Season 5 Who Am I? Blog 3: Proposal On Gleason Road

 Proposal On Gleason Road

Jessica, Shane‘s girlfriend, was dropped off at our Gleason Road apartment at 6:30 by her mother. They were celebrating their three-year anniversary. Jessica followed a path of pink rose petals to the front door. When she opened the door she saw Shane standing in the living room. The kitchen table that I brought when I moved in was sitting in the middle of the room and a candlelight dinner was ready. The ground was covered in those same pink rose petals and there was a curtain dividing the living room and the kitchen.

“Why is there a curtain?” She asked after they had said their hellos.

“You don’t need to worry about that.” Shane lied.

30 minutes before Jessica arrived, her dad, her siblings, their respective spouses, Shane‘s parents and their neighbor Bill entered our apartment. Bill is a successful local musician. I walked them through what was going to happen. When Jessica arrived at 6:30 everyone would hide in my backyard while Shane and Jessica had dinner. When Shane was ready he would send me a text and I would lead everyone into the kitchen through the back door. While we were coming in Shane would sing “Just The Way You Are” by Bruno Mars. When he had finished that song, from behind the curtain I would play keyboard, Bill would play guitar and we would lead everyone in Elvis's “Can't Help Falling in Love”, and at the second chorus Jessica's brother would hit a button, and the curtain would fall revealing all of us. After “Can't Help Falling in Love”, everyone except Bill and I would enter the living room and Shane would sing, “All of Me” by John Legend. During that song, he would propose and after that together we would all sing “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong.

Best laid plans, but that's not exactly how it happened… Cuz it's me… Why would this be anything short of ridiculous and complicated? As I had been explaining the plan to the family, I didn’t actually lower the curtain because it would have been a hassle to hang it back up again so I let it hang by bungee cords when I pushed the button for the Kabuki drop (look it up, it’s pretty cool). I hit the button to demonstrate the dramatic drop and then incorrectly clipped the current back in. There was also a weight at the bottom of the curtain and so that it didn't accidentally rip the cord out of my keyboard when I lowered it, I unplugged my keyboard. At the end of my demonstration, Jessica showed up, and we all quickly and quietly left the apartment through the back door.

Shane texted me at 6:55 and I led everyone to the back door. Now I had a lawn chair propping the screen door open so that we could avoid as much noise as possible. I got to the screen door, held it open, and tried to move the lawn chair so people could get in; but I accidentally dropped it causing a loud crash. Everyone went in single file and by the time I got in “Just The Way You Are” was almost over. It was at this point that I realized that I had not plugged my keyboard back in. I stealthily snuck around the curtain, and miraculously managed to get it plugged in without Jessica noticing me.

When we were ready, Bill and I started playing and singing, and when the time came, Jessica's brother hit the button to drop the curtain. Unfortunately, because I had not clipped it incorrectly it didn't drop, but Jessica's dad pulled it down only a few seconds later. As Shane was singing “All of Me” I started to notice his voice was cracking. It confused me at first because he wasn't having this problem when we practiced. But then I realized, he was crying. By the time the ring was out and he was down on one knee, Shane was full-on ugly crying.

I bring this up not to call him out, but I think it's a testament to how much Shane loves Jessica. Shane and I had been planning this since the night I moved in a month ago and after all that practicing, when it came down to the moment that he proposed, he was so full of emotion that he lost control. And I think that's beautiful!

Congratulations Shane and Jessica!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 5 Who Am I? Blog 2: Essential Question: Who Am I?

 Essential Question: Who Am I?

For high school, I went to The Graham School (TGS). All four years, students would go on internships. The first three years the internships were only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but seniors would go every day for the second half of the school year. This was called Walkabout. In preparation, the first half of the year, seniors would research what kind of site they wanted to do, update resumes, interview prep, etc.

After a site “hired” the student, they had to write a “Walkabout proposal” and turn it into their parents/guardians, homeroom teacher, and site mentor(s). The proposal provided information about TGS, what led the student to the specific site, and the student’s essential question. An essential question was basically just a question that related to both the student and the site and the goal was to answer the question by the end of Walkabout. For example, mine was: Can I be a teacher for the rest of my life?

In 2019 my “sister” Arden moved to Colorado and my “sisters” August and Aspen were on their way out. After Arden moved, the inevitability of the other two leaving caused me a lot of stress. To cope, I made a three-part plan for me moving forward. Part 1: Survive the girls leaving and the emotional fallout. Part 2: In 2020, make new friends and spend time with them. Part 3: In 2021, ask one of the previously mentioned new friends to be my roommate.

Obviously, Covid interfered with my plans a bit, but what is important for the sake of this installment is not how the world stopped, but what happened when it slowly started back up. It started on April 24th of last year when I officially became a published author. Then on May 20th, I started dating a girl. At the end of June, I was a groomsman in my “brother” Greg's two weddings (Nigerian and Western). The next weekend my “sisters”, myself and my best friend Marshall, stayed with Arden in Colorado for the 4th of July. Upon returning from Colorado, I started my job at New Story as a teacher support.

On August 5th, I broke up with the girl that I had been dating and she went crazy. She started harassing me through text, email, and social media, and she even showed up at Kroger where I worked a couple of times. This whole thing went on for about a month until I finally changed my number, and got a restraining order. After that I quit Kroger after four years and almost immediately after quitting, I moved in with my former coworker Shane. In summary, I spent a year doing nothing followed by a year of being incredibly busy and I have been experiencing a lot of whiplash as a result.

Now Shane also went to TGS and when we first met we bonded over that fact. After a particularly intense session of reminiscing when I first moved in, I went to my Google drive and I started looking through my walkabout stuff. I found my proposal and I was inspired. I have always based each season of Rules for a Greattastic Life on the goal I am trying to reach that season. I think I'm going to start framing them as essential questions from this point on. My essential question for this season is “Who am I?” My reasoning is I think I need to get to know myself a little better after the events of the last two years before I try to reach any more major goals.

One last note, the season finale of season 2 was called “Don't Wait.” Covid had just hit and I wrote that installment not only to try to give people hope but to tell the future me to learn from the lockdown we were all currently in and never wait to do anything. In that spirit, even though the main point of this season is for me to take a little break and do some self-discovery, I'm still going to be trying to get started on some other long-term goals.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 5 Who Am I? Blog 1: Out Of Body Experience

Out Of Body Experience

I woke up at 4:30 a.m. in a room I did not recognize. My heart started racing, and I started to panic. The only logical explanation was that I had been kidnapped! I sat up in bed ready to fight whatever dangers laid beyond the door… My anxiety drifted away as my own voice echoed in my head, Goodbye Meadow Park it's been fun!

“Oh right!” I said laying back down, “I live here now!”

I woke up again at about 10:00 and I got ready to take a shower so that I could go to noon Mass. Now the shower at my apartment has three knobs, while the shower at my parents' house only has one. I wish that I could say that I am competent enough to take a shower without my roommate, Shane, thinking that I'm being murdered, but unfortunately, that would be a lie.

The next day was Presidents Day, and since I didn't have to go to work at the school, I went to Kroger to buy essentials. This was strange because it was the first time that I had been to Kroger since I quit, as well as the fact that I was now completely buying my own stuff.

Honestly, I'm kind of struggling to write the rest of this installment… And I think that's the point. Not a lot of “blog/podcast worthy” stuff has happened yet. I've mostly been doing mundane things… but it's weird cuz they don't feel mundane.

I think they don't feel that way because everything is a first. The first time I did the dishes at my house, or paid the rent, or had someone over… It was all normal, but it didn't quite feel real. It's only now after two weeks of living here on Gleason Road, that this out-of-body experience is ending. With it over, I feel that my life on my own has truly begun!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe! 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Before I end this installment I want to talk about the situation in Ukraine. It’s hard for me to put into words what I’m feeling. It's such a horrible thing and obviously, I've never experienced anything like that so it feels inappropriate to say anything hopeful or reassuring like I usually would…I guess all I have to say is my heart goes out to the Ukrainian people. I ask that you join me in taking a moment of silence for the people suffering, and for all the lives that have been lost…. 

Season 4 Blog 34: Step 1 Part 4: Goodbye Meadow Park (Season Finale)

Step 1 Part 4: Goodbye Meadow Park (Season Finale)

Over my last few months at Kroger Shane and I got to know each other even better. I found out that not only did we go to the same high school, but we went to the same preschool and he grew up two streets away from Meadow Park Drive, where I grew up. On top of that, Shane lives a quarter mile away from my friend Noah!

I knew that Shane needed a roommate, but at first, I was originally planning to move in with our former coworker Izzy (Step 1 Part 1) and when that fell through I planned to try to buy a house with Ryan and our Cousin Alex (Thanksgiving Special: Step 1 Part 2). While all that was going on Woody and Shane decided to move in together.

Last summer I had a girlfriend named Ishana. I haven't gone into details of how we broke up, other than saying that “things got pretty nasty.” After we broke up she started stalking me and I had to take drastic measures…the first of which was to change my number.

The Thursday before Christmas break while I was working at New Story my phone stopped responding when I would touch the screen. That Saturday Dad and I went to an Apple Store located at the mall. Dad and I walked around the mall while they tried to fix my phone. When we returned, an employee told me that they were going to give me a replacement phone and asked if I had an iCloud backup. Luckily I did.

The employee had me sign into my Apple ID on a laptop. To access my Apple ID, Apple sent a verification code to the phone number that I had registered on the ID. The problem was that I didn't know that I needed to update my phone number on my apple ID manually after I changed it. Basically what happened was the verification code got sent to my old number and Apple had to verify that it was me through another method. Unfortunately, this method apparently takes 27 days! This would have been partially okay if I would have been able to use the replacement phone during that time But, the employee had failed to activate my new phone, so for a month my phone was just an expensive paperweight. I relied solely on Facebook for communicating with people.

Now, during this month we decided that it probably wasn't a good idea for me Ryan, and Alex to buy a house. While that was probably the best decision, I wasn't too happy about it because I was once again back to square one. As soon as we made the decision I happened to check my voicemail, and by sheer grace, I had a new message from Shane.

It turned out that things with Woody becoming his roommate had not panned out and he still needed a roommate. A few weeks later my parents and I went to his house, met his parents, and after some discussion, I decided to move in. At the end of The Kid Kronicles # 2 I said, “and, next week I will be moving on to the next part of my life…” The bureaucracy of getting approved delayed my plans by a week, but yesterday (2/19/2022) was the big day!

After my parents and I finished setting my room up we drove back to my parent's house so I could pick up my car. After we said goodbye, I got in my car turned the key, and started driving. “Goodbye Meadow Park,” I said, “It's been fun!”

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri 

Season 4 Blog 33: Step 1 Part 3: Wait You Went To Graham

 Step 1 Part 3: Wait, You Went To Graham

I know that I just made a very big deal about quitting Kroger so it feels a little weird to write this installment, but it is oh so necessary. While I haven't mentioned this there are actually two Kroger grocery stores in Clintonville where I live. One of them is just a Kroger and the other is a Kroger Marketplace. Kroger Marketplaces are the Kroger Corporation’s equivalent of the Target Corporation’s Super Target (it's just a bigger store). I worked at the Kroger Marketplace.

One night in early September of 2021, I went to work my Kroger shift. Almost as soon as I clocked in, I was called to the service desk. One of my bosses told me to help a new co-worker who has Down Syndrome with “go-backs,” which is when you take items that were either forgotten or were not wanted and put them back on the shelves. I was never good at go-backs, but I was excited to make a new friend.

