Season 3 The Empire of Friends Blog 7: Just Her Luck!

Just Her Luck!

I have been working at a Kroger grocery store for two and a half years now. A month into my employment, I made a friend named Lily. Lily started as a bagger like me, but she was soon promoted to cashier.

Our friendship works because we're both sarcastic people, but in general, I'm more of a dreamer, while she is more of a realist. In other words, we balance each other out. We've been on many adventures while working, including one time when we accidentally broke the sliding glass doors at the front of the store. She has saved my job countless times because whenever I'm about to do something wrong, she gives me a look, and I know to rethink my decision. However, I have only saved her job once.

When COVID-19 hit Ohio, I told my boss that I couldn't come to work for a while because I have asthma, and my brother Ryan was staying at my house for the quarantine. For those of you who aren't aware of this, Ryan has a lung that is very prone to collapsing. When the lockdown ended, I returned to work.

I was working the Thursday night shift as I always do. Lily was off that night, but she and one of her friends came into the store. I was taking out the trash by the front door when they came in. When I saw them, we talked for a minute or so. I finished taking out the trash, helped to bag, and went outside to get carts for 30 minutes. As I walked into the parking lot, I saw Lily and her friend get into Lily's car.

When I went back inside, I asked if I could go on my 15-minute break. My boss said yes,  and after clocking out, I went to the break room. Sitting at one of the tables was one of my other coworkers, Stan.

"Hey," He asked me, "You talk to Lily outside of work, right?"

"Yeah? Why?"

Stan then told me that he had been working at the self-checkout when Lily and her friend came up. Lily was buying a few snacks, and her friend had a lighter. Stan had turned around to help another customer, and when he looked back, Lily, her friend, and the lighter were gone!

I immediately called Lily, who thankfully answered right away. I told her that her friend stole the lighter, and Lily explained that her friend thought the lighter was cool, and she was going to buy it. But they realized that they had to be over 18 to get it, so the friend put it down and Lily bought her snacks and left.

"Well, where did she put it down?" I asked frantically, "If we don't find this, they're going to fire you!"

"She said it's in apparel!" Lily replied.

"Why would she put it…" I took a deep breath, "Doesn't matter. I'll find it!" After searching all over the apparel, however, I still couldn't find it. I asked her where they were, and she said they were on the way.

"Okay, where is it?" I asked the friend when they got back to the store.

"I'll show you!" She took us to a table that I had overlooked, and there was the lighter! Lily asked me If I wanted her to take it up to the service desk with me, and I said I would handle it because I didn't want it to look like they had stolen it and then come back to the store.

After I returned the lighter, I called Lily back and told her everything was okay. She thanked me, and I continued with my night.

Miscommunication is something that everybody has experienced at one point or another in their life. It is stressful for everyone involved. Having someone by your side to get you through it can reduce the stress of the situation and potentially save you!

Have a Greattastic day, and be safe!!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri 

Season 3 The Empire of Friends Blog 6: That Ol’ Friendship Laughter

That Ol’ Friendship Laughter

I initially introduced my friend Noah at the very beginning of season two. For those of you who don't know, here's a little refresher of how I met him:

I am a bagger at the local Kroger grocery store. One day, in October of last year, I was working and my boss asked me if I could help the blind man who was standing at the service desk. The blind man was Noah. Over the course of the shopping trip, I got to know him quite well. He's 27 years old, he’s a musician (and a very talented one at that), and he has dreams of playing on the paralympic soccer team in 2028!

At the end of the shopping trip, Noah asked me if he could have my social media information. He DM’d me about a week later, and we had coffee. We talked about our lives and our respective disabilities and bonded over similar struggles that we have both had. After having coffee a few more times, I texted him on Christmas Day and I asked him if he wanted to hang out again in January.

I went to his apartment on Martin Luther King Day 2020, and I asked him if he wanted to meet my friend Marshall. He said yes, but our adventures would have to wait because he was having surgery on his eyes, in February and March.

When COVID-19 hit, all of our plans changed (understandably). Marshall moved to Colorado for a summer job, and Noah and I couldn't see each other. As the world slowly starts to open up, Noah and I have been hanging out again.

 I'm working on a top-secret project and next month I'm announcing it. This is what Noah and I have been working on when we hang out.

I wrote a song to start off a “3 Day Announcement Bonanza”! My brother Ryan is going to help us record it, and my brother Luke is going to help us record a music video. I've been riding my bike to Noah's house every Saturday after I get off work to practice.

We've had a lot of fun working on this together. Some would say a little too much fun. Every single practice almost always ends with us laughing hysterically. For example, a couple practices ago I took a drink of Gatorade. Coincidentally, as soon as my mouth was full, Noah cracked a joke. The Gatorade spewed out of my mouth and nose, and all over my clothes. I don't know why it was so funny, but when I told him what happened we both just lost our minds. But isn't that what friendships are about? Laughing about stuff that isn't really hilarious, but the comedy is amplified because of the people you are with? I can't wait to have many more laughs with Noah!

Have a Greattastic day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 3 The Empire of Friends: Blog 5: Kobolt's Red White & Boom Party!

Kobolt’s Red White & Boom Party!

My parents own and run an art studio called Kobolt Design Studios. They design and fabricate, murals, sculptures, artwork…just about anything, honestly. In fact, Dad helped me design the logo that I use for Rules For A Greattastic Life!

In 2006, Mom and Dad bought a new building for the studio near downtown. At the time it was in a very sketchy area, but the building itself was exactly what they were looking for. The building is about a mile from a place called COSI (Center of Science Industry). Every year on July 3rd, at 10 p.m, fireworks are launched from a spot near COSI, in an event that is called Red, White, and Boom! That year knowing that Red, White & Boom was happening, Dad had an idea!

Dad took a 9-year-old me, my 7-year-old brother Ryan, and our neighbor and family friend Steven and his girls, to the studio at about 9:45. He pulled out a tall metal ladder and leaned it against the side of the building. We all climbed up the ladder with Steven and his girls first, Ryan second, me third, and Dad last.

My legs were shaking the whole time I was climbing up because...it was terrifying! We got to the roof just in time. I'd seen fireworks before, but I'd never seen fireworks from that high before! It was so cool, especially for a 9-year-old!

From that point on we went studio each year, slowly growing the number of people that came as we went. By the third year Mom was coming, we had invited another family, and we had upgraded from a ladder to a scissor lift. At one point so many people were coming that the next year we had to downsize the guest list because Mom was getting worried that there were too many people on the roof. I usually run the scissor lift, and it's really fun for me because sometimes, I stopped the scissor lift midway down, yell, “Oh crap!”, and scare everyone half to death!

Obviously, because of COVID-19, Red White & Boom is not happening this year, which really, really stinks! The whole situation in general stinks… but now it's messing with a family tradition, and it just throwing me off. All I can do is hope and pray that next year this is all gone, and we can once again go to the Kobolt Red White & Boom Party!

Have a Greattastic Independence Day and be Safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 3 The Empire of Friends: Blog 4: Mile 1

Mile 1

Well, it's been a couple weeks, there are a few reasons for the lack of content. 1). As I’ve mentioned a few times I'm working on a top-secret writing project, and I've been spending a lot of time on that. 2). Last weekend was Father's Day, and even though I could have really had this installment in its blog form at that point, I record the podcasts on Sundays, and because it was Father's Day I would not have had time to do that. 3). The obvious one, COVID-19… not a lot is happening in my life right now so there's not a lot to write about. 4). But the big reason I did not write this installment earlier is that I was arguing with myself about if I should even post it. In the end, I decided to include this because it is relevant to the whole making friends story that I'm trying to complete this season. What's the point of having a personal blog/podcast If I’m not open about all of my feelings?

A little over a year ago, while I was studying for finals, I woke up with incredible back pain- Like I legitimately thought it was dying. Mom told me to take a hot shower and that stopped the pain until I turned the water off to get out of the shower, then it came back 10 times worse, to the point where I couldn't even stand up. As Mom was helping me out of the shower she realized that I probably needed to go to the doctor. I was diagnosed with scoliosis and two of my vertebrae are fused together and that what was probably causing the pain. Side note- the scoliosis is nothing to worry about, my spine is only curved at 5 degrees and because I'm almost 23 and I'm done growing It shouldn't get worse…it's just uncomfortable sometimes.

