Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 6: 4 Marshalls and a Fiddle

Four Marshalls and a Fiddle

When I first met Marshall it was through two of my “sisters”. August and Arden got a job at a local bakery. While there, they met Marshall and his roommate at the time, Ricky. The two boys became very close with August and Arden and they all went on adventures together that I tagged along on.

For a long time, Arden has been playing the violin. It came up very early in our friendship that Marshall wanted to learn how to play. He had an old one that wasn't in very good condition, so he went to the store and got a new one. Arden taught him for a while, but their schedules didn't line up often enough so Marshall eventually got a teacher.

For the last 4 months, Marshall has been taking violin lessons. Unfortunately, the lessons became a little too expensive. He still played, but he needed to find someone who could mentor him in the art of playing the violin.

About a month ago, I went to the Civil War ball with Marshall, Arden’s best friend Jane, and a group of her friends. While we sashayed away and my monocle went missing, there was another situation developing. The band that was playing the Civil War era music that we were all dancing to, was a group of older people and two of them were violinist.

When the dance was over, Marshall walked up to the two violinists and introduced himself. This was when he learned that both the violinist names were Marshall. The three Marshalls got to talking and the older Marshalls told mine they are part of a folk music group that gets together on the first Wednesday of the month, and every Sunday night. 

On the first Wednesday of this month, we went to the bar where they meet. Everyone sat on a stage in a little circle, with their instrument at the ready. Marshall found himself a little seat and when the group started playing he started playing by ear.

As I watched I saw a man who was also sitting and watching. I walked up to him and introduced myself. “Hello,” I said extending my hand, “my name is Mitchell.” 

“Hey,” the man said shaking my hand, “my name is Marshall.”

I told my Marshall what just happened and his response was, “It's a sign from above!” I believe that things happen for a reason. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and know that you're going to end up where you need to be.

Have a Greattastic day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 5: Coffeeshop Surprise

Coffeeshop Surprise

On Sunday last week, my “sister” Arden called me to catch me up on her life. We talked for almost two hours. During that time she asked me if I had any Valentine’s Day plans. I told her that I was planning to have breakfast with an old friend, then I was going to meet up with Marshall, and then I had to go to work at the school.

“Well,” she said, “would you be my Valentine?”

The reason that she asked me was that she knows I think of her as my sister, and she just wanted to freak me out. Jokingly I said yes, because why not? Little did I know what Valentine's Day would actually entail.

The day started out as planned, and I had breakfast with my friend, Anna. Anna and I started talking about things that have been going on. Anna is a big fan of the blog and the podcast. She also went to school with Arden. As a result, she knows my relationship with Arden.

“Hey, how is Arden doing?”

“She's doing well, she's been going on a lot of adventures…same old, same old.”

When she and I were done with breakfast, I came home and did a little bit of writing. I had to go to work at 2:30, so at 1:30 Marshall picked me up to go to Crimson Cup. We were having a conversation as we walked up the sidewalk to Crimson Cup. I stopped talking mid-sentence.

“Hi”, Arden said as she walked out the door to meet us, “do I know you from somewhere?”

I couldn't process what was happening. I thought I had seen a ghost. “What are you doing here?!” I exclaimed.

“Oh come on Mitchie, you know if you’re going to be someone’s Valentine you have to see them on Valentine's Day!”

That's how my weekend started, and the craziness has not died down since. And let me tell you it has been Greattastic!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 4: If You're Happy And You Know It Flap Your Hands

If You're Happy And You Know It Flap Your Hands

When I was growing up I loved a lot of things. Super Mario and other Nintendo video games, most things Disney/Pixar, going to Chuck-E-Cheese, etc... All of these things and more resulted in a very specific reaction from me. I would make a squealing noise and viciously slap my hands together up and down. I had the following conversation with both of my parents, and every adult in my mom's immediate family, at least a thousand times:

Me: *starts flapping*

Adult: Mitchell doesn't that hurt!?!

Me: No.

Adult: Well, it sounds like it does! Don't do that!

Now my family just didn't understand what was going on, how could they? To them it looked like every time I got excited, I would hit myself. This would be disturbing to any parent or family member, but it wasn't like that at all.

Sometimes there are so many emotions going on and they are all so intense, that words can't possibly describe them accurately. As a result, these emotions build up in my chest. The longer I go without releasing those emotions, the bigger the ball in my chest gets. If I wait long enough it feels like my chest is going to explode, like Sir John Hurt’s in the movie Alien. The flapping and the squealing noise releases that energy, in an act that in the Autism community is called stimming.

Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behavior and it's usually frowned upon in our society. It comes in many different forms including, but not be limited, to rocking back and forth, pacing, and most other stereotypical images that pop into people’s heads when they hear the word autism.

What people don't realize is everybody stims, people on the spectrum just have a flair for the dramatic! When was the last time you were tapping your pencil or clicking your pen? What about biting your nails? Tapping your foot? All of those are stims that “normal” people do on a regular basis. As an adult, I have from time to time exhibited stims in public, and I have definitely seen a few dirty looks.  So why is it that autistic stimming is looked down upon over “normal” stimming?

The only explanation I can come up with is that it's disruptive. Pencil and foot-tapping, as well as pen clicking, is also distracting! Admittedly it's less distracting, but my point still stands- it's distracting on some level! I wish new the answer to that question as to why people look down on this, but I don't have one. I can suggest that the next time you see an autistic person stimming in public, understand what is happening. Glaring at them can make them feel uncomfortable. Have compassion, just know that they are flapping or whatever other stims they're doing, because they are feeling an overwhelming amount of emotion!

Have a Greattastic day 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 3: The Prodigal Monocle

The Prodigal Monocle

Every year, near the end of January, there is a civil war ball held at the Ohio Statehouse. People dress up in Civil War-era dresses and suits and dance the way they did back then. I wore a top hat, an old-timey suit coat, a thin chain necklace with a monocle attached to it, and I used a black curtain rod that resembled an aristocratic cane.

Marshall and I walked into the ballroom, three minutes before the first dance was going to start. We managed to find our friend, Jane who we had planned on meeting there. The second she still saw me all dressed up, she laughed and told me I looked awesome! Then she asked if I wanted to dance with her.

The first dance of the night was called the Virginia Reel. There were many intricate parts to this dance, but at one point the “top couple” (the couple at the front of the room) was supposed to sashay between the rest of the group, who is arranged in two lines. When it was Jane and my turn to sashay tragedy struck!

Every time we moved my monocle would hit my chest. It hit once, twice, and on the third time, I thought it was going to hit Jane right in the face. Luckily for her, it did not. Instead, the chain around my neck broke, and my poor monocle flew right over her head, in slow-motion. We looked everywhere for it, but it seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth.

Jane introduced us to all her friends and we all danced together until refreshments were served. While we were enjoying our snacks, one of Jane's friends, Carrie, asked Marshall how we know Jane.

“She's my ‘sister’s’ best friend.” I explained.

“What's your ‘sister's’ name?”

“Arden Anderson.”

“Ah, the famous Arden! I've never met her, but I've heard a lot about her! Every time she's with Jane they have really bad luck!”

“It's not just with Jane!” I replied with a chuckle, “When I went to visit her, she cut her foot on a fence and had to get stitches!”

The night went on and Marshall, Jane, her friends and I all danced to our heart's content, and we just had a blast! At the end of the night the announcer, who had been telling us what dance was going to happen next, called everyone together to announce the best-dressed award. “Before we get started,” she said, “did anyone lose a monocle?”

Upon the announcement that the monocle had been found, our entire group cheered! I’m telling this story for a few reasons. One, I think it's funny, and its a neat little adventure. But most all, I bring it up because that monocle represents something else that has returned to me very recently- My adventurous spirit and confidence.

For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that three of my four “sisters” don't live around me anymore. The last one to leave, August, is gone for three months and she's probably going to move soon after she returns. The five months leading up to the day she left was agonizing, the day she left was devastating.

I was stressing out about her leaving, and “the end of the era” so much that I was just not myself. I mean yeah, I was still living life- being productive, and being kind of adventurous, but something just felt off. But now that the stress that has been building for 5 months is over, I feel excited for what's coming next! Sometimes you can lose a part of yourself, but much like my monocle, that part will always come back!

Have a Greattastic Day
J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 2: Noah

Noah

My friends have always been the best part of me. Samantha McCarthy (S.M.) and Elizabeth Buckley taught me how to love and how to remain positive no matter what happens in life. My former teachers (now co-workers) at Haugland Learning Center, along with my “sisters”, taught me to embrace my autism, and become the confident person I am today. I need friends because they make me better than I would be without them… Little did I know that I was about to make a great one.

A few months ago I was bagging at Kroger. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and it was one of my bosses. “Mitchell,” he said pointing, “Could you help that gentleman around the store.” I look where he was pointing and saw that standing at the customer service desk was a blind man. I walked up to him, introduced myself, helped him get a cart, and started shopping with him.

The blind man was named Noah, and over the course of the shopping trip, I got to know him quite well. He's 27 years old, he’s a musician (a very talented one, I would learn later), and he has dreams of playing on the paralympic soccer team in 2028!

At the end of the shopping trip, Noah asked me if he could have my social media information. He DM’d me about a week later, and we had coffee. We talked about our lives and our respective disabilities and bonded over similar struggles that we have both had. After having coffee a few more times, I texted him on Christmas Day and I asked him if he wanted to hang out again in January.

On Martin Luther King Day, because we both had the day off, I went to Noah’s apartment to listen to music and just hang out. When I got to the apartment building he let me in and lead me to his apartment. It was incredible to watch. He was able to do it with such ease. It was as if he was not blind!

When we got into his apartment we sat down and started to catch up. After a little bit of small talk, I asked him a question. “Hey Noah, I have a proposal for you.”

“Ok, what is it?”

“So you know how I told you my ‘sisters’ have all moved?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we made this friend Marshall, a couple years back and brought him into our friend group. So now that the girls are gone, it's just him and me… We were kind of wondering if you wanted to join our little friend group?”

“Of course” He exclaimed, “I would be happy too!”

As soon as he said that I smiled. I was really happy because I am excited for the new adventures that Marshall Noah and I will go on, and all the things I will learn from the two of them along the way.

Have a Greattastic Day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 1: Blind Man's Bluff

Blind Man's Bluff

I have never really liked sports. They always end the same way, one team is gonna win, one team is gonna lose. As many of you know I'm the oldest of four boys, and unlike me, the other three have always liked/been involved with sports.

There is a middle school close to my house called Ridgeview. Now Ridgeview has a ton of baseball fields. One of the back fields is located right next to a bridge that goes over a train track. Whenever the boys would have a game at Ridgeview I would just walk around, and not really watch the game. But one day when I was about 13, my brother Luke, had a game at that back most field and mom asked me to come and watch the game.

We had run out of chairs so mom gave me the keys to the car and told me that there was a blanket in the trunk. This would be a decision that mom would soon learn to regret. I walked all the way back to the parking lot, got to mom's honda odyssey, opened the trunk, grabbed the blanket, and started to return. I wasn't looking at where I was going when suddenly a baseball fence just appeared out of nowhere and I ran into it. I stepped backward and tripped over myself and fell on my back.

I laid there, contemplating all the bad decisions that led me to this moment. This is when three beautiful girls stood around me in a circle and looked down. The leader of this group of girls asked me if I was okay, and I blushed. There are so many things I could have said, “Yeah I’m ok… I wasn't looking where I was going.” Or “Yeah I'm fine- I'm just kind of a klutz.” But no, I had to be weird. I don't even know where I came up with the idea to say this, but the words that tumbled out of my mouth were, “Umm… Umm…. Umm… I’m blind.” and they believed me!

So these girls picked me up and started leading me around the ball fields trying to help me find my parents. All the while I’m trying to lead them anywhere, but to the bridge where my parents actually are. At the same time my brother Ryan, and the now lead singer in his band, Will were in the batting cages. Will who was about to throw a ball to Ryan, saw me out of the corner of his eye, turned to look at me, and mouthed “What the heck?!” In response, I winked at him and went on my merry way.

I don’t remember exactly how I got out of this specific situation. I would eventually try to pull off the same thing at a later game, where I totally learned my lesson not to pretend I’m something I’m not. The second time I tried this, hoping that some cute girls might come to my aid, an old concerned lady took me to the first aid station insisting that I must be dehydrated!

A few months ago I was bagging at Kroger. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and it was one of my bosses. “Mitchell,” he said pointing, “Could you help that gentleman around the store.” I look where he was pointing and saw that standing at the customer service desk was a blind man…

To be continued

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

New Years Blog 1: I Won A Bet With A CIA Agent

New Years Blog 1:I Won A Bet With A CIA Agent 

Before I actually this blog post I just wanted to update my previous blog, in case you didn’t see my Instagram/Facebook post. Kiera, a 13-year-old who went missing in my community, has been found! Thank you for all the support and please continue to send love and prayers to her family. Without further ado, let's get started.

My family decided that for the week between Christmas and New Years, we would drive down to Florida to see dad's side of the family. This worked ridiculously well for me, for a few reasons. Obviously, I got to see family and a few friends. We went to Epcot which was really fun, and I got to see my friends the Buckleys. An unintended side-effect of going to Florida was I was about to win a blizzard bet!

The girls I grew up with, who I call my “sisters” have had an incredible impact on my life, as you all know. But they're not the only ones in that family who have had such an impact. Their father let's call him Richard, has had a similar impact.

For one thing, Richard is the most sarcastic human being I've ever met. On top of this, he has what he would call in his own words a “sophomoric sense of humor”. If something funny comes into his head, he just says it. The resulting mixture causes some of the most epic dad jokes I've ever heard in my entire life. Being around him so much some of that humor has rubbed off on me.

While Richard’s sense of humor is a huge part of our friendship, we bond over something far bigger. He is an amazing person. Very kind, very understanding, and very humble. He was voted most outstanding Churchman of the year a few years back, and does a lot of charity work, through the Knights of Columbus, and other organizations. I view him as a mentor and someone I can talk to when I make really big mistakes (especially with his daughters, but that's a story for another time).

Richard works at a local bank… At least he claims to work at a local bank. I don't buy that story… I personally believe that he works for the CIA. My reasoning is as follows:

1. He worked as a park ranger when he was younger. I know for a fact he saw a lot of weird stuff, maybe he accidentally solved a case and the CIA was like, “Hey that kids pretty good!”

2. He literally knows everyone- Like if he needs a job done he knows the guy for it. And he's always getting used cars for his kids, from random friends. I feel like all these people he knows, are either people he works with, or people whose lives he has saved, and he is just calling in favors.

I know I have explained the concept of Blizzard bets before, but here's a little refresher. Basically, it's exactly what it sounds like. You make a bet on a Dairy Queen Blizzard.

About 4 years ago I was over at my “sisters” house and I was singing “Here Comes the Sun”. Richard asked me “Who sings that?” I energetically answered the Beatles, and without a second of hesitation Richard responded with, “well why don’t you let them!”

Over the next three years, the same situation happened over and over. By the time 2019 came around, I was starting to build up an immunity to it and in March I started getting really cocky.

“You’re never going to get me, old man!” I said dramatically after he failed in getting me to say it.

“I’ll tell you what Mitchell,” Richard said, “I don’t catch you for by January first I owe you a blizzard. But if I or one of my CIA operatives get you to say who wrote a song then you owe me a blizzard!”

It was 11:58 and I called Richard mostly to gloat. When the clock struck midnight, my family started wishing everyone a happy new year. While all this is going on Richard said over the phone, “see what you can do when you put your mind to it, you beat a CIA agent in a bet!” I chuckled to myself not only because I now have bragging rights, but also because I have an amazing friend and mentor in Richard Anderson. 

Have a Greattastic new year! 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri