Can You Teach Me How To Dance?

Can You Teach Me How To Dance?

I love music. It is a huge part of my life because S.M./Sam's fans, my brother’s band, and my “sisters”. Unfortunately just because music is such a big part of my life, does not necessarily mean that I am a good dancer. One of my “sisters”, Aspen, (sorry for the constant name changes, I swear this the last one), has tried to teach me how to dance since we were young,  to no avail.

Two weeks ago (the week of 6/1/19) I asked my brother Ryan, if he would try to teach me. “I mean, I know how to dance behind a guitar…” he said. Mom, who had been listening to our conversation, told me that my Aunt Cyndi is an amazing dancer.

Now as you may recall, August and Arden (two of my “sisters” ) moved to Colorado, that same week. August left on a jet plane the Saturday before and the family drove Arden up on Wednesday. The plan was for their dad and Aspen, to fly back the Saturday after they dropped Arden off, and for their mom and the youngest, Arlo (Nicknamed: Kid) to stay another week. While the whole point of blog 16 “A New Adventure” is that you need to move on, and look forward, I'm kind of having trouble taking my own advice. As a result, last week I didn't want to go over to their house, because I didn't want to be sad.

I was at my cousin Alex's graduation recently and I saw Cyndi, I asked her if we could do something that week. Cyndi, her boyfriend, Jeremy, and I decided that bowling on Friday would be a fun. The whole week, all I did was watch TV, eat and go to work, because as I said before, I didn't want to be sad. I was waiting until Friday, hoping that bowling would be a good pick me up.

That Thursday , Arlo texted me from Colorado. She asked me what I’ve been doing that week, and told me that she knew I had not gone over to the house. I told her what was going on, and she told Aspen, who was right next door. Aspen called me and we talked it out. When we were done talking about my feelings, she asked me what I was doing the next night. I told her I was going out with Cyndi and she asked if she could come.

We got to the bowling alley, said our hellos, got our shoes, etc... When it was my turn to bowl, I did a little “shuffle” to the song that was playing. I was 100% sure that I looked ridiculous.  Aspen confirmed my theory by letting out a loud laugh. Now I'm used to her laughing at me, I am after all the comic relief of our little group… I don't really know what happened, I just sort of felt self conscious. Then I remembered what Mom had said about Cyndi. “Cyndi” I said, looking at her, “Can you teach me how to dance?”

“Really?” She asked, “You seem okay to me!” Aspen and Jeremy, confirmed that I was okay. The more I thought about it the more I realized I do that a lot. While in most situations I'm  overly confident, there are some situations where I just get really uncomfortable, for no good reason. I mean the situation I just described involved three people who are either my family or who I consider my family. Why do I do that? I think the best answer is, I'm human. I hear people talk about their social anxieties all the time. In fact, sometimes people come up to me, and ask me for advice on how to deal with anxieties. I honestly think if we are in situations like that, if we are with our friends and family, we shouldn't have to be worried about that kind of stuff. If we can understand that not everyone is thinking about how stupid we look, I think we can all “dance” with a bit more confidence.

Have A Greattastic Day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri.

Hotel Ulibarri

Hotel Ulibarri

My dad's family is huge. It feels like every week I find out about a new relative. Dad has two sisters, my aunt Alicia, and my aunt Eva (who just got engaged last weekend *Round of Applause*). Alicia has three children who are all older than me, Alexander, Austin, and Paige. When the kids turned 13, Alicia and her husband Paul, would send the kids up to my house for a visit. That tradition eventually evolved into what can be described as "Hotel Ulibarri".

It started when I was in 5th grade. When Alexander was 19 he was looking for a job and Dad had a lot of work, so he moved up and lived with us for more than a year. He worked at Kobolt Studios (dad's art studio) and rode his bike to work with dad every day. He became a big brother to me. He eventually moved back to Florida, but little did I know that the cycle had begun.

The summer of my freshman year in high school, Eva got an internship in Ohio. The next summer, Paige got an internship here. At the same time, Austin was at Ohio University about an hour away, so we saw him every once in a while. Once Page’s internship was over, We only had my grandpa (Pop-pop) come to visit a couple times a year, including every Thanksgiving with Eva. But this year was when things really got crazy.

Back in December, Austin graduated from OU. Alicia and Paul came, picked him up, and they flew home. My family has a ranch in New Mexico. I don't know exactly how many people live there, but I know of at least three, my great-uncle, Rock, and his twin sons, Rocky and Adam. Rocky is a contract worker and he got a job in Columbus. The job was to last three weeks, but he's been here for three months. I'm happy about that though, because it has been really fun having him here.

Now while all that was happening, Austin was at home helping his mom with her business, Alicia Spears Realty, and applying for jobs. He missed his friends from OU, who live here. He applied for a job in Columbus and he got it and has been living with us for two months while looking for an apartment. Needless to say, the last few months have been filled with extra laughs, and a lot of ridiculousness!

An awesome example of this happened a month ago. Austin had been on a run, and he got “chased by deer.” He was kind of traumatized by this incident. At dinner we started talking  about other events like that, and it came to light that he is terrified of raccoons. I kid you not, mid-conversation we saw a baby raccoon out the window right by his car. He was so freaked out that when he went to the store that night, he had my baby brother, Luke walk him out to his car.

Rocky came home from work while Austin was still at the store. “Hey Man!” he said, hugging me when he walked in the door.

“Dude, you won't believe what happened!” I told him about the deer and raccoon, and then I explained the fears and the current situation.

“You know what you should do,” my dad said.

“What?" we inquired.

“You should get dressed up in your ape costume from Halloween, and then when he gets home pop out and scare him.” I immediately ran downstairs to the basement, and put the costume on. I couldn’t find the ape mask, so I put on a skull mask instead.

Unfortunately, the scare was not successful, we walked back into the house and I realized Austin was carrying a shopping basket from my store.

“You know you’re not supposed to bring those home right?”

“Nobody said I couldn’t,” he responded.

I was in shock. It was just so random I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. I always thought that you had to go somewhere to have an adventure, but sometimes, the adventures unfold in the comfort of your own “hotel”.

Have a greattastic day

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

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A New Adventure

A New Adventure

As I've mentioned a hundred times before, I grew up next door to four girls who have become my “sisters”. In this blog, I refer to them as: August, Arden, Aspen, and Arlo. Our friendship has been strong for the last 9 years, and we have had many adventures. Last Saturday was a sad day for our little group. August had a flight to Colorado, because she has a summer job there. To compound the sadness, Arden moved to Colorado indefinitely this last Wednesday. So even though August is returning at the end of the summer, a “Greattastic Era” ended with her leaving, because nothing will ever be the same.

Last Sunday, as we do every week, my family went to Mass. No sooner had it started then I saw Arden, sitting on the other side of the church. I tried to concentrate on the mass/praying, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop crying. About halfway through, I had to go to the bathroom to get tissues and calm myself down. When I returned into the church, I decided to sit with Arden for the rest of the Mass.

When Mass was over, we went to the drive-thru at the Crimson Cup across the street and Arden gave me the “it's all going to be ok” speech. “You know this doesn't mean we're not friends anymore.” she said, “We've been together too long, this isn't going to change anything, and you know I'm going to fly back as much as possible.” Logically I knew she was right, but my heart couldn’t really believe her.

The next day something else happened. One of my friends quit his job. It is not public knowledge yet. As a result, I'm not going to say what he quit doing, though I will write another blog to send him off. He texted me and told me he was leaving. It was a little too much for me too fast, so I went on a walk to clear my head.

I was going to walk down to the rose garden in town (better known as the Park of Roses), and then walk home. To get there from the street I was walking on, you have to walk past a little playground. I got to the playground and at first everything looked normal. Kids playing while parents watched. Suddenly I noticed that the ground around me was wet. I looked around and saw that a huge pond had formed where it should not have. It was about the size of a football field. Huge trees sprouted from the makeshift pond, and in the middle of the pond stood a bench. The water was so high, I couldn't see the legs of the bench, so it looked like it was floating on the water.

All my instincts were telling me to jump in and stand on the bench, because it would be a good picture for the blogs social media. The only reason I did not go in was because I was afraid it was a sewage leak. Still, I walked around the perimeter, always keeping my eye on that bench...continually tempting myself.

I saw a woman and her daughter also eyeing the bench. The woman had a really nice camera around her neck, and she was taking pictures of everything. The woman said she wanted to get on the bench, and I expressed my concerns. “It's just a water main break.” The woman said, “it's more or less tap water.” I smiled, looked into her eyes, and without a second of hesitation waded through the knee deep water to the bench.

Change is hard, it always has been, and it always will be. But no matter what, whenever there is a change, there's always a new adventure filled with new friends, and new stories to tell. Don't forget who you were before the change. Don't just keep replaying all the hits- like a Disney movie. In an attempt to both move on, but remember my past I've decided to do something small, but meaningful to me. I've decided to start going by the nickname that my “sisters” gave to me. This will signify, that no matter what happens to our little group, the girls will always be with me. So, I guess there's only one thing left to say now:

Dear Arden, thank you for everything. Thank you for being my friend, and keeping us together through thick and thin. I promise to watch out for your sisters while you're gone. But you have to promise me something. Always remember how cool you are, and know that you are loved by all of us back home. Cuz…

Our lives have been Greattastic with you.

J. Mitchie Ulibarri   

Never Walk Alone

Never Walk Alone

Hello! Before I go and jump into things, I just want to give a huge shout out to Mitch for letting me write this post and feature it on this awesome blog. It’s something I’ve been keeping up with and wanting to do for a while, so I’m excited! Let’s jump into it.

My name is Ronnie Wollett and I grew up for half of my childhood in Clintonville, and the other half of my childhood/adult life in Worthington, Ohio. I give that background for anyone reading who isn’t familiar with where I am originally from, because it will give some insight into how I know Mitch. I want to talk to everyone today about the importance of taking care of your mental health, and how I have learned about its importance.

My journey through mental health has been long and arduous. That being said, it’s been formative, and has inspired me to grow in a way I never thought possible. To keep my journey as brief as possible, I have struggled with depression my entire life. For the majority of that time, I had no idea how to express to friends and family that I was naturally depressed. I have no verbiage or way to communicate my pain. That’s when I first began having suicidal ideation. From that point on in my mid teens, it was a constant struggle with my mind. All up until I attended Miami University, where I would experience the best of times, and the worst; an attempt on my life. In that moment I did not believe I would see the coming day. Yet, I stand here today writing to you. I am truly blessed.

From that dark moment, I began to address my mental illness with medication, therapy and intense introspection that would come to define my comprehensive journey into a greater state of mental maturity. I would learn to reach out to friends, family, and others for help when I needed it, and that became a cornerstone of recovery for me. Out of that, sprung the mental health organization I started at Ohio State called Never Walk Alone. Never Walk Alone aims to C.A.R.E: Connect students with other struggling with a mental illness or ones wanting to support, Advertise the university resources available to combat mental illness, Raise money for mental health organizations, and End the stigma surrounding mental health dialogue. It has quickly become one of the largest mental health organizations on campus, not only by volume, but by involvement and campus impact.

Many underestimate the power of reaching out, but I believe firmly that along with medication and therapy, peer support is one of the largest pillars in recovering from, living with, and thriving with a mental illness. Knowing that you are not alone, that you have a support network behind you that you can lean on goes further than most people think in regard to your mental health. My advice is always to learn about yourself as you walk through recovery, and to always make the hardest and best step, to reach out to others for their advice and help.

Recovery is never linear, and you CAN persevere. Whether you struggle or not, mental health is such an important part of anyone’s life, so know the signs of struggle, be able to help in a productive and safe manner, and look out for yourself and your friends. Make sure you or anyone you know, never walks alone. Those are some rules for a Greattastic Day!

Thank you again Mitch! I hope to write for you again. -Ronnie

Dr. Mitch Returns

Dr. Mitch Returns

As I stated in blog 5: “Dr. Mitch (Happy B-day ‘Max’)”, the nickname Dr. Mitch was given to me by my friend Max, after I calmed him down. It was a nickname that gave me confidence,  and helped shape me into the person I am today. I also mentioned in that blog, (as the title implies) that it was Max’s birthday at the time, and I had gone to his birthday party. His birthday party was at the movie theater where he works. It was a fun night because I got to see him, his family, and another friend from HLC (all of whom I had not seen in years). But there were two other people at this party- A couple of my former teachers from HLC. 

Throughout the night, Max, the other friend, and myself were reminiscing about the “glory days”.  At one point I asked, “do you guys still keep in contact with other people from Haugland?” They rattled off a few names, and Max mentioned that he texts Kathy all the time. Kathy (or Ms. Fox as I have always known her) is one of the teachers that was at the party.

Now a couple months passed, and I was talking to my Nimba (Grandma), about how to get a little more publicity for the blog. At some point public speaking came up, but I had no idea where I would speak. Then I remembered that Max still talks to Ms. Fox. I texted Max, got her number, and we decided that I would do presentation for the high school kids.

That day came yesterday (5/17/19), and I was so excited when I woke up. I got in one last little practice, took a shower, got dressed and headed to HLC. It was really weird to be back, almost like I was dreaming. I could not get myself to believe I was back. Screams of over-excited children filled the school at recess, and teachers greeted me with smiles and hugs- It was like I never left.

After some minor technical complications, the presentation began. Within the presentation I went over three topics: how to get a job, how to survive college, and how to sustain friendships. When I finished the most amazing thing happened, the students started to ask me meaningful questions- they were paying attention! I felt like for the first time in almost six years, I was Dr. Mitch and it was awesome!

Now the reason I bring this up is because of what it is going to lead to. When Ms. Fox was walking me out, we were talking about me coming back, and I expressed my feelings about making a partnership with HLC. We haven’t worked out all the details, but we are going to figure it out as we go. I am hoping my partnership with Haugland will be beneficial to the autism community. I hope that I can live up to the title Dr. Mitch.

Have a greattastic day

J. Mitchell Ulibarri

P.S. I am also doing a presentation at Ohio State University Monday! I will make a video update that night.

To Judge a Fish

To Judge a Fish

As I have As I have mentioned before, internships were a part of my high school. Just as a refresher, here's how the internship program worked. Freshman year- you go to a pre-chosen site with a large group of students, and a teacher on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sophomore year- same except with a smaller group. Junior year- you get to choose your own site and you do it on your own. Senior year- you go to a site full time for the second semester.

My freshman year I worked at a daycare. I was placed in the 3 & 4 year old classroom with another girl from my school. We both ended up planning our own activities for the kids to do. Mine was a sensory game in which the kids would pull clay apart to find coins I had hidden in it. This was the year I decided that I wanted to be a teacher.

My junior year I was at my old grade school. I worked with grades 1-5. During that year, I did so much it's impossible to describe it all. But I was basically just a glorified teacher's aide. And I say glorified, because the kids loved me. I mean, every time I walk into the classrooms, they all just look at me with a huge grin on their faces; sometimes they even cheered.

I enjoyed it so much and really did not want to leave, so for my senior year site I found a way to return. This time I worked with the sixth grade teacher almost entirely. He and I built a friendship, and he is one of the best mentors I have ever had. I was allowed to make my own lesson plans, I got my own desk and I felt like an actual teacher!

I graduated last year around this time, with high honors. How many kids with autism can actually say that? Honestly I probably wouldn’t be able to say that, if it wasn’t for my high school. While I do have a lot of complaints about it, it was very individualized and worked well for me. They would show inspirational quotes and videos. My favorite one started off with a quote by Albert Einstein that goes a little something like this, “Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.”

As soon as I heard that quote I realized that is the best way to describe autism. You can't judge people on the spectrum by the same criteria, because they might not physically be able to do what you are asking of them no matter how hard they try. Telling a kid with autism to make friends “normally”, or do better in school is like telling a fish the climb tree. We need to support people with autism and judge them not by what they can't do, but by what they can do.

Have a greattastic day!

~J. Mitchell Ulibarri

PS- Congratulations Cousin Simple on releasing your new song  Star Destroyers. Rock on.

Expect the Unexpected

Expect the Unexpected

Mitchell:Before this blog starts I have something to say. The person who wrote this blog, is not only my “sister”, but she is also one of my biggest supports. If I ever need to talk, she is always there. Last Monday, she  officially became a sonographer and she's moving 1300 miles away for her new job in a couple of weeks. I just wanted to tell her “Congratulations, and thank you for always being there for me. I can't wait to see what God has planned for you. Love you Arden!”

Arden: Hi there.

I’m one of Mitchell’s best friends. Due to his stress level reaching an all time high, he allowed me to take over his blog for the week because it’s that time of year; finals season. It goes without saying that during finals week as well as the weeks leading up to it, one barely has time for anything else. Anyway, if you’ve been keeping up with Mitchell’s weekly blogs, you’ll know that we grew up together and he is basically the brother I never had. I have to warn you, though, I tend to be more math and science oriented and writing is not my strong suit. So, without further ado, here goes nothing.

My three sisters and Mitchell have always pursued life with more of a creative approach. Instead of staying inside and watching TV, playing video games, or just simply doing things the average kid would do, we would always be climbing trees and trying to parachute out of them, building teepees and other various forts, pretending we were in an alternate universe, painting Mitchell gold, and a myriad of other things. It’s safe to say that we’ve adapted this approach as young adults and we’ve come to welcome the fact that when one approaches new experiences with the same enthusiasm and free-spiritedness similar to when we were kids, awesome things start to happen. I like to call it the “expect the unexpected” movement.

Even when we aren’t all together for our usual shenanigans and adventures, the spirit of the group tends to follow us wherever we go. For example, I’ve gone on multiple trips without Mitchell and/or the girls and I now eagerly anticipate the unexpected that could (and usually always does) happen on any trip. Like the time one of my best friends and I hiked through Hurricane Michael in the Great Smoky Mountains and made it to a lookout spot just in time to see the white cloudy blanket separate and reveal the most amazing view I had ever seen. Or the time the same friend and I hiked through Colorado’s record blizzard season up into the Flatirons. Or the time I was at a fancy restaurant about to eat dinner and a baby mouse fell from the ceiling onto our table and then proceeded to scurry around the kitchen with the chefs going crazy trying to catch it…and yes, we did end up getting our dinner on the house.

Unfortunately, our society teaches us that we can control pretty much everything. There is an unlimited amount of filters or editing software to help us manipulate and control our looks and insecurities. There are programs that help us micromanage pretty much every aspect of life among other outlets that help us to “control”. Where’s the fun in that? Trust me, it’s definitely difficult to simply let go and let things happen as they do. As Mitchell mentioned in a couple blogs ago, I will be starting a new chapter in my life and moving cross country. Although, it’s terrifying to do alone, it’s also comforting to know that the right attitude and enthusiasm can make a world of difference. And even though I’ll be on the opposite side of the country, I will always be looking for a “piece of home” in the unexpected surprises that always come with every adventure.

The thing about the unexpected is the certainty of it happening. It’s just a matter of embracing the many possibilities and numerous memories that come with spontaneity. Be open and always remember, when you start to expect the unexpected, great things start to happen. Some might even say, greattastic.

Have a greattastic day!
Arden aka Han