On its own, this was a lot to deal with. Something else was going on in my life at that point. My “sisters” were moving. All the changes in my life with my “sisters” as well as my new physical ailments, started to drain my confidence away. My confidence returned once all three girls had officially moved away because Marshall and I started having our own adventures.  This was the beginning of a newfound excitement in my life! Spending time with someone else who valued my companionship, this was a new chapter!  Except!  As it does!  COVID-19 messed things up once again! Marshall moved away (temporarily…hopefully) for a job. With the full-on lockdown in place, I had no one to hang out with.

 Right before Ohio closed I started going to a therapist. She was deemed an essential worker, and I continued to see her throughout the lockdown. As my confidence tapered away, she helped me realize something.  I have never been good at making friends as a result of my autism, I put a high value on growing the friendships I do have. The problem is by focusing so much energy on building those friendships I lack a lot of self-worth outside of those relationships.

My therapist suggested I start working out and doing yoga, so I recently asked my “sisters” who are temporarily home for the summer, if they wanted to start running with me. They have been trying to get me to work out with them for years so of course, they agreed. 

Me after the first run!

On that first run I ran a mile, August ran two, and Aspen followed in her car…  which was admittedly more intimidating than I anticipated.  Afterwards August and I did yoga. My goal by the end of the summer is to be able to do a 5-mile run. Hopefully, in reaching that goal, I will be able to give myself a little needed confidence boost so I'm not relying on my friends solely for confidence. I’ll grow my confidence one mile at a time!

Have a Greattastic Day! 

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 3 The Empire of Friends: Blog 3: Guitar By Firelight

Guitar By Firelight

“Are you sure this was their last location?” I asked Kid from the passenger seat.

“Yes, I'm sure!” she exclaimed, parking the car. We got out of the car and looked around the park for them. At the far end of the park were a few trees that overlooked the Olentangy River. Hanging in the tree was a hammock, and August and her boyfriend, Ben, were beginning to take it down. Kid and I calmly walked past them and August noticed us.

“What are you guys doing here?” she asked.

“We were bored.” Kid replied.

We all sat down by the river and talked for about 20 minutes. When the 20 minutes were over, Kid and I decided to go home and let August and Ben continue on their adventures. Before we left I asked them if they wanted to have a fire that night and everyone agreed.

That night I grabbed my guitar and went over to the Andersons house. When Kid saw that I brought my guitar, she told me to close my eyes. I did as I was told and about 5 minutes later she made a strum on her new electric guitar!

“When did you get that?” I asked.

“Well,” their dad, Rich said, “a guy I know called me up, said his son wasn't using it anymore and asked if I wanted it.” After he told me this he laughed because he knew it fits into my conspiracy theory that he works for the CIA. Rich went and got his guitar, then the three of us started playing together.

Seeing this, Aspen texted August and Ben, and Ben brought his guitar. When August and Ben got there we went to the backyard and started collecting kindling and logs for the fire. We started the fire, made s' mores, told stories, played guitar, and hung out for the first time in what felt like years!

Life has been hard for so many people, including myself, during these last few months as a result of this pandemic. So many mental breakdowns due to the stress of being out of work and not being able to see people. But as I sat around that campfire, playing music with my friends, I was sure of the location.  I was exactly where I needed to be.

Have a Greattastic Day and be safe!

J. Mitchie Ulibarri

Season 3 The Empire of Friends: Blog 2: Soft Reboot

Soft Reboot

As you may know, I ended season 2 during the COVID-19 quarantine so I could record the blogs that I had already written. I did not want to be releasing content from two different time periods in my life. My original plan for catching the podcast up to my blogs was to wait until August 19th, because I'm actually working on a third project and that is the day that I plan to announce it. When the coronavirus hit, I decided to change my plans a little bit because I had more free time. The problem is COVID-19 changed so much in my life personally that you, my audience, might get kind of lost in my next installment if I don't explain it…and if I put this in my next installment it would make it really really long…. so yeah, here you go:

Marshall

Because he was such a big part of season 2, it seems only fitting that I start this summary off with Marshall. As I’ve mentioned a lot, I grew up next door to four girls, who I love like “sisters”. The older two girls worked with Marshall and introduced him to me. Three out of the four girls moved away and Marshall and I started hanging out together a lot after the move. He even orchestrated the most convoluted series of surprises I have ever been involved in. When the stay at home order was issued, Marshall left Columbus and went back to Cleveland, to be with his family. During the crisis, he was offered a temporary job at Battelle and got placed in Colorado… As if that state hasn't taken enough from me already! From what I understand he's only supposed to be there for the summer, but I really don't know what's going on right now, so I'll update you later.

August and Aspen

My four “sisters” are named, August, Arden, Aspen, and Arlo (Kid) Anderson. Arden moved to Colorado this time last year. At the end of last summer, Aspen moved to Miami, Florida for school and was in the ROTC program. Kid will be a junior in high school next year and August graduated from OSU in the winter. Shortly after her graduation, August moved in with Arden while she looked for a job. However, because of COVID-19 she could not get a job and ended up moving back home, for the time being. When her college shut down Aspen also returned to Columbus for the summer.

To Be Continued…

Season 3 The Empire of Friends: Blog 1: Hope In Crisis

Hope In Crisis

Congratulations Eva And Zach!

Dad was born in Las Cruces, New Mexico, moved to Michigan for a short while, then spent the remainder of his childhood in Orlando, Florida. He has two sisters, Alicia and Eva. Alicia is a realtor in the Orlando area! Eva is an electrical engineer! Eva and my grandpa, who we call Pop-pop, come up to visit us every year for Thanksgiving. They have been coming every year for 24 years.

In 2016 Eva came to Ohio from Florida for a summer internship and she lived with our family. Right before she came up, she met a guy named Zach. When the internship ended, Eva returned to Florida and she and Zach started dating. The following summer, my family went down to Florida to visit Dad's side of the family. This was the first time I met Zach. This meeting was really significant for me because even though Eva is very close to my immediate family, Zach is the first boyfriend of hers that we met. I can't say that from the moment I met him I knew they were going to get married, but the circumstances of how I met him definitely made him feel a lot more permanent, so I wasn't surprised last summer when we found out that they were engaged!

Most people in their life experience something that I call, “the age of weddings”. You know, that period of time when all of your friends are getting married. Eva is 27, and I'm about to turn 23. Because we are relatively close in age, and because I'm old enough to really enjoy weddings now, Eva and Zach’s wedding was going to kick off my “age of weddings”. On top of that, it's Eva and Zach's wedding!!! We are so close, that I thought it was perfect that Eva and Zach's wedding was going to be the one that kicked it all off! Of course…there was a slight hiccup with the wedding that no one could have anticipated…COVID-19.

We had been in quarantine for maybe two days when I was going to the cabinet to get a snack. Hung on the cabinet door, was a card that read, “Save the date for Eva and Zach's wedding 4/25/2020.” It was at that point that I realized that the wedding probably wasn't going to happen, at least not in the traditional sense.

For those of you who know me, you know I'm a social being, to say the least. This quarantine has literally been my worst nightmare, but that's a story for another time. I was still excited for Eva and Zach's wedding, but I thought the fact that we weren't going to be able to be there and that we would have to watch it through a glorified FaceTime call, would make it somehow less awesome. However, I would now make the argument, the fact that it was through that FaceTime call that actually made it MORE awesome!

I went upstairs to my computer because that's where I take all my zoom calls since that's where my podcast mic is. They started the zoom 15 minutes before the wedding actually started, so that everyone could get on and not miss anything. Those 15 minutes were filled with wedding music, which just built suspense.

The wedding finally started and the camera moved from inside the home to Eva and Zach's backyard. I was really excited, but I wasn't ready for what was actually about to happen. It started with Zach walking down the aisle with Eva’s mom, Julie. Zach's family was stuck in New York in quarantine, so they couldn't make it to the wedding. That fact paired with the fact that I wasn't actually expecting Zach to walk down the aisle, caused me to cry a little bit… don’t judge me!

Pop-pop walked Eva down the aisle, Eva and Zach stood together, they said their vows, and the woman who was marrying them (who was originally Eva's maid of honor), said, “You may kiss the bride!” Directly after that, Eva and Zach moved to a designated area and had their first dance. As we all watched them dance, we couldn't help but smile. Despite everything that was happening in the world, Eva and Zach changed all their plans, and still got married, all in the name of love. By doing so, they became a beacon of hope in a time of crisis for all of those watching.

Congratulations Eva and Zach! Can't wait to watch your Greattastic life together unfold!

Your Loving nephew,

J. Mitchie Ulibarri