Let her Go
I woke up and rolled off my mattress. I looked over to the oven clock to see the time. 9:30… I heard Arden moving around in her room.
We got up, ate breakfast, and get ready for our hike. We drove about an hour to a place called Lily Lake. The water was crystal clear, and it was surrounded by these huge mountains and rock formations. We climbed the mountains and rock formations until we got the tree line. I was behind Arden for most of the time so I got to the top about 30 seconds after her.
“Mitchie,” she said, “stay right there!” She pulled out her phone and started snapping pictures of me, with the mountains in the background.
After about 30 minutes of admiring everything around us, we returned to the car. We drove home, and decided to go out for dinner. We walked to an Italian restaurant that was down the street from Arden’s apartment.
After about 30 minutes of admiring everything around us, we returned to the car. We drove home, and decided to go out for dinner. We walked to an Italian restaurant that was down the street from Arden’s apartment.
We sat down an ordered drinks. I forget what the official name for it is, but I got something with vodka in it…. a lot of vodka in it. I am naturally an open book, but because I was a little tipsy, I was even more so. Arden and I started talking, and she asked me a question she has been asking me for years. “So any new girls in your life?”
“Ha!” I exclaimed, “No.”
“What about that one girl you told me about?”
“What one gi… oh from work! Yeah, that's not going to work.”
“Why?”
“Cuz it never works.” Arden asked me a few questions and was able to figure out what the problem was immediately.
“You're still stuck on S.M!”
“No, I'm not!” I exclaimed trying to deny it.
“Mitchell, she's your screensaver.” We look at each other and laughed awkwardly. “Are you doing ok?”
“Yeah,” I said, “I just can’t let her go.”
We talked for a couple hours about this. She listened and was very supportive, even though S.M. passed away nearly 10 years ago. At the end of the night, I asked Arden what I should do. She suggested that I start slow. Maybe just change my screensaver on my phone. I took her advice and I changed my screensaver to a picture that she had taken when we were on the hike.
I know that no matter what I do I'm still going to love S.M. and I wouldn't want it any other way, but I know that's unhealthy to hold on to her. I know She understands that I have to let her go, and I hope that I can move on.
Have a Greattastic day
J. Mitchie Ulibarri
So true. Took my son more than 2 years to move on. Neither party had much of a choice. Sadly his standards changed. They had made each other better people.
ReplyDeleteIt doesnt have to be letting go. You don't have to look at it like that. She can always be a part of you and whoever you are with in the future. She helped make you the person you are now and that is an amazing guy so keep her with you and introduce that part of you to anyone you meet and love. If they love you it will be ok.
ReplyDelete