird feeling and I don't know how to handle it. 

While there's probably a lot more packed into that little paragraph, that I should unpack with my therapist, as I was kind of overthinking about change the day after the show, I started thinking about how even though the feelings are a little weird, and maybe even a little incomplete, I had the makings for a good installment. Because whether the changes are small, like facial hair, an old friend's parenthood, or if they're bigger, like a friend moving away there are always the things that stay the same: like me being at the front of the crowd at a Cousin Simple show!

Have a Greattastic Day and be Safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 5: The Fractured Book Cover

 The Fractured Book Cover

As I said in my installment, A Writer’s Place, I finished writing my third and fourth books, which are direct sequels to my first book, back in 2023. By the end of Greattastic Adventures 3, my “sister,” Arlo (Kid) Anderson is only 14. As a result of her and my age gap, young Arlo is the least used character in the books despite my best efforts. This became abundantly clear as soon as I started writing the master outline for the series. But because I love the relationship we have always had, I wanted to include her in some way.

When I was about to publish my first book, The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child, I asked Kid if she would like to do the cover, and she said yes. For Miracle Child, Kid illustrated a picture of both my parents and her parents' houses. My dad’s employee at Kobolt, Owen, then took those illustrations and created a cover using them. Kid thought Owen would touch up the houses, but he didn’t because I thought they were good! Because of that miscommunication, Kid asked for a little more creative control with the sequels.

Miracle Child was a movie that the Anderson women and I made when we were little. That movie is what started the current iteration of our friendship. This next book is called The Greattastic Adventures 2: Fractured. Kid's illustration was of the Miracle Child CD, in its case, fractured into 6 pieces, with the 6th piece appearing on the back cover. The Subtitle: Fractured was initially written in the space where the 6th piece was missing from.

On Monday, February 24th, I drove to Kobolt after work. I parked around back, said hi to my parents and Kate, Owen’s replacement, and then called Kid to see where she was. There is some construction right outside of Kobolt and a ton of one-ways in that area. So she had gotten lost. After a manic 10 minutes of me running around, I found her and directed her to the studio. After I introduced the Kid and Kate, we got to work.

We used the Miracle Child cover as a template, which made it easy. Kid and Kate discussed how it should look, and I signed off on pretty much everything they said. The most significant change to the cover was Kate suggesting that we move Fractured to the spine of the CD case and put Miracle Child where the missing piece in the disc was. By the time it was time for Kate to get off work, we had figured out everything except for the book's color (Kate and I would choose teal on our own, however).

This season is called Goals and Dreams, as I am trying out a new system to organize my goals. One of the biggest goals that I have for this year is to publish Greattastic Adventures 2 and 3, something that, quite honestly, for a while, I didn't think was going to happen. I am very excited that this is starting to come together.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Before I end this installment, I want to congratulate my COUSIN Paige and her husband Austin on the birth of their second child! I can't wait to meet her!!!!

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 4: Box Seats + Nimba

 Box Seats + Nimba

In the first blog I ever wrote, I said, “I tell my grandma everything.” I never really had a chance to expand upon that thought, as the first blog was designed to give you an overview of who I am. I told my grandma (Nimba) everything because she has worked as an assistant for Dad’s company, Kobolt, for as long as I can remember. When my brothers and I were in grade school, Nimba would work at my parents' house to help Mom when we got home. And even when we were all old enough to take care of ourselves, Nimba would still come over. I will admit I probably limited her progress on things she needed to get done when I would come home from high school or college every day. Unfortunately, when Covid hit, Nimba started working from home, and eventually, I would only see her at family gatherings.

My family has seen Nimba a little bit more frequently since Papa passed away in late January. The Little Grand is an indoor food market that Dad did some work in. On Saturday, February 15th, 2025, Luke and Josh’s band, Box Seats, had a show. Paige and I left our apartment at about 6:00 pm to head to The Little Grand to meet Mom, Dad, Ryan, and Nimba. We arrived at 6:30, and once we got inside, we found everyone at the table and caught up with them.

Now Ryan, lived in Chicago From the summer of 2022-the summer of 2023. When Ryan moved back to Columbus, he moved in with my parents. In November of 2024, he found an apartment of his own. Nimba, Paige, and I had not been to his new apartment yet, so after dinner, we went to his place.

Box Seats played at Summit Music Hall, a bar/music venue off OSU’s campus. They played with two other bands, one of which had just released a new song. Doors opened at 8:00, and Box Seats was the second set. I had a few favorite parts of the show.

Firstly, I had to go to the bathroom. The way the venue is set up is the stairs to the bathroom are right next to the stage. Box Seats started playing right when I returned from the restroom, and I got some of the closest pictures I’ve ever gotten. Secondly, during one of their songs, the three guitarists aimed their guitars at the crowd and moved them from left to right across the crowd during the bridge. This was cool because it’s an homage to Cousin Simple. After all, they do a very similar thing during Song To Emma. Ryan smiled when Luke called him out.

But the best part had to be my conversation with Nimba at the end of the night. After Box Seats finished playing, I walked up to Nimba, who had found a seat at the bar. “Did you have fun?” She asked.

“Yeah!” I replied. “When was the last time you came to a show?”

Nimba thought about it and then replied, “when Cousin Simple and Box Seats played together!” 

I was a bit surprised because that even (Runs In The Family) happened two years ago this coming fall. Like I said, I have only seen Nimba at family events for a while, but actually looking at the timeline was shocking. As I stood there stunned, I thought back to that first blog I wrote- I tell my grandma everything. “I miss talking to you every day,” I said.

“Aww, honey, I miss talking to you too!” She replied.

"I would love to have lunch with you soon to catch up,” I suggested.

“I would love that,” she said. While the circumstances of Nimba being more available are tragic, I have enjoyed seeing her more in the month or so since Papa died. In my experience, even when something terrible happens, you can still find some good in it.

Have a Greattastic Day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 3: The Goals And Dreams Project (Beta)

 The Goals And Dreams Project (Beta)

On Saturday, February 15th, 2025, at about 9:30 am, I sat at my computer and began to upload the podcast version of the previous installment, They Grow Up So Fast. As I completed this task, I thought back with pride on what had led me to this moment:

In 2018, I interned at my grade/middle school, Our Lady of Peace (OLP). My mentor was the middle school English teacher, Mr. Livingston. Mr. Livingston had a significant impact on my teaching career. So much so that now seven years later, I still find myself acting the way that he taught me to. Very early on in my internship, Mr. Livingston came up to me and said, “I want you to make a Google doc and list some goals and dreams you have for yourself.”

In 2022, after Gabby and I broke up and I had an ill-fated “situationship” with a girl named Lauren, my “sisters” devised a plan that we called “The Mitchell Project” that could help me better myself between my 25th and 26th birthday. The Mitchell Project would work best if I didn’t date anyone during those 365 days. Of course, I started dating Paige during that time, so while I wouldn’t say The Mitchell Project was a failure, it was not as successful as it could have been.

The success level of The Mitchell Project brings up a problem with Rules for a Greattastic Life as a whole. Each season, I set one pretty inflexible goal for myself to keep myself moving forward. Keeping it bound to one season, however, usually leads to failure. The clearest example of this is season four.

My goal for season four was to move out of my parents' house. While I did move in with Shane at the end of the season, and I was on the lease for 2 years, I would say I only lived there for about 6 months. In fact, I didn’t reach that goal until I moved in with Paige last summer. All of this to say, I have the ability to achieve goals, but hard deadlines are just a bit too restrictive.

After I had a discussion with my friend, Madison, my Grandpa (Pop-pop), and his partner Sara about how I was feeling about my success, back on New Year’s Day, I came up with a new plan. I Call it "The Goals and Dreams Project." I made a document called Major Goals and Dreams and included long-term goals and dreams (2030). I then made a Goals and Dreams document for this year. I have also added a color code. Black still needs to be done, green, completed, and red moved to next year.  I think this will give me a way to track my goals but still be flexible enough that I don’t get overwhelmed. On top of that, I'm just keeping it in a beta testing phase right now, so if it fails, I can scrap it and figure something else out.

I got a new computer for Christmas because with all the moving I did last summer, my computer was the last thing that made it to Paige and my apartment, and by the time it got there, the battery was shot. When I posted They Grow Up So Fast, I smiled, pulled out my phone, opened Goals And  Dreams 2025, and changed the goal “post more consistently to Rules for a Greattastic Life” from black to green.

Have a Greattastic Day and Be Safe

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 2: They Grow Up So Fast

 They Grow Up So Fast

As I’ve mentioned several times, I’ve become really good friends with my former coworker Clo. Despite a minor setback in our friendship in 2022, we have a very strong friendship now. I love my “sisters” and my other friends, but Clo… Clo is what I would be like if I was born a woman. I mean, she’s autistic, and we are the same kind of autistic; she thinks the same way as me. All this to say, our friendship is effortless because we can both kinda just be.

In the nearly four years that I’ve known her, Clo and I have never gone out to celebrate her birthday. Her 27th birthday was Thursday, January 16th, and Paige and I were going to go out with her that Sunday, but Clo had to cancel at the last second. On Friday, January 31st, 2025, Clo texted us and asked if we wanted to go out that night. 

We picked Clo up at 7:40 and drove to a restaurant nearby. While waiting for our appetizers, Clo pulled two tiny ceramic sheep and a ceramic head of lettuce about the same size out of her purse. I took one sheep, and she took the other. Then, we simulated them playing soccer with the lettuce. As Clo and I got more into it, Paige began to laugh. I turned to her and said, “You know this is what it’s going to be like when we have kids, right?” She laughed and rolled her eyes. 

Pins is a bar/duckpin bowling alley that started in Columbus. My dad has done all of their hand-painted graphics. At the original location, Pins has the world's largest ping-pong paddle, which Dad built. The original location was right by the restaurant, so we went over there after we ate. 

Now, when we were initially planning to hang out with Clo, Paige and I were going to get her something for her birthday before that Sunday. But because she had canceled, and the actual hangout was so impromptu, we never got around to it. Luckily, I had some leftover cash from Christmas. 

After hanging out on the Pins patio for about an hour, Clo said she wanted to play on the pinball machines. We went inside, and she started using her quarters. When I saw she was almost out, I ran to a machine and got about $10 worth of quarters. When Clo ran out of quarters and saw Paige and I holding the ones I just got, she practically de-aged 20 years, looked up at us, said, “Thank you,” grabbed the quarters, and scampered off to continue playing. 

“They grow up so fast,” Paige said in mock sadness. I put my arm around her waist, and we both looked at Clo nostalgically. Then, we busted out laughing. 

Have a Greattastic day, and be safe

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 8 Goals And Dreams Blog 1: The Funeral

 The Funeral

In loving memory of Jack Charles Savage

March 30,1953-January 21, 2025

This installment was not supposed to be the first one of this season. I had actually already started writing the installment that is now the third one when I knew this one was a necessity. On Wednesday, January 22, 2025, Mom called me first thing in the morning to let me know that her stepdad, Jack Savage (Papa), had died the night before.

Sadly, I knew this day might be coming. Papa’s health has been declining for the last few years; Paige has only known him with an oxygen tank. On top of that, he had been in the hospital for two weeks on a ventilator due to RSV. And the day before he died, he had a tracheostomy.

My Aunt Shana, Uncle Scott, and their daughter, Lexi, live with my grandma (Nimba), and I knew that my Aunt Cyndi might need a break from her kids, Caitlynn and Cameron. The funeral was scheduled for Monday, the 27th, so Paige and I decided to take the cousins to the mall on the 26th.

Cameron ended up not feeling well, and for transportation reasons, Cyndi ended up staying with us. We ate lunch, got some Starbucks, but we spent most of our time looking for something for Caitlynn to wear the next day.

The next day, I picked Paige up from work, and we drove to the funeral home. During the public viewing hours, I’d estimate that at least 250 people came in and paid their respects.

The funeral started with the pastor leading us in an opening prayer. Afterward, Cyndi got up and spoke. Cyndi said a lot in her 3 minutes, but the biggest takeaway was, every day for their 47 years of marriage, Papa would tell Nimba, “You look so pretty,” and she would reply, “You need your eyes checked!” Papa was an organ donor and actually ended up donating his eyes to someone… so Nimba was wrong; he didn’t need his eyes checked.

After Cyndi spoke, two of my great uncles did, and then I went up. I told two stories; the first was about how Papa introduced me to Beauty And The Beast on the weekend Ryan was born, and inadvertently sparked my interest in storytelling. The second was an account of when Papa taught me how to drive. I emphasized how confident he had been in my ability to drive, which led to some comical ignorance. Finally, having seen me and his mother give speeches, Cameron stood up and told a couple of stories that had everyone laughing.

I try to stay positive in this series. As a result, in the installment that I wrote about Papa teaching me how to drive (Play Another Song), I focused on the negative aspects of learning to drive and Papa’s positive impact overall, as opposed to telling the more comical aspects of that event. Between how I told that story, the funny stories that his brothers told, and how funny Cameron was, the funeral was (relatively) lighthearted. Honestly, I think that’s how he would’ve wanted it.

I love and miss you, Papa, 

Your grandson- John Mitchell Ulibarri 

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Finale Part 2: Self Advocacy

 Self Advocacy

For New Year’s 2019, my family went down to Florida, and we have now tried to make it a yearly tradition. Obviously, we couldn’t go in 2020, and in 2021, we went down for my cousin’s wedding in October instead. In 2022, Dad hurt his back, so we couldn’t drive down. What I’m saying is that New Year's 2023 and ’24 are the first consecutive years we have been in Florida.

As I said in my second book, Once In A Lifetime: A Song For Sam, Dad’s best friend's daughter, Elizabeth, died on New Year’s Eve 2012. Before she died (and even after), Elizabeth helped me manage my grief after S.M. died. Every year, Elizabeth’s family has a memorial at her graveside on New Year’s Eve.

On Tuesday, December 31st, 2024, Mom, Dad, Ryan, Luke, Josh, Pop-pop, his partner Sara, and my Aunt Eva went to Elizabeth’s memorial. At the end of the memorial, I hugged Madison, Elizabeth’s older sister goodbye.

“We still still on for tomorrow?” She asked.

“Yes,” I replied, “but could you possibly pick me up? I don’t have a car down here.”

Now, before we continue, I need to tell you something about Madison and me. I used Madison as the surrogate main character in Once In A Lifetime, in the chapters about Elizabeth that I was not involved in. Because it was such an intense and private topic, I wanted to make sure Madison knew exactly what I would say about Elizabeth and why it was essential to the story. As a result, I had to be very vulnerable with Madison, and we have been very close ever since.

Madison picked me up at 1:30 on New Year’s Day 2025 at Eva, and Zach’s house and we drove to a nearby diner. While we were waiting for our table, Pop-pop and Sara walked in. After we greeted them, they asked if they could join our table, and we said yes.

Once we were seated, we talked about how Madison and her husband have been doing, the things Pop-pop and Sara have been doing, and then we started talking about how I’ve been. As I said in Part 1, I was not doing my best going into the new year. On the drive from Columbus to Orlando, I had a lot of time to think, and at this lunch, Madison, Pop-pop, and Sara helped me organize those thoughts:

We concluded that I didn’t learn the lesson from COVID that I needed to. From 2018-2023 I achieved more success than the previous year. From getting my dream job, publishing my books, starting this blog/podcast, public speaking, and in all of my relationships, I have been doing really well! I’m not saying that I didn’t have struggles during that time, but I always had my success to fall back on. The only year within that time period I regressed in my success level was 2020.

I didn’t take any responsibility for my lack of success during that year because all of it was out of my control. And while I have the self-awareness to forgive myself, I didn’t learn how to live without growing success. While I wasn’t unsuccessful in 2024, I was plateauing, and when I did run into stressful issues, I didn’t have as much success to lean on, causing me to spiral a lot. The name of this season was To Be An Advocate because I was planning on starting a nonprofit. That didn’t end up working out. But I learned a lesson from that failure: how can I advocate for others if I haven’t mastered advocating for myself?

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 7 To Be An Advocate Finale Part 1: October-December

 October-December

Key: In this installment, Paige B= my cousin Paige

The last installment I wrote was about Cousin Simple playing Ace of Cups in early October. There are a few reasons, most of which I plan to go into eventually in some capacity. But for this first part of the season 7 finale, I wanted to summarize the remainder of my 2024.

Bentley In Columbus

A week after Cousin Simple played Ace of Cups, Paige B (who is expecting her second child in March), her husband Austin, and their first child, Bentley, came to Columbus for a visit. We had a ton of family dinners, but the most memorable part was Paige B, and Austin went to a football game out of state over the weekend, so Mom and Dad watched Bentley on that Friday and Saturday. They had to work on Friday, so Paige stayed at my parent's house and watched Bentley until I joined her and my parents got home. Watching him toddle about and explore the world was really fun, and I enjoyed having them all in town.

Halloween

Every year, Mom's side of the family has a Halloween party at my aunt Melissa's house. As a reminder, in 2023, every single couple dressed up as Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey since they were a new couple then. Inspired by that, Paige and I went as Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey in 2024, but with a twist; I went as Taylor. Until the day I die, I will never forget how shocked my entire family was when I walked in. We don't usually have a costume contest… but Paige and I definitely won!

Five Thanksgivings

November was a pretty chill month in general until the kick-off of the holiday season. The day before Thanksgiving, Paige and I went out to a couple bars with her Dad’s side of the family. Then, on Thanksgiving Day, we split the day between my family and her dad's side of the family. On Black Friday, we celebrated with her mom's side of the family. We had a “Friendsgiving” with Paige and Nicole's friend group on Saturday. By the end of it, we were both exhausted, but seeing everybody was great.

Wicked (The Movie)

As you may recall, I saw the theater production of  Wicked in 2022. I've always had the soul of a theater kid, though my high school did not have a theater program. Paige, on the other hand, did, in fact, participate in theater, and when we heard that there was a movie adaptation of Wicked coming out, we were both very excited. I was a bit hesitant, though. For one thing, I've never been a huge Ariana Grande fan. Nothing against her; she's just not my thing… But man, she won me over with this movie. The rest of the cinematography and acting were terrific, too! I think my only complaint is that it's a two-part movie. I mean, they did great with what they had, but I think because I know how the musical ends, this movie feels a little incomplete… Like, they kept it self-contained, and part 2 will work more as a sequel than a proper part 2, but still… The movie is just act one of the musical.

Emerald In Columbus

In a weird full circle moment, August, her husband Daniel, and their kid, Emerald, came to Columbus the weekend before Christmas. That Friday, Paige met Emerald, and then Paige, August, Daniel, and I went on a double date. Paige had to work most of the next day (she's been working at Panera since October), so August and I took Emerald and Daniel around the city.

While many great things happened toward the end of the year, I have been very overwhelmed since October. There are a lot of different reasons for that, most of them being my own fault. And going into the new year, I wasn't feeling my best.

To be continued…