Let her Go

 

Let her Go

I woke up and rolled off my mattress. I looked over to the oven clock to see the time. 9:30… I heard Arden moving around in her room. 

We got up, ate breakfast, and get ready for our hike. We drove about an hour to a place called Lily Lake. The water was crystal clear, and it was surrounded by these huge mountains and rock formations. We climbed the mountains and rock formations until we got the tree line. I was behind Arden for most of the time so I got to the top about 30 seconds after her.

“Mitchie,” she said, “stay right there!” She pulled out her phone and started snapping pictures of me, with the mountains in the background.

After about 30 minutes of admiring everything around us, we returned to the car. We drove home, and decided to go out for dinner. We walked to an Italian restaurant that was down the street from Arden’s apartment.

We sat down an ordered drinks. I forget what the official name for it is, but I got something with vodka in it…. a lot of vodka in it. I am naturally an open book, but because I was a little tipsy, I was even more so. Arden and I started talking, and she asked me a question she has been asking me for years. “So any new girls in your life?”

“Ha!” I exclaimed, “No.”

“What about that one girl you told me about?”

“What one gi… oh from work! Yeah, that's not going to work.”

“Why?”

“Cuz it never works.” Arden asked me a few questions and was able to figure out what the problem was immediately.

“You're still stuck on S.M!”

“No, I'm not!” I exclaimed trying to deny it.

“Mitchell, she's your screensaver.” We look at each other and laughed awkwardly. “Are you doing ok?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I just can’t let her go.”

We talked for a couple hours about this. She listened and was very supportive, even though S.M. passed away nearly 10 years ago. At the end of the night, I asked Arden what I should do. She suggested that I start slow. Maybe just change my screensaver on my phone. I took her advice and I changed my screensaver to a picture that she had taken when we were on the hike.

I know that no matter what I do I'm still going to love S.M. and I wouldn't want it any other way, but I know that's unhealthy to hold on to her. I know She understands that I have to let her go, and I hope that I can move on. 

Have a Greattastic day

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

When Plans Get Cut Short

When Plans Get Cut Short

“Arden,” I said into the phone, “turn around!” She looked away from the baggage claim, and she saw me. We hugged and jumped up and down because we were so excited to see each other. We drove from the Denver airport to her apartment in Loveland, Colorado. We made dinner, had a little too much to drink, and then accidentally broke a few potted plants that she was trying to hang on her curtain rod. I haven't laughed so hard all summer. We then went up to the rooftop balcony and met her friend Alex, and his dog Kobi. 

We woke up on Sunday morning and Arden and I got in the car to go to Goat yoga. Goat yoga, for those of you who don’t know, is yoga except there are goats climbing all over you (couldn’t wait to experience this!!). We got there late, because of course, we were, so we decided to do it another day. We went back to the apartment and Alex texted Arden. He asked if we wanted to go on a little hike around 12. We had decided to go to mass at 5:30, so we had time.

We drove for about 15 minutes and we ended up in the foothills. We put on Kobi's leash and started the hike. To get to the trail we had to walk over a narrow bridge. On the right and left sides of the bridge, there were metal fences so people don't fall into the dam below. A good idea in theory, except that the bottoms of these fences were curled in, so walking on the bridge was very dangerous. My boot got caught under the fence and I tripped forward. I screamed, slightly panicked. Arden and Alex asked me what happened, and as I was explaining Arden, who was only wearing sandals, caught her foot under the fence as well. 

She kept walking as if nothing had happened, but by the time we finished crossing the bridge, blood was everywhere. Alex gave me the dog and ran as fast as he could back to the car to get napkins. While we were trying to stop the bleeding, an older couple came up to us and gave us rubbing alcohol and some Band-Aids, then they prayed over her.

Because it was my first full day, and because she really wanted to go, Arden told us that she would be fine, and we should continue on the walk. As the walk went on, we started to realize Arden was in pain because she started to shut down and she stopped talking to us, so we decided it was time to go home. 

We got back to her apartment and helped her change her bandage. She signed up online to go to the MinuteClinic and we got an appointment 15 minutes later. Alex was supposed to have dinner with his mom, and since I don’t drive he asked if Arden could drive on her own.

“Yeah I'll be fine,” she said, and we believed her until she said, “although I do feel like I'm going to pass out,” as she laid down on my air mattress. Alex took Kobi to his apartment upstairs and then he drove us. About 30 minutes, 7 stitches, and 1 tetanus shot later, Arden was good as new.

We went to Mass (though we were a little late), had dinner, Arden played a song on her violin, and then we started getting ready for bed. I told her goodnight and she said, “sorry today was a bust.”

“It wasn't a bust Arden!” I replied, “At least it wasn't boring. Sometimes your plans get cut short, you just got to go with the flow.”

“Hardy har har!” She said trying not to smile. All of a sudden we heard a crash, “What was that!” She exclaimed.

“I don't know, but with our luck, it's probably an armed robber….” We then both looked around the corner ready to fight for our lives….

To Be Continued...
J. Mitchie Ulibarri

The Blizzard Bet

The Blizzard Bet

As I have said before, I grew up next door to four girls. Their names are August, Arden, Aspen, and Arlo Anderson. We went through many trials but, eventually, they became my “sisters”. Very early on in our friendship, I learned about the “blizzard bet”. The idea is instead of betting money, you owe someone a Dairy Queen blizzard if you lose a bet. In October of 2018, Aspen broke tradition.

It was Aspen’s birthday, so August, Arden, Arlo, and I decided to paint her room as a gift. Aspen got done at the gym earlier than expected and she was heading home. We thought fast and their mom thought of something she could pick up from Kroger. While it was a good idea, I estimated that it would only distract her for 10 minutes tops, so I called mom and asked her to send me her grocery list as well. 

When Aspen got home we executed our plan. While in the car on our way to Kroger, I was incredibly excited, I just couldn't stop smiling. She saw my smile and she became slightly suspicious. She asked me what was going on. I started to stutter because I didn't know what to say. Then I remembered something that had happened the week before.

My dad owns an art studio, and when I was younger my grandma, who we call Nimba, would work with mom from my house. Even though mom has started working at the studio as of late, Nimba still comes to the house a couple days a week. That particular week Nimba and I had been talking about me getting my driver's license. She eventually talked me into it, even though I had been hesitant at first. I told Aspen the news, to distract her from the surprise. 

“When are you going to get it?”  she asked.

“I don't know” I replied.

We pulled up to Kroger and I grabbed a cart. At the same time, Aspen grabbed a little basket. Seeing a chance to buy the others at least a couple minutes, I picked a fight. “Aspen,  with the stuff your mom wants us to get, and the stuff my mom wants me to get it would be stupid just to get a basket!”

“Are you calling me stupid?” Aspen asked.

“Maybe…” I said sarcastically.

         

“Okay fine Mr. know-it-all, let's make a bet!”

“I'm game! The normal wager?”

“How about this, if we can't fit everything in this basket, I will buy you a blizzard”, she said, extending her hand. “But if we can, you have to get your driver's license before January 1st.”

I thought about it for a second, and I agreed to her terms. Watching her walk around the store and fit things into that little basket, was like watching someone play Tetris…I lost the bet. I was planning on getting my license like she said before January 1st of this year however, I did something stupid. I wanted to keep it a secret from mom and dad so I could surprise them. I couldn't get anything done because I couldn't get to the BMV on my own.

At the beginning of the summer the bet was brought back up, and technically I didn't uphold my end of the bargain. Arlo turns sixteen next March, so she's able to get her temps very soon. I decided that I would do the classes with her, and hopefully, I will have my driver's license before THIS January 1st ...more to come.  

Have a Greattastic day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Know you are Loved

Know you are Loved

As many of you may know, last Monday was Mitchmas. What’s Mitchmas, you might ask… well, that’s what I call my birthday….don’t judge me, lol.

Over the summer two of my four “sisters” were in Colorado. August, the oldest, went for a summer job as a camp counselor. Arden, the second oldest, got a full-time job as a sonographer. Now because August was at a camp, she didn’t have WiFi a lot. As a result, I only face-timed/called her three times over the whole summer. 

About a week before she came back, August asked if we could facetime, I said yes and I started to walk upstairs to so we could talk. Mom asked me where I was going, and I explained. 

We talked for about an hour, about all the crazy things that had happened to us over the summer. As she continued to talk, I laughed harder and harder. When we were done I went back downstairs into the kitchen. 

On the countertop was mom’s phone, and as soon as I walked past it she got a text. I would have walked right past, except I recognize the name immediately. It was Arden.

“Mama,”  I asked, “why are you texting Arden?”

“Oh!” she exclaimed grabbing her phone from the countertop, “I asked her what was going on upstairs  because you were going crazy!”

When I went to bed that night I started thinking about the events of the night and realized something was up. I had told mom that I was talking to August specifically… mom would not have texted Arden to figure out what was going on because Arden didn’t know. But I kept my mouth shut (which admittedly is out of character), and moved on with my life.

Every year Arden makes a birthday video for me. It’s a collection of pictures and videos from the past year, and all the adventures we have been on. On Monday, Arden emailed it to August and me. August hooked her computer up to the TV, and August, Arlo (the youngest sister), Arlo’s best friend, and I sat down to watch. (Our other sister moved to Florida, but we face-timed Arden).

The first four minutes were pretty standard for a birthday video, but then Arden came on the screen, and started talking. She explained that she had gathered video clips from people who have been touched by my life, telling me why they love me. They were people in my family, to people in my brother’s band, to a former student, even S.M’s mom and brother made an appearance. It was awesome!

I’m not gonna say I didn’t know I touched these people’s lives, but I didn’t really think about it. I’m writing about this because everyone could have one of these videos made about them. Everyone touches someone else’s life in some way. Know you are loved by everyone around you!

Have a Greattastic Day

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Not a Disability

Not a Disability

This is less of a blog and more of an acknowledgment of a change that has happened within my blog. A total shift that you may or may not have noticed. This may be an obvious point that I'm making, but I do not feel comfortable continuing to write this blog until I know for a fact that everyone understands this change. 

My autism diagnosis was at the end of sixth grade. Being diagnosed was awesome because I finally had an explanation as to what was making me so different. On the flip side, I wasn't completely able to understand what was going on because I was diagnosed so fast, and was just thrown into this new world. It was all very surreal, and though initially, I was able to accept myself, it still took me a good couple of months to completely adjust to this new way of life. No one was able to tell me, what autism really was when I was a kid… it was just sort of the way life was, and I didn't think it really needed an explanation.

As I've stated before, my brother Ryan eventually caught up to my grade level, and this combined with a few other circumstances caused me to try to cut autism out of my life. I went my entire high school career pretending I wasn't autistic.

I had an internship at my old school, Our Lady of Peace (Olp), for about three years. During my second year, I worked with the English teacher for 6-8th grades. My internship started after Christmas break. I went to the school and asked the teacher what book I should read so I could help teach a lesson on it. He handed me a book called Mockingbird. 

The book is about a girl who has to deal with the traumatic loss of her brother. Her brother was her eyes to the world because she has (just by pure coincidence) Asperger’s Syndrome. For those of you who don't know Asperger's is a “milder” form of autism, and it is technically the kind of autism I have. I say technically because it is an outdated term, now covered under the term Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I will go into more detail on that in a later blog.

When school started up, I told the teacher about my diagnosis and ASD. He suggested that before they start the book, I give a lesson explaining why Asperger's is outdated. The day finally came and I stood in front of the class and gave my lesson. Doing that lesson, and explaining what autism is helped me to re-accept autism as part of who I am.

When I started this blog, the main idea was to help people and their families navigate the new world that they have found themselves in. The problem was I was still out of touch with the autism community at the time. I've come to realize that autism is a lot more… I don't want to say mainstream, but I can't think of any other word… Autism is a lot more mainstream then it was when I was diagnosed. There is a lot more information on it. As a result, this blog has evolved into something else. It's more just the story of what I'm going through day-to-day, in spite of being autistic, in spite of feeling like I'm not good enough. I've realized that Autism or any learning disability, you name it, is only a disability if you let it be a disability. I mean if I can even think about going to Japan, I’m 100% sure nearly any kid who Is “disabled” can do whatever they want to do in life. I do plan on writing articles about autism every once in a while, but the main moral of Rules for a Greattastic Life is “if I can do it… so can they/you.”

Have a greattastic day

J. Mitchie Ulibarri 

Japan part 2: Chance of a Lifetime

Japan part 2: Chance of a Lifetime

I have had a rough summer. It all started about a month and a half before finals week. I met this girl, and we started doing a lot of studying together. No matter how hard I tried, and no matter how much help both this girl and my family/friends tried to give me, I just couldn't get it. I started doubting everything about myself. 

At last, I took my final test, and passed…if only by a little bit. As summer started I was really thinking that maybe college wasn’t for me. I didn't tell anyone what was going on because I was afraid that admitting these fears would make me a failure. But then a month ago, the summer picked up.

As you may recall, Cousin Simple played in Nashville. The show was awesome and they got a lot of recognition (more on that later). Directly after Nashville, my family went on a vacation with my cousins. I was home for 4 days and I went to Florida to see my friend. As a result I was on a travel high, and I was feeling better then I had felt all summer. Unfortunately, that was going to come to an end. 

As soon as I got home all these fears came back stronger than they had been before. I was in tears every single day last week, because I had no idea what I was going to do. I talked to my family and one of my “sisters”, Aspen. I was also writing and praying a lot, but I was still freaking out.

Last Monday I went out to my “sisters” house because Aspen had been locked out, and Arlo (the youngest of my “sisters”) was not home. We walked into the kitchen, and on the counter was a note from their mom. It said “Out to lunch with Renee!” We had totally forgotten that her family was back from Japan for the week!

About an hour later, they came back to the house, and happy tears were shed by everyone. We told her how the older girls with doing in Colorado, and how they were coming back at the end of the week (more on that later), so she would be able to see them on Friday with the kids. Eventually the conversation switched to how I was doing. 

Aspen looked at me, curious to see what I would say. I decided I might as well say something, so I told them everything. When I was done talking, Renee said, “You know I think you would be a good teacher at the schools in my area of Japan.” I kind of laughed her off at first… I mean, think about it, it is a really funny concept: Me, a person who barely knows what he's doing in America, cut loose in Japan. But she started talking about it and I think it would be really cool.

So this next semester I'm going to be learning Japanese on my own, and bettering myself! I know that there is a lot of risk in doing this. I understand all the things that could go wrong, but if I don’t try, I know I will regret it for the rest of my life! However, in the event that it just doesn't work out, I do have a few other things ready just in case. I will keep you guys informed when I get more information.

Have A Greattastic Day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Japan Part 1: Piano

Japan Part 1: Piano

Music is a huge part of my life. My brother is in a band. I'm always singing, and of course I do a lot of work with Sam's Fans. My exposure to music started when I was in kindergarten.

My “sisters” had a piano in their house. When they got old enough,  they started taking lessons. Because our families were so close at the time, and because I wanted to do everything they were doing, I asked my mom if I could take lessons from the same person. My parents agreed, and Ryan and I started taking lessons. 

The teacher and I did not necessarily see eye to eye. I didn't really have long attention span. It definitely wasn't long enough to actually take time to practice. Every single week, I wouldn't practice enough, and she would become livid. She would roll up my music theory book, hit me on the head with it and yell, “Shame on you!” This woman did something amazing, she almost single-handedly killed music for me. 

Fortunately, I didn't have to wait for Cousin Simple or Sam's Fans for music to come back into my life. My “sisters” had gotten a new piano teacher. Her name was Renee. Renee is from Japan and she's one of the most talented pianist I've ever met. The best part was that she had baby girls, and my “sisters” would watch them for discounted lessons. When my “sisters” and I started hanging out again, they convinced me to take lessons from Renee. 

I would help my “sisters” watch the kids, mostly by being their constant entertainment. Over the years my “sisters” and I started to consider those two kids like part of our family. That's not even to mention Renee. Let me just explain how awesome of a person she is. 

One of the first things I loved about her is when it came to lessons with Renee she would ask me what songs I wanted to learn, as opposed to just going through some book. Secondly once I learned a song, she let me arrange a new version of the song. The icing on the cake though was her last Christmas recital.

When I was a kid…who am I kidding, I'm still a big fan of Doctor Seuss!!! My favorite character that he created is the Grinch. Around the same time we were trying to plan what songs I would play for the Christmas recital, we found out that Renee and her family would be moving back to Japan in 2 months. I wanted to do something big…you know, send her off with a bang. So I asked her if I can play “You're Mean One.” Of course she said yes, but then I took it a step further. I asked her if it would be okay, if I dressed in costume as the Grinch… She said yes! 

I was scheduled to perform last and I was giddy with excitement. About three people before I was supposed to perform, I went to the bathroom and changed into my costume… When my name was called, I walked in and I've never been more confident in my entire life. The audience loved it! The recital was amazing to me! Renee was an incredible piano teacher, and friend, and I would not be where I am today, both creatively or confidence-wise, if it wasn't for her.

To be Continued...