Shane’s Wedding (Boys Don’t Cry)
When Paige and I moved in together, I did a three-part installment called The Truth About War Of The Roommates. Each part was a different flashback, depicting something I kept from you, the audience, because I wanted to pretend Shane and I were doing better as roommates after the original War Of The Roommates saga. The first installment in the trilogy was subtitled The Battle Of Gabby. It was about Shane and my ex-girlfriend Gabby getting into a fight. Shane told me that he would apologize, but Gabby and I broke up before he could, and Paige inherited this second-hand beef with Shane from Gabby because of my insecurities about Shane and her fight. When Jessica got her job at Bitty & Beau’s, Shane, Paige, and I went to the grand opening. I used the installment I wrote about that (Bitty & Beau’s) as the epilogue to the War Of The Roommates story. After that, I have avoided talking about War Of The Roommates in installments about Shane, as that story is over…
On Friday, October 9th, 2026, I woke up at 6:00, did some writing, and at noon I got a haircut; then Paige and I drove to North Star Golf Club in Sunbury. We arrived at 2:10, and I walked Paige over to the restaurant, where we had had the rehearsal dinner. I went to the staging area, got dressed, and then at 3:30, it was time for the first look. There was a balcony that overlooks where the wedding was going to be held, and Shane stood out there while the bridal party stood inside watching. Jessica walked up behind Shane and tapped his shoulder. Shane turned around, and I don’t think he even looked at her before he put his hand on her back, dipped, and kissed her! After that, the photographer took pictures, and we watched until Jesse, the best man’s voice cracked as he said, “Okay, I’m going to go stand over there.” And we took that as our permission to walk away.
About 2 hours later, at 4:55, the bridal party lined up to process into the ceremony. When we were ready, we all walked out, and when we were at the altar, Jessica and her father walked down the aisle. Bill, a local musician I have mentioned once before, read a poem, and then Jessica's aunt did a scripture reading (I'm pretty sure it was Ecclesiastes). Jessica’s brother Nick, who was officiating the wedding, greeted everyone by saying, “Good evening, everyone; thank you for coming! It has been 4 years since Shane proposed to Jessica. If you haven’t heard that story, it's a great one…”
He then gave a summary of Proposal On Gleason Road. For those of you who don’t remember, I had used Cousin Simple’s kabuki drop (a drop curtain) to hide Shane and Jessica’s families, Bill, and me in our (Shane and my) kitchen, while Shane and Jessica had their anniversary dinner. At the end of dinner, we started singing. We sang 4 songs, and during the third song, after I dropped the curtain, Shane proposed. As Nick took us back to that moment, we all smiled as we reminisced on their relationship.
During their vows, instead of saying “I do,” Jessica said, “I totally do!” Which was so her. Now Jesse is engaged to a girl who I’m going to call Vanessa. Her family owns the funeral home at the top of my parents' street; she was in the class below Paige, and she has a minor cameo appearance in my next book (more on that soon). After Shane and Jessica were officially married, we moved on to the cocktail hour. Paige met members of the bridal party, including Henry, Shane’s sister, Hannah, and Jesse; she reintroduced herself to Vanessa; and she met Bill and his wife.
When we went into the proper reception, we sat at a table with basically everyone that Paige had met. After about 10 minutes, Shane and Jessica entered. They walked in wearing Pink and Blue baseball hats, and they said either "Husband" or "Wife." Immediately after they had their first dance, I was on the verge of tears. Then, after dinner, Jesse went up to give his speech. At the beginning of the speech, he said, “I’m going to try not to get out. I’m already on strike two because I’ve cried twice tonight,” then, not a minute later, he said, “Man, I’m already on strike three!” For the maid of honor speech, Jessica's sister Megan and sister-in-law Katie (Nick’s wife), spoke together. They said that at her bachelorette party, they asked her what she loved most about Shane. Her immediate response was, “When he hugs me, it feels like home.”
As I said in the mini-installment that came out with this installment, one of Shane’s moms (Helene) had a procedure the day before, and so she was unable to come to the rehearsal dinner or the wedding. Jessica and her dad danced, and then Shane’s other mom (Denise) and he danced. At the end of that dance, they had a second dance in which Denise stood in for Helene. After that, the dance floor was opened. As we danced, they passed out these foam light-up sticks, and over the course of the night, Henry stuffed them into his shirt so he looked like a human strobe light.
There are a couple more things I wanted to talk about that are slightly related to War Of The Roommates. I spent our first summer living together pretending that Paige was not my girlfriend because I wanted to focus on our roommate dynamic, because I was paranoid that it would be a repeat of the War Of The Roommates situation, and I didn’t want that happening with my future wife. All that to say, I did overcome my insecurities about Shane and Paige, which Gabby gave me years ago! But at the wedding, Shane came up and hugged Paige like 3 times, and I don’t know… I was super happy that even though they don’t know each other super well, they are still friends.
In my heart, I knew I never hated Shane. I do know, however, that I’m not great at expressing negative emotions without them showing up in their most extreme form. What I’m saying is that, from Shane’s perspective in real life (and presumably from some outside perspectives), it could have seemed like I hated him. And even if that’s not how it seemed, or how he felt, it definitely wasn’t fun for either of us. From the time Jesse “gave us permission” to walk away from the first look to Shane’s second dance with Denise, the other groomsmen, Jesse and I were joking, “boys don’t cry.” While I said that the War Of The Roommates story is over, the juxtaposition between that not-great situation and me fighting back tears the entire night is evidence of how close Shane and I are now. I am so happy for him and Jessica, and I'm glad I got to be a part of their special day!
Congratulations, Shane and Jessica, wishing you a Greattastic Life,
J. Mitchie Ulibarri, SBT
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