The co-worker's name was Shane and we immediately started bonding over our respective disabilities. When I felt like I had gotten to know him a little bit, I asked how long he had been working at the store. He told me that a few months before he had started working at the other Kroger in Clintonville, but then they cut his hours, so he came to the Kroger Marketplace at the end of August.

A couple of weeks passed and while I was working another Kroger shift, the same boss told Shane and I to go out on carts. When we had collected a few carts, we started talking before pushing them in. Mom and Dad coincidentally came to the store and when he saw us, Dad jokingly told us to get to work. As soon as I told Shane that they were my parents, he struck up a conversation with Dad as we all entered the store. Mom and Dad went to start shopping and Shane and I went back outside.

“So as I was saying…” I asked, “do you like this Kroger better than your old one?”

“It's about the same, but I have a few friends here,” Shane replied.

“Oh, who do you know?” I asked.

“Well, I went to high school with Connor Woodland.” He answered.

“Wait…You went to Graham with ‘Woody’?” I exclaimed.

Now Woody had worked at Kroger for two years before I even got the job. As I was getting to know him he told me that he got his nickname in high school, for his last name and the Toy Story character. I asked him what school he went to, and Woody said The Graham School. This is important because I also went to Graham. I came in as a freshman the school year after Woody and Shane graduated. Shane and I started talking about our respective times at Graham, and that was the beginning of our friendship.

To Be Continued…

Season 4 Step 1 Blog 32: The Kid Kronicles #2- Greattastic Adventures Arlo Vs. R4AGL Arlo

 The Kid Kronicles #2- Greattastic Adventures Arlo Vs. R4AGL Arlo

For any of this to make sense I need to state the obvious. Anything I write about my life is more like an artistic representation of what happened and not necessarily what happened beat for beat. Most of this comes down to the characters because to fit them into the short Rules for a Greattastic Life (R4AGL) installments, some characteristics need to be left on the cutting room floor. In other words the real-life versions of characters in my work are obviously superior to their R4AGL counterparts.

I prefer the characterizations of most of my “sisters” in “The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child” to R4AGL since that is a book so I had more space and less had to be left on the cutting room floor. However, for my youngest “sister” Arlo (Lo-lo/Kid) I prefer her R4AGL characterization over The Greattastic Adventures. Let me explain: In real life, while there was a time when all four girls hated me, I only ever hated the older three. I didn't necessarily like Lo-lo, as she was called then but because she was so young, it was more of guilt by association as opposed to real hatred.

At the beginning of “The Greattastic Adventures: Miracle Child,” Lo-lo is only six years old and by the end, she's seven. Because of her age in real life, she wasn't a major part of the events of that story. The only way to translate this into the book was to have Lo-lo in it, but have no real contribution to the story. What I'm saying is the only reason she is in Miracle Child is continuity! But because I never completely disliked her and I know how close we are in the present, “book Lo-lo” feels like a disservice to the real-life Arlo.

Throughout the rest of our childhood, while Arlo would become more relevant in the group, she wouldn't start developing her own agency (narratively speaking at least) until she was 13 years old when she asked to stop being called Lo-lo (and I gave her the nickname Kid). This agency wouldn’t be fully on display until Kid was about to turn 16 back in Season 2 of R4AGL. This was because August, Arden, and Aspen had all moved out.

When I discovered this to make up for how Kid’s Greattastic Adventures incarnation was turning out, I decided to make a mini-series within R4AGL called “The Kid Kronicles” to document our friendship isolated from the other girls. Covid obviously forced my plans for The Kid Kronicles back since August and Aspen moved back to Columbus for a while as result. I actually did write the first installment of The Kid Kronicles in December of 2020, because at the time August had moved and Aspen was supposed to go into the army in January, but that fell through, which is why this sequel is coming a year later.

There is one more reason I decided to do The Kid Kronicles. There are only two differences between “young Mitchell’s” characterization and Lo-lo's. 1. There is virtually no age gap between me and the older three girls, making the gap between them and Lo-lo seem bigger by comparison. 2. Miracle Child is told from my perspective, not Lo-lo’s. These two things together gave the illusion that I had agency in the story. I did fun things with the older three, but most of the stuff was their idea; I was just along for the ride. What I'm saying is even though I was more central to the story, Kid and I developed our narrative agency at approximately the same time.

While we are in different places in our lives we have had the same story ark throughout R4AGL. Season 1: We had to cope with the inevitability of the girls leaving. Season 2: We started to find ourselves after they moved. Season 3: Covid forced August and Aspen back to Columbus, placing Kid and me back to where we were in season 1. Season 4: With all of the girls gone again Kid and I picked up right where we left off and continued to move forward. Kid is a senior in high school, but she's taking college credit plus classes at Columbus State. And, next week I will be moving on to the next part of my life…

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 4 Step 1 Blog 31: 8198388

 8198388

On January 25th, 2022, I clocked into Kroger for a final time. I bagged, did carts, the whole time anticipation was building for 9:53. Finally, 9:53 came and I walked to clock out. As I stood at the time clock, I thought back on my time at Kroger:

While I thought back on everything, it would take too long for me to tell you it all… So I'm only going to tell you three stories. The first one takes place about two weeks after I got the job. I was bagging and a customer asked me if I knew where the gift cards were. I did, and I got super excited because this was the first customer I could actually help. As I was leading him to the gift cards, a woman was coming towards us with a cart. I keep my keys on a carabiner, on the first belt-loop of my pants on my right side. I stepped to the left to avoid the cart, but my right hip rubbed against it and I heard my carabiner clip onto the cart. The woman didn't realize what had happened and continued pushing the cart dragging me along with it.

The second story takes place in December 2018, nearly a year after I got the job. One of my bosses told me to do “go-backs” which is when you take items that were either forgotten or were not wanted and put them back on the shelves. Now, I was never good at this. In fact, when I first started working at the store I called Mom a few times to ask her where some items were. In any case, I noticed that the basket for the baking needs aisle was full so I put it in a cart and took it back. When I got to the baking aisle before I had even looked in the basket, I saw a woman with her son. The woman said, “I have a holiday party and I need gingerbread house kits, but there are none on the shelf. Do you know where any are?” I told her that if it wasn't on the shelf we didn't have any as it was the Christmas season and a lot of people were buying gingerbread kits. She in response asked for a manager.

We were really busy that night and when I told my front-end bosses, they didn't really want to deal with her so they called the store manager and he and I return to the baking aisle. The store manager and I search for 20 minutes all around the store trying to find any gingerbread house kits. Eventually, the woman took her son and left the store in a huff. The store manager left and I walked to my cart. When I looked in the basket I realized that every single item in it was a gingerbread house kit!

The last story takes place in June of 2019. I walked out into the parking lot to start my cart shift. As I walked towards a cart corral I noticed a woman in her late 80s or early 90s, riding in an electric cart. When she saw me, she asked me if I could help her unload her groceries into her car. I said yes and after we had finished, I took the electric cart back into the store.

When I walked back out into the parking lot, I looked over and saw that the woman was clutching her steering wheel and shaking. I ran back to the car ready to call 911. “Ma'am, ma'am, are you okay?” I asked frantically.

“Mitchell,” She said, “I need you to go back into the store and get the electric cart.”

“Sure… but why?” I asked confused.

“This is the wrong car!” She exclaimed.

I grabbed the electric cart and we quickly unpacked the car. The entire time the lady and I were laughing hysterically because of how hard it would be to explain why we were in the car If the owner came out.

After this, I thought back on when about meeting Noah for the first time. I thought about the time my former coworker Lily and I broke the glass front door. I thought about when August came home for a surprise visit in the middle of a Kroger shift and about the “Rubber Ducky Incident.” I thought about all the people I have met and all the memories I've made and I smiled because if given the chance I wouldn't change a thing. With my reflection done, I entered my Kroger ID number one last time: 8198388.

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri