Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 8: An Empire of Friends

An Empire of Friends

It is Arden’s birthday on March 13th, so Marshall and I brought her favorite cake on the plane with us. After we surprised August and Arden, we started eating the cake.

“What are we doing tonight?” I asked.

“We were going to go to a bar with a few friends.”  Arden said.

After we finished the cake, we walked around the apartment complex and started to collect our group. The first person we met up with was Katie.

Sami works at a school as an art teacher. Katie works at the same school. When they discovered that they lived in the same apartment complex, they decided to start hanging out together. After the introductions and a bit of small talk between Arden and Katie, Katie asked how Sami and Arden met.

“Well, I went to the gym,” Sami explained, “and Arden was there. Neither of us really had friends yet, and we hit it off.”

“Then we met MJ”, Arden continued, “and our little friend group grew!”

“Now you’re here” Sami finished dramatically, “and together we shall build our own empire!”

We all laughed and then started walking to the bar. On the way, we met up with MJ, another resident of Arden’s apartment complex.

The bar had a small area for dancing. Not gonna lie, when we got there the dancing area was kind of dead. Just as a general rule though, I like it when places are more dead, because usually when I go out with the girls dancing and I feel like I have to play defense, against creepy guys… but I digress, either way, we brought the bar back to life.

The night was really fun and a lot of shenanigans took place, but that is not the reason I am writing this blog. I’m writing this blog because as I watched Arden and her new friends living it up, it reawakened my obsession with making new friends.

Yes, I’ve had this obsession for a long time now, but seeing all this happen gives me a more clear idea of what it looks like. I want an “empire” of friends and I’m going to keep my mind open for new experiences and friendships again. Wish me luck!

To be continued

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 7: Outdoing Natalie

Outdoing Natalie

If you have been following me for a while, you may recall that my sister, Arden surprised everyone for Christmas, and how she used me to do that. If you don't remember here is a refresher: I told my other sisters, August, Aspen, Arlo, and my friend Marshall, that I met a girl at work named Natalie and that we were going to go on a date. It was a clever lie, that ended in ridiculous shenanigans.

In an attempt to surprise me, since I was involved in to surprise the first time, on Valentines day Arden planed a random trip back to Columbus with Marshall. The surprise worked and we had an awesome weekend. Now during this time August moved to Utah for an internship. The job was not right for her, so she decided to look for work in Colorado with Arden. 

Two weeks after Arden Valentine's Day surprise, I was working at Kroger, when Marshall walked in the door. After about a minute of conversation, August and her boyfriend walked in the door! I was in complete and utter shock! I looked at Marshall and he had a look of pure smugness on his face. Of course, I knew why he was being smug…

“You know Marshall”  I said sarcastically so August didn’t catch on, “if you ever pull this off again I’m gonna Knight you!” 

A week later Marshall and I were on our own plane to Colorado, and true to form we didn’t tell the girls we were coming. We had told one of Arden’s friends from her apartment complex, Sami, that we were coming and she picked us up.

Right when you walk into Sami’s place, on your left is her bathroom. You walk though a small hallway and then you are her main room, which also doubles as her bedroom. Right next to her bed is a walk-in closet. The plan was, Marshall would hide in the bathroom and when the girls came in he would come out. They would go crazy and I would pop out of the closet and then they would just lose their minds

We got into position and Sami called Arden. After about 10 minutes of Sami nagging the girls to come over, she saw them walking over to her building from the window. 

“Ok” Sami said when they got in the door, “I have a surprise for you.” There was a long pause and the girls screamed with joy.

I waited for 10 seconds and I walked out of the closet. “Hey why does Marshall get all the love?” I asked.

“What are you guys doing here?” August 

“Out doing Natalie!” Marshall replied.

“Oh my gosh!” Arden yelled pulling us all together for a hug.

“We did it!” I said  to Marshall when the hug was over. He smiled because he knew what I was implying. He knelt and I said, “by the power invested in me, John Mitchell Ulibarri, I knight you, Marshall, a Greattastic adventurer!” 

• To be continued...

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 6: 4 Marshalls and a Fiddle

Four Marshalls and a Fiddle

When I first met Marshall it was through two of my “sisters”. August and Arden got a job at a local bakery. While there, they met Marshall and his roommate at the time, Ricky. The two boys became very close with August and Arden and they all went on adventures together that I tagged along on.

For a long time, Arden has been playing the violin. It came up very early in our friendship that Marshall wanted to learn how to play. He had an old one that wasn't in very good condition, so he went to the store and got a new one. Arden taught him for a while, but their schedules didn't line up often enough so Marshall eventually got a teacher.

For the last 4 months, Marshall has been taking violin lessons. Unfortunately, the lessons became a little too expensive. He still played, but he needed to find someone who could mentor him in the art of playing the violin.

About a month ago, I went to the Civil War ball with Marshall, Arden’s best friend Jane, and a group of her friends. While we sashayed away and my monocle went missing, there was another situation developing. The band that was playing the Civil War era music that we were all dancing to, was a group of older people and two of them were violinist.

When the dance was over, Marshall walked up to the two violinists and introduced himself. This was when he learned that both the violinist names were Marshall. The three Marshalls got to talking and the older Marshalls told mine they are part of a folk music group that gets together on the first Wednesday of the month, and every Sunday night. 

On the first Wednesday of this month, we went to the bar where they meet. Everyone sat on a stage in a little circle, with their instrument at the ready. Marshall found himself a little seat and when the group started playing he started playing by ear.

As I watched I saw a man who was also sitting and watching. I walked up to him and introduced myself. “Hello,” I said extending my hand, “my name is Mitchell.” 

“Hey,” the man said shaking my hand, “my name is Marshall.”

I told my Marshall what just happened and his response was, “It's a sign from above!” I believe that things happen for a reason. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and know that you're going to end up where you need to be.

Have a Greattastic day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 5: Coffeeshop Surprise

Coffeeshop Surprise

On Sunday last week, my “sister” Arden called me to catch me up on her life. We talked for almost two hours. During that time she asked me if I had any Valentine’s Day plans. I told her that I was planning to have breakfast with an old friend, then I was going to meet up with Marshall, and then I had to go to work at the school.

“Well,” she said, “would you be my Valentine?”

The reason that she asked me was that she knows I think of her as my sister, and she just wanted to freak me out. Jokingly I said yes, because why not? Little did I know what Valentine's Day would actually entail.

The day started out as planned, and I had breakfast with my friend, Anna. Anna and I started talking about things that have been going on. Anna is a big fan of the blog and the podcast. She also went to school with Arden. As a result, she knows my relationship with Arden.

“Hey, how is Arden doing?”

“She's doing well, she's been going on a lot of adventures…same old, same old.”

When she and I were done with breakfast, I came home and did a little bit of writing. I had to go to work at 2:30, so at 1:30 Marshall picked me up to go to Crimson Cup. We were having a conversation as we walked up the sidewalk to Crimson Cup. I stopped talking mid-sentence.

“Hi”, Arden said as she walked out the door to meet us, “do I know you from somewhere?”

I couldn't process what was happening. I thought I had seen a ghost. “What are you doing here?!” I exclaimed.

“Oh come on Mitchie, you know if you’re going to be someone’s Valentine you have to see them on Valentine's Day!”

That's how my weekend started, and the craziness has not died down since. And let me tell you it has been Greattastic!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 4: If You're Happy And You Know It Flap Your Hands

If You're Happy And You Know It Flap Your Hands

When I was growing up I loved a lot of things. Super Mario and other Nintendo video games, most things Disney/Pixar, going to Chuck-E-Cheese, etc... All of these things and more resulted in a very specific reaction from me. I would make a squealing noise and viciously slap my hands together up and down. I had the following conversation with both of my parents, and every adult in my mom's immediate family, at least a thousand times:

Me: *starts flapping*

Adult: Mitchell doesn't that hurt!?!

Me: No.

Adult: Well, it sounds like it does! Don't do that!

Now my family just didn't understand what was going on, how could they? To them it looked like every time I got excited, I would hit myself. This would be disturbing to any parent or family member, but it wasn't like that at all.

Sometimes there are so many emotions going on and they are all so intense, that words can't possibly describe them accurately. As a result, these emotions build up in my chest. The longer I go without releasing those emotions, the bigger the ball in my chest gets. If I wait long enough it feels like my chest is going to explode, like Sir John Hurt’s in the movie Alien. The flapping and the squealing noise releases that energy, in an act that in the Autism community is called stimming.

Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behavior and it's usually frowned upon in our society. It comes in many different forms including, but not be limited, to rocking back and forth, pacing, and most other stereotypical images that pop into people’s heads when they hear the word autism.

What people don't realize is everybody stims, people on the spectrum just have a flair for the dramatic! When was the last time you were tapping your pencil or clicking your pen? What about biting your nails? Tapping your foot? All of those are stims that “normal” people do on a regular basis. As an adult, I have from time to time exhibited stims in public, and I have definitely seen a few dirty looks.  So why is it that autistic stimming is looked down upon over “normal” stimming?

The only explanation I can come up with is that it's disruptive. Pencil and foot-tapping, as well as pen clicking, is also distracting! Admittedly it's less distracting, but my point still stands- it's distracting on some level! I wish new the answer to that question as to why people look down on this, but I don't have one. I can suggest that the next time you see an autistic person stimming in public, understand what is happening. Glaring at them can make them feel uncomfortable. Have compassion, just know that they are flapping or whatever other stims they're doing, because they are feeling an overwhelming amount of emotion!

Have a Greattastic day 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 3: The Prodigal Monocle

The Prodigal Monocle

Every year, near the end of January, there is a civil war ball held at the Ohio Statehouse. People dress up in Civil War-era dresses and suits and dance the way they did back then. I wore a top hat, an old-timey suit coat, a thin chain necklace with a monocle attached to it, and I used a black curtain rod that resembled an aristocratic cane.

Marshall and I walked into the ballroom, three minutes before the first dance was going to start. We managed to find our friend, Jane who we had planned on meeting there. The second she still saw me all dressed up, she laughed and told me I looked awesome! Then she asked if I wanted to dance with her.

The first dance of the night was called the Virginia Reel. There were many intricate parts to this dance, but at one point the “top couple” (the couple at the front of the room) was supposed to sashay between the rest of the group, who is arranged in two lines. When it was Jane and my turn to sashay tragedy struck!

Every time we moved my monocle would hit my chest. It hit once, twice, and on the third time, I thought it was going to hit Jane right in the face. Luckily for her, it did not. Instead, the chain around my neck broke, and my poor monocle flew right over her head, in slow-motion. We looked everywhere for it, but it seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth.

Jane introduced us to all her friends and we all danced together until refreshments were served. While we were enjoying our snacks, one of Jane's friends, Carrie, asked Marshall how we know Jane.

“She's my ‘sister’s’ best friend.” I explained.

“What's your ‘sister's’ name?”

“Arden Anderson.”

“Ah, the famous Arden! I've never met her, but I've heard a lot about her! Every time she's with Jane they have really bad luck!”

“It's not just with Jane!” I replied with a chuckle, “When I went to visit her, she cut her foot on a fence and had to get stitches!”

The night went on and Marshall, Jane, her friends and I all danced to our heart's content, and we just had a blast! At the end of the night the announcer, who had been telling us what dance was going to happen next, called everyone together to announce the best-dressed award. “Before we get started,” she said, “did anyone lose a monocle?”

Upon the announcement that the monocle had been found, our entire group cheered! I’m telling this story for a few reasons. One, I think it's funny, and its a neat little adventure. But most all, I bring it up because that monocle represents something else that has returned to me very recently- My adventurous spirit and confidence.

For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that three of my four “sisters” don't live around me anymore. The last one to leave, August, is gone for three months and she's probably going to move soon after she returns. The five months leading up to the day she left was agonizing, the day she left was devastating.

I was stressing out about her leaving, and “the end of the era” so much that I was just not myself. I mean yeah, I was still living life- being productive, and being kind of adventurous, but something just felt off. But now that the stress that has been building for 5 months is over, I feel excited for what's coming next! Sometimes you can lose a part of yourself, but much like my monocle, that part will always come back!

Have a Greattastic Day
J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 2 The Coronapocalypse: Blog 2: Noah

Noah

My friends have always been the best part of me. Samantha McCarthy (S.M.) and Elizabeth Buckley taught me how to love and how to remain positive no matter what happens in life. My former teachers (now co-workers) at Haugland Learning Center, along with my “sisters”, taught me to embrace my autism, and become the confident person I am today. I need friends because they make me better than I would be without them… Little did I know that I was about to make a great one.

A few months ago I was bagging at Kroger. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and it was one of my bosses. “Mitchell,” he said pointing, “Could you help that gentleman around the store.” I look where he was pointing and saw that standing at the customer service desk was a blind man. I walked up to him, introduced myself, helped him get a cart, and started shopping with him.

The blind man was named Noah, and over the course of the shopping trip, I got to know him quite well. He's 27 years old, he’s a musician (a very talented one, I would learn later), and he has dreams of playing on the paralympic soccer team in 2028!

At the end of the shopping trip, Noah asked me if he could have my social media information. He DM’d me about a week later, and we had coffee. We talked about our lives and our respective disabilities and bonded over similar struggles that we have both had. After having coffee a few more times, I texted him on Christmas Day and I asked him if he wanted to hang out again in January.

On Martin Luther King Day, because we both had the day off, I went to Noah’s apartment to listen to music and just hang out. When I got to the apartment building he let me in and lead me to his apartment. It was incredible to watch. He was able to do it with such ease. It was as if he was not blind!

When we got into his apartment we sat down and started to catch up. After a little bit of small talk, I asked him a question. “Hey Noah, I have a proposal for you.”

“Ok, what is it?”

“So you know how I told you my ‘sisters’ have all moved?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we made this friend Marshall, a couple years back and brought him into our friend group. So now that the girls are gone, it's just him and me… We were kind of wondering if you wanted to join our little friend group?”

“Of course” He exclaimed, “I would be happy too!”

As soon as he said that I smiled. I was really happy because I am excited for the new adventures that Marshall Noah and I will go on, and all the things I will learn from the two of them along the way.

Have a Greattastic Day!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri