If You're Happy And You Know It Flap Your Hands
When I was growing up I loved a lot of things. Super Mario and other Nintendo video games, most things Disney/Pixar, going to Chuck-E-Cheese, etc... All of these things and more resulted in a very specific reaction from me. I would make a squealing noise and viciously slap my hands together up and down. I had the following conversation with both of my parents, and every adult in my mom's immediate family, at least a thousand times:
Me: *starts flapping*
Adult: Mitchell doesn't that hurt!?!
Me: No.
Adult: Well, it sounds like it does! Don't do that!
Now my family just didn't understand what was going on, how could they? To them it looked like every time I got excited, I would hit myself. This would be disturbing to any parent or family member, but it wasn't like that at all.
Sometimes there are so many emotions going on and they are all so intense, that words can't possibly describe them accurately. As a result, these emotions build up in my chest. The longer I go without releasing those emotions, the bigger the ball in my chest gets. If I wait long enough it feels like my chest is going to explode, like Sir John Hurt’s in the movie Alien. The flapping and the squealing noise releases that energy, in an act that in the Autism community is called stimming.
Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behavior and it's usually frowned upon in our society. It comes in many different forms including, but not be limited, to rocking back and forth, pacing, and most other stereotypical images that pop into people’s heads when they hear the word autism.
What people don't realize is everybody stims, people on the spectrum just have a flair for the dramatic! When was the last time you were tapping your pencil or clicking your pen? What about biting your nails? Tapping your foot? All of those are stims that “normal” people do on a regular basis. As an adult, I have from time to time exhibited stims in public, and I have definitely seen a few dirty looks. So why is it that autistic stimming is looked down upon over “normal” stimming?
The only explanation I can come up with is that it's disruptive. Pencil and foot-tapping, as well as pen clicking, is also distracting! Admittedly it's less distracting, but my point still stands- it's distracting on some level! I wish new the answer to that question as to why people look down on this, but I don't have one. I can suggest that the next time you see an autistic person stimming in public, understand what is happening. Glaring at them can make them feel uncomfortable. Have compassion, just know that they are flapping or whatever other stims they're doing, because they are feeling an overwhelming amount of emotion!
Have a Greattastic day
J. Mitchie Ulibarri